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medical or surgical management? (what a choice)

(11 Posts)
easydoesit Sun 06-Sep-09 13:01:21

This is/was my 3rd pregnancy I have one DD. I lost the second at 6 weeks, all natural and not too painful (physically). I bled from 7 weeks with my third but scans at 8 and 9 weeks showed all was well so we told people and got excited. I've just been for my 11 week scan to be told no heartbeat today. Baby died shortly after the last scan at 9 weeks.I'm devastated. My 2 best friends are due the same week I was and my other friend had her baby just the other day. I can't talk to anyone it's too upsetting and I'm hiding away at home. Now I have to choose between the abortion pill and a D&C. I don't think I can cope with seeing another foetus. any advice?

ZippysMum Sun 06-Sep-09 13:06:06

Hi easy,
So sorry to hear your story. I also had several MMCs, including a MMC at 9 weeks. I have had both medical management and the D and C and the D and C was much less traumatic for me. Others may be along later who had a different experience, of course.

I totally understand the 'hiding away' - I hope your partner is being supportive. My sis in law had a little girl on the due date of one of my MMCs,and it was really hard, so I know it will be difficult for you to be around your friends. They will understand, though, so do talk to them about how you are feeling and see them and their babies only when you are ready.

Thinking of you x

easydoesit Sun 06-Sep-09 13:12:08

thank you

QuietlyTTC Sun 06-Sep-09 13:16:22

Sorry for your loss

I tried to go the natural route for my first mmc but ended up in A&E so eventually had an ERPC (D&C)
2nd time I went straight for the ERPC after the scan

Abortion pill wasn't an option here, I'm not sure why only some hospitals offer it

Anyway the ERPCs were okay, painless and fairly easy recovery physically

Wonderstuff Sun 06-Sep-09 13:35:03

I had a D&C when I had a mmc, similar to you, a scan at 10 weeks showed no heartbeat baby had died 2 weeks before. My experience was really positive, the hospital were really sensitive and I experienced no physical pain. I would find out what the set up is at the hospital. My hospital has a separate ob-gyn ward so no danger of seeing any babies or pg women, I don't think this is the case in all hospitals.

Take care of yourself. So sorry that you have to go through this. sad

Wonderstuff Sun 06-Sep-09 13:35:37

I had a D&C when I had a mmc, similar to you, a scan at 10 weeks showed no heartbeat baby had died 2 weeks before. My experience was really positive, the hospital were really sensitive and I experienced no physical pain. I would find out what the set up is at the hospital. My hospital has a separate ob-gyn ward so no danger of seeing any babies or pg women, I don't think this is the case in all hospitals.

Take care of yourself. So sorry that you have to go through this. sad

easydoesit Sun 06-Sep-09 13:36:22

Thanks for you replies, it's upsetting and comforting all at the same time.

wintera Sun 06-Sep-09 13:54:12

As you can see from my thread I have just had a miscarriage myself. I decided to go the natural route. I have no idea why, everyone is different of course. My instincts told me to go natural straight away so I just trusted them, even though many people told me to go for the d and c. I think deep down there is one of the options that makes the most sense to you personally. Even though other people might be telling you what to go for just have some quiet time to yourself and you will arrive at what is best for you. As you haven't mentioned the natural option in your post then I am surmising this isn't a viable option for you for some reason.

This is my 1st miscarriage,I very much hope never to go through such a thing again but if I did then maybe I would arrive at a different decision. I cannot possibly say. I spent Friday passing the baby and bawling my eyes out, and screaming in anger. I also said sorry to it and goodbye, which might be very strange to some people but made total sense to me. If I do ever have another one then maybe I wouldn't be able to face seeing another tiny foetus again. If you do feel like that, then maybe you have actually answered your own question?

easydoesit Sun 06-Sep-09 14:06:39

think you're right Wintera, once is more than enough it's so painful isn't it. Natural is an option but there doesn't seem any sign of that happening so far.

LeeWT Sun 06-Sep-09 18:37:14

hi easy so sorry for your loss.

I had an mmc in May and opted for medical management. I am told that everybody's experiences vary of this option but personally I found it very painful and traumatic. there were full contractions. that said, i got through it and was glad i didnt have an operation. BUT i promised myself if it happened again i woulodnt go that route.

Unfortunately I got to experience the other side of the coin too. I got pregnant again in July and at my scan last tuesday it showed up as a molar pregnancy. i was devastated and was told i had to have an erpc. i had this on thursday and i must say whilst it is somewhat nervewracking having an anaesthetic and an operation, it was, for me, much less traumatic. i am more knocked out from having had the anaesthetic but in my head i am better than the last time.

Hope that this helps since i've experienced both in the last four months.

x

easydoesit Fri 11-Sep-09 10:18:38

Thanku for sharing LeeWT, going in today for ERPC. Just want it over with so i can start healing. It's affected my little 2yo so much, they sense everything. Hope you are feeling better very soon x

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