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Have just had a miscarriage - so much worse than I ever imagined it could be : (

(13 Posts)
wintera Fri 04-Sep-09 21:46:13

Here is my full story. I started spotting a few days ago. I believed I was 8 weeks into my 2nd pregnancy. Not much spotting but enough to get me concerned. Yesterday I was told to go to the early pregnancy clinic at my local hospital for an internal scan. I really truly hoped that I would be told it was nothing to worry about. However, the lady doing the scan proceeded to tell me that she could see a foetus of 7 weeks and 2 days but it had no heartbeat at all. There was also hardly any fluid around the baby either.

This whole experience has been so much worse than I ever thought it could be. Today I have been in terrible pain and there has been so much blood it's unbelievable. I was sat on the loo this afternoon and I was literally howling in agony at the whole thing. I am so raw and emotional at the moment and I can't think of how I am ever going to get through this whole ordeal.

MavisEnderby Fri 04-Sep-09 21:49:32

I am so sorry.

No advice but did not want thread to go unanswered.

Take care xx

MavisEnderby Fri 04-Sep-09 21:50:03

Am here to listen if you want to vent xx

cocolepew Fri 04-Sep-09 21:52:09

I'm so sorry wintera. You will get through it, but it takes time.

Take care of yourself. x

macherie Fri 04-Sep-09 21:52:45

So sorry for you, I remember sitting on the loo in agony too, it is dreadful, heartbreaking and so unfair.

You will get through it. Thinking of you, x

lucysmum Fri 04-Sep-09 21:53:46

So sorry. A word of advice from personal experience - if you really are bleeding heavily and continually you should go to A&E - I eventually called ambulance when I nearly passed out on trip to loo. Needed emergency D&C and blood transfusion. Hope it starts to stop soon.

CMOTdibbler Fri 04-Sep-09 21:55:13

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

If there is so much blood that you are soaking through a pad in less than an hour, and the physical pain is bad, then you need to go to hospital. Did they give you any advice ?

Paolosgirl Fri 04-Sep-09 21:56:49

I'm so, so sorry to hear of your loss sad. I had something similar happen at 11 weeks, when they found the baby had died at 7 weeks - nothing and no-one can prepare you for what you go through, and nothing anyone says can make your pain and grief any less at this time. It does get better somehow, and in time you'll come to accept what has happened, but in the meantime, take it easy, be gentle with yourself and do what feels right for you.

BoffinMum Fri 04-Sep-09 22:16:14

I have been through this, so heartfelt sympathies sad. I would second what people have said about a visit to A and E. I got into a right mess and lost an unbelievable amount of blood, so it's good to get checked out. It also fucked with my head and I needed Prozac and several weeks' counselling, but I have to say I did get over it, more or less. My best friend, who is a GP, said there is nothing wrong with feeling nihilistic after such events, as long as you don't feel the urge to start assembling the means of topping yourself. This was strangely very comforting as I realised it was OK to be seriously sad for a bit.

A little hint if you do end up admitted to hospital. They put me on a gynae ward to avoid me having to see pg people and new babies, but after spending a night next to a terminally ill cancer patient and another miscarrying person, and sharing a loo with I don't know how many people (hard if you're bleeding like mad and supposed to catch everything), I begged to go on the postnatal ward to get better facilities and a more comfortable and cheerful environment. In the event they put me in an amenity room there with my own bathroom, and it was much nicer and happier, and the midwives were so lovely. They spent ages with me holding my hand and talking to me, whereas on the gynae ward nobody gave a stuff as I was not technically 'ill', (despite losing over a litre of blood on day 1).

hester Fri 04-Sep-09 22:22:35

I've been there, and it is unbelievably awful. I'm so sorry you're going through it.

wintera Sat 05-Sep-09 09:07:00

Many thanks indeed for the replies. They are very much appreciated. Both the blood and the pains are not as bad today. There seemed to be a real crisis point yesterday when the pains and blood was at its worst. This was when I was actually passing the foetus I believe. I am still having period pains and am still bleeding but its not anything like as bad now.

When I went to the clinic I was told I had 3 options. To let nature take its course and have the miscarriage, to take tablets to bring it on sooner, or have a d and c. I opted to let nature takes its course. I have since spoke to the clinic and they have told me to go back for another scan next week to make sure everything has come away so to speak.

I believe that physically I am now over the worst part, but emotionally I am obviously still very fragile. I am just taking it easy at the moment, and just taking each day as it comes. Thanks again for the support and kind words!

easydoesit Sun 06-Sep-09 12:48:35

Hope everything goes ok at the scan Wintera. I am sat at home now considering my options. Thought I was 11 weeks but baby died 2 weeks ago. no sign of nature taking it's course and I know i won't cope if I have to pass it and see it. glad you're over the worst physically no doubt emotionally it will take much longer to heal. it's a little comforting knowing you're not alone.

CakeandFineWine Sun 06-Sep-09 19:54:49

Hi Wintera
I M/C a week today at 13 weeks and feel for you so much, its a week on for me and although I feel much stronger the strangest things set me off and I'm poo when DH at work at DD in bed.
Message me if you need any support its a crap experience to go through and it really helps to know people are there if and when you need them, Its much harder to talk in RL in my experience {{{{{hugs}}}}

easydoesit same applies to you xxxx

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