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Recurrent miscarriage but also have healthy DS - advice please

(14 Posts)
starkadder Sun 30-Aug-09 12:35:06

HI everyone

I've just had my third MC. First was at 7 weeks (found out it was MMC with scan at 10 wks - I didn't know my dates as had not actually had a period since coming off the pill 18 months before), second was at 5 wks and this third one was at 8 weeks (after having seen a heartbeat at 7 wks). However, after the first 2 MCs I also had a lovely healthy baby who is now 17 mths.

I live in Spain and they've told me that I should go for tests before getting pregnant again to see if they can find a reason for the MCs.

After the 2nd MC, which was here in Spain too, they did a test on the baby and sent me a report saying it was due to chromosomal problems.

Am feeling quite confused. I do have weird, irregular periods and I also had a huge ovarian cyst (10cm) with this pregnancy that has just miscarried.

I guess I just wanted some advice - since DH and I did manage to have a healthy baby, is it more likely that we have just had terrible bad luck with these 3 MCs? Or is it possible that we do have issues and that we were just incredibly lucky to get our DS?

Has anyone else got experience of this - recurrent miscarriages for a reason while also having had a successful pregnancy?

lollyheart Sun 30-Aug-09 12:50:31

So sorry you are going through thissad

I have had 3 mc, my 1st pregnany was a mc at 10 weeks i then had my dd, my 3rd pregnancy also ended in a mc and then went on to have my ds1, my 5th pregnancy also a mc and then had my ds2.

The doctor told me it was just bad luck.

I'm worried that if i was to get pregnant again it will end with a mc as mine seem to have a patten.

starkadder Sun 30-Aug-09 13:06:57

Thanks for your reply lollyheart,

Have just looked at report of 2nd MC (which I couldn't really bear to look at before) and actually it doesn't say there were chromosomal problems; it says the chromosomes are normal but since they are also XX it is not possible to say whether they relate to me or to the baby. So kind of inconclusive.

It's so hard that no-one seems to know anything much.

I know how you feel about being worried. I'm kind of scared to get pregnant again but also really, really want another baby.

I know I am very lucky to have one already.

groundhogs Mon 31-Aug-09 23:50:25

i'm kinda in your same boat, but all my mc came after birth of ds, 1st mmc, 2&3 both mc, 2nd one damned near fatal. I'm scared to try again, the last mc really upset me, the others came as a shock, but were so soon after ds1, it kinda worked somehow for the best.

I think i lost all mine due to work involved in ds1, and pretty lax dh, leaving all childcare, housework etc to me, plus stress of living in egypt where we've been the last 3yrs, an experience i'll never, ever repeat, it was an abysmal life.

I'd like to try again, but it's scary. I do console myself with the thought that perhaps those eggs weren't viable, and perhaps the next one will be ok, but also, now we're back home, maybe that'll help, at least i'll have family nearby to help.. There has been talk of need for complete bedrest for next time, which could be tricky!

Wishing you luck, look after yourself!

starkadder Tue 01-Sep-09 13:50:28

Thanks groundhogs. Sounds like you've had a horrible time, are you back in the UK now? Must be good to be home. Don't blame yourself.

I think maybe we are just unlucky. Are you going to have tests/investigations as well?

PolarBear74 Wed 02-Sep-09 08:22:22

I feel a bit similar to you both. I had my DD and then since then I have had 2 MC, the 2nd of which was a horrendous experience and I am worried about it happening again when we try next time but have been told I cannot have any tests until the 3 MC barrier has been reached.

I feel confused - was I just lucky with my DD or is there a new problem there I don't know about?

groundhogs Wed 02-Sep-09 20:35:34

dunno starkadder, i'm not sure how seriously an nhs doc will take the history, seeing as only one of then, the mmc, was here in london. May see how it goes, if i do try again, as soon as i test positive, think i'll tell them about the history. Anyone got any opinions on that way of thinking? Views welcome!

I know it's practically a floggable offence on mn to mention the daily mail.. Shh! But there was an interesting article about one woman who's literally had something like 13 rounds of ivf after 2mc and an ectopic and at 41, she's finally done it! TheTheThey counted the cromosones in the egg to select the ones with best chance for going forward. So when they say cromosonal probs, that means that something's not quite all there. Too many, or too few, either way, it'd cause some problems.

The way i come to terms with it, is that there is a reason we wait 3m to tell everyone, that things can, and as we all know, do go wrong. As much as we want another baby, having one is better than not having any.

My sister had mc last year, when i had my last. She was devastated, cos this was her first attempt, and we can all guess what would go thru our own minds if we were in that situation. Thankfully it was a blip, she just had her first baby, my first niece, a month ago!

Keep positive, keep the faith, and take care of you!

worzella Wed 02-Sep-09 20:45:58

I had a mc, then DS1, then 2 more MCs , (7weeks and 9 weeks), then I was referred to the miscarriage clinic where they did loads of tests. They were fantastic people and took great care of us. They said that they could find a reason in 50% of cases. I was dreading being in the 50% where they couldn't find a reason. Anyhow, eventually they found that I had antiphospholipid antibody syndrome (which is a blood clotting thing that carries an 80% risk of miscarriage), and an over-active thyroid (doubles the rate of miscarriage). Treatment for the blood clotting thing was aspirin and daily injections of heparin which was fairly easy once I got used to it, and the thyroid was sorted with pills!. Eventually we were told we could try again and had DS2 and then DD1. Three children! After all we'd been through. Fantastic! grin.
Both conditions are auto-immune things and typically appear during your 30s and so who knows whether I had it before DS1 was born..... or whether it subsequently developed.... Glad to be the other side of it all though as it was sooooo hard in the midst of it.

Hope you get as good treatment as we did.

groundhogs Wed 02-Sep-09 20:59:50

dunno starkadder, i'm not sure how seriously an nhs doc will take the history, seeing as only one of then, the mmc, was here in london. May see how it goes, if i do try again, as soon as i test positive, think i'll tell them about the history. Anyone got any opinions on that way of thinking? Views welcome!

I know it's practically a floggable offence on mn to mention the daily mail.. Shh! But there was an interesting article about one woman who's literally had something like 13 rounds of ivf after 2mc and an ectopic and at 41, she's finally done it! TheTheThey counted the cromosones in the egg to select the ones with best chance for going forward. So when they say cromosonal probs, that means that something's not quite all there. Too many, or too few, either way, it'd cause some problems.

The way i come to terms with it, is that there is a reason we wait 3m to tell everyone, that things can, and as we all know, do go wrong. As much as we want another baby, having one is better than not having any.

My sister had mc last year, when i had my last. She was devastated, cos this was her first attempt, and we can all guess what would go thru our own minds if we were in that situation. Thankfully it was a blip, she just had her first baby, my first niece, a month ago!

Keep positive, keep the faith, and take care of you!

mathanxiety Thu 03-Sep-09 06:25:47

Had DC1, then 3 early MCs, then DC2 and DC3, then another MC, then DC4 & 5. After the third MC my doctor did an analysis, found nothing wrong. So they put me on progesterone suppositories just in case hormones were an issue, as soon as the next pregnancy was confirmed; DC2 was the result. After my 4th MC (which was @ 13 weeks) I got pg again immediately (within 2 weeks); pregnancy went fine, so did the next one. With the three early MCs, I had felt no morning sickness -- I think this is why my doctor suspected low progesterone might be the culprit. The whole thing is a crapshoot.

jellybeans Thu 03-Sep-09 07:06:15

Hi and sorry for your losses. I have had 4 MC (6, 11, 20, 23 weeks) and also have had 4 fullterm pregnancies in between, have 5 DC (one pg was twins). I had a MC with my 1st, 4th, 6th, 7th. I did have 2 possible reasons and was given a 50% risk of further MC (especially 2nd trimester ones) and needed treatment with DS, blood thinners and a cervical op. Wishing you lots of luck.

karma Thu 03-Sep-09 12:43:58

Hi
Really sorry to hear your story.
My history is that I had 2 boys with no problems, then went on to mc 4 times.
Two were at 5-6 weeks, one at 10 weeks and then a twin pregnancy at 13 weeks. Things were really hard for us and I did wonder whether I could go through it all again, but for us it was 5th time lucky and our daughter is now 5 months.
We were referred to a recurrent mc clinic, and all our tests came back negative which did give us some hope. wonder whether it was an age thing - had dd just after my 40th.
It is such a horrible thing to go through, I really feel for you.
Wishing you the best of luck.

starkadder Thu 03-Sep-09 19:28:57

thanks so much for your replies everyone.

They have really helped - both the positive stories and also for me to try and understand what I want re: the tests, if you see what I mean.

I think I was quite shocked when they told me I should have the tests done - basically didn't want to admit that there might be "something wrong with me" but, as worzella said - diagnosis can actually be really helpful . and as karma said - finding nothing wrong can also be cause for hope.

So positives all round really.

Am slowly getting over loss of this MC (perhaps DS screaming his head off in the background helps) but it has really reignited something in me...I am thinking about newborn babies TOO much..!

Your stories have definitely helped me feel better and not to be miserable about maybe never ever being able to have another one. Thank you.

groundhogs Thu 03-Sep-09 22:12:22

i saw a thread about baby asprin, tbh i was thinking of trying that myself, after all it's not a big enough dose, so perhaps worth a shot, in the really early days once i test positive, get myself down the doctors sharpish and have myself monitored. If it fails again, it may be a case of so be it, or there is a hormonal issue.

One way or another, i'm not going to stress about it, if it's meant to be it'll be. I'm 41 anyway, so perhaps it's pushing it a bit.. And it's not like i'm looking forward to all that sleep deprivation and helplessness that needs sorting! Lol!

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