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possible misdiagnosed miscarriage? - please help I'm so confused!

(4 Posts)
chills41 Fri 28-Aug-09 12:57:28

Hello, I wondered if anyone here is going through the same thing as myself. Altogether I have 5 children and so far experienced three miscarriages. I had a son, now 19 and a daughter now aged 18 expecting her first baby 8 weeks before ours is due, with my first husband. I had my other daughter who is now 10 with a former partner and I now have two little boys aged 4 and 2 with my present husband.

My first miscarriage happened at 15 weeks in between having my daughters, which the doctor put down to chromosome abnormalities. I had a scan at 12 weeks and the doctor said I may miscarry and to come back in 2-3 weeks and when I did all he could see was obliterated pregnancy tissue so I had an EVAC to remove on November 5th 1993.

The second and third happened with my present husband in the last 18 months. In May last year I went for my 12 week scan to be told the pregnancy was ectopic but was in my uterus and I naturally miscarried a few days later on May 5th. Then in January this year I went for an early scan on the advice of my GP to be told there was nothing but an empty sac in my uterus, which a few days later I miscarried naturally on January 5th (ironically exactly 8 months after the last one).

After these happened we decided that if we did get pregnant again then ok brill, but if it didn’t happened then it wasn’t meant to be. The midwife said that after three recurring miscarriages they would start investigations but probably wouldn’t find anything. We weren’t that worried and at our age (41) it would be a blessing if it ever happened.

In July of this year I was amazed to read another positive pregnant result 2 days before my period was due! I was so amazed that I did two more tests, at 5 weeks pregnant and then again at 7 weeks and the day after went to the EPAU for an early scan which they carry out at 6 ½ weeks and then again at 9 weeks to ensure that everything is developing as it should be.

At the first scan (7 weeks) there was a midwife present with the sonographer. I was so nervous but when they told me they could see a baby with a heartbeat and showed me it on the screen I shed a tear of relief and was ecstatic. This one had made it! I was going to be a mummy again at last!

However, yesterday I went back to the EPAU for the follow up 9-week scan to date the baby and reassure me. Once again the clinic midwife was present with the sonographer. As my bladder wasn’t full enough, I had to have an internal scan and after about what seemed hours of probing and not being able to see what they could, they then apologised and said they couldn’t find the heartbeat.

Well I was beyond belief and after talking to the midwife decided that I wanted to be scanned again and see it for myself. I went through the worst 5 minutes of my life as she scanned (externally this time) and as she moved over the baby and in her words ‘through’ it she explained and showed me there was no heartbeat present. The midwife said that the baby measured 18 mm and looked about 8 ½ weeks and I was supposed to be 9 weeks (to which I asked what difference does a couple of days). I asked her for a picture and left in tears. After talking to the midwife again we decided to go home and think about what we were going to do and we could leave it no later than mid September to see what happens.

Part of me wanted it gone; my baby had died so why wait but after stumbling across your website, on looking for ideas what to call the baby, I was filled with what I can only explain as ‘hope’ which ironically we had at the same time decided that was what we wanted to call the baby. I had never heard of misdiagnosed miscarriage before but after reading the stories on here it has given me an understanding of what others have gone through and come out the other side with good news and I do hope this will be the outcome for us.

Sometimes I feel selfish, as I know that there are many out there with no children trying so hard to get pregnant and having one miscarriage after another. I don’t feel that I deserve to be investigated as to what is going wrong when I have 5 healthy children already. I keep telling myself I should be grateful for what I do have but all we want is another child to complete our new family having recently got married.

I have had no bleeding or cramps and the only pain I am in apart from emotional pain, is that the sonographer left me after the second time she scanned me. She put a lot more pressure on my abdomen than the first time she scanned me. In fact she had asked me several times during the internal one if she was pressing too hard. It was as though she thought it didn’t matter, as there was no heartbeat present so therefore there wasn’t any reason to be careful anymore. I have now got sore abs from where she was pushing.

We have been told we can come back and have another scan whenever we want before we make any decision but how long do we leave it to go back. The midwife says when we do go back we shouldn't expect there to be a heartbeat because there isn’t one now so there won’t be at a future scan but reading these stories how can she be so sure.

I'm just playing the waiting game at the moment but feel like I should get a second opinion but don't know how to go about it at all. Having never got this far and had this happen it's all new to me. All I can say is I saw a beautiful baby on that screen on Wednesday and for them to say there was no heartbeat when it was there before 2 weeks ago on a tiny bump at 7 weeks is a little hard to take.

Sorry for rambling but not sure at all what to do or how to go about anything. Both my daughter and step daughter are pregnant too and I can't even bring myself to look at them until I know in my own mind what is happening to our baby.

Please help… any advice anyone can give would be gratefully received!

Waiting, praying and desperately hoping
Chills

MmeLindt Fri 28-Aug-09 13:05:38

I am so sorry that you are going through this.

When I had my first m/c the scan was very quick, and I always had doubt in my mind that there might have been a heartbeat after all. I did not see anything, but then I did not know what to look for. I felt very guilty for a long time afterwards.

When I had the second m/c I asked to be scanned before the D&C to set my mind at rest. The consultant agreed and took lots of time to make sure. I was 7 weeks the first time and 11 weeks the second time.

All I can say is to give yourself time to come to terms with it. By all means if they will scan you again, take them up on it in a day or two.

Did the midwife say anything about when to go back?

chills41 Fri 28-Aug-09 13:43:11

thanks for your kind words Mme and only sorry to hear what you have gone thru.

The midwife was very understanding and I saw her the last time I miscarried. She said I could go back whenever I wanted, whenever I felt ready but not to leave it any later than mid September as we go on holiday a month later and she wanted to make sure eveything was alright with me before I go. The gist I got from her was that if I go back in a week or two I will see for myself if the baby has got any bigger I suppose.

I still believe they have got it wrong and their equipment just wasn't picking up the heartbeat. After reading stories on the Misdiagnosed Miscarriage website http://www.misdiagnosedmiscarriage.com/ I joined and it has given me a sense of hope and belief that 'm not the only one who feels like this.

EmRog Sun 30-Aug-09 17:00:40

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

I had an apparently healthy 13 week scan at the end of April, but then a month later (at 17 weeks) discovered that I'd had a missed miscarriage - and the doctor reckoned that the baby had died at 13 weeks old, which means within days of the original scan.

Although I knew something was wrong, and suspected what had happened, I was surprised that it had been so soon after we'd seen the baby wiggling on the screen.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to check again as mistakes do happen - and I understand the need to keep hoping until there is absolutely no doubt.

Hugs.

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