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UK SANDS - What are people doing without forum

(14 Posts)
ClaudiaW Wed 26-Aug-09 21:46:33

How are people doing without the UK SANDS forum. I loved it and I miss it lots! sad

AppleHEAD Wed 26-Aug-09 22:51:59

I miss it and I feel so sad for all the newly beareved people who won't have it. What on earth happened does anyone know?

liahgen Wed 26-Aug-09 22:53:32

there was lots of bullying. It started with a posted saying she'd had a termination I think, kicked off rom there.

Very sad,

tinkerbellesmuse Thu 27-Aug-09 15:58:17


I lost my son three weeks ago - he was stillborn at 22 weeks. Everybody speaks so highly of sands and I was immediately pointed in their direction. Sadly the forum closed the day after I joined.

It is so sad that the actions of a few have prevented me and no doubt many like me getting the support we need sad.

AppleHEAD Thu 27-Aug-09 18:36:19

It seems so bizarre to me, it is the second time in recent years that it has had to close and it is always the same reason! Last time it was because someone thought a person who had lost a baby earlier wouldn't be in the same pain as someone who had lost one later! Bizarre.
Well at least we have here.

SpringBlossom Tue 01-Sep-09 18:28:52

I am really shocked to read this. I can't believe this could happen. Sands was so vital for me last year when I lost my baby at 19 weeks pregnant. I 'met' a couple of people on there who have been so important to me in getting through the horror and devastation. I did wonder sometimes about whether long term it was a bit 'cliquey'... I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

In the end I stopped going on, not because I had any problems, but as time went on it became more difficult to go on there and see all the fresh pain. Eventually moving away from Sands was part of my own journey of getting over the grief. But in the immediate aftermath of losing my baby it was an absolute life saver. Very sad to read this.

Tinkersbellesmuse - I am really sorry to read about what you're going through. I know it very well and know it's an agony. Very sorry. xxxxx

Habbibu Wed 02-Sep-09 14:38:03

I wondered what had happened too. I'm surprised it kicked off over a termination - that section was open from the start iirc. There was trouble with the live chat before the new forum opened, but I am shocked at the idea of bullying - it was always such a nice place, and kept me sane through pregnancy with dd.

Like springblossom, I think moving away from SANDS was part of my own progress, but I'm so sad that it's not there for people in need right now.

Dozer Thu 03-Sep-09 21:44:26

Not been on the SANDS one, but there are various forums on "baby and bump" to do with loss and SANDS.

mummytojacob Mon 07-Sep-09 20:46:20

There's a new forum been set up at by some of the ladies from the SANDS forum. Just as welcoming and helpful!

AppleHEAD Thu 10-Sep-09 19:01:04

I used Sands a lot when my daughter died. She would have been three and a half now. But if I ever go on now it's because I feel that I should give support to women who have just had stillbirths.

FiFi74 Sat 19-Sep-09 22:03:40

I used SANDS for over 2 years now, on and off after losing my 2 angels both at 20 weeks each time. I was shocked when a friend on facebook said it had closed! I have no idea how some people will cope with out it! Always a minority of people who spoil it for the majority.

Fi xxx

Anya4 Sat 31-Oct-09 19:51:25

Has it closed forever ? or are they going to re-open it ?
I'm not sure I understand why it has to close - has there been any official explanation?
Its such a shame - esp for the newly bereaved. I didn't use it much but every year on the anniversary of losing our daughter I'd write a wee piece to post, just to mark the passing of time.

AppleHEAD Wed 04-Nov-09 22:56:30

I know it is terrible. I think it might open in Jan. I remember it closed before because of some bullying over who had the right to be more upset someone whose baby had died earlier or later. This had something to do with someone mentioning they had had a termination. Not sure how on earth you stop such offensive people. I am heart broken for the people who have just lost a child. I lost my dd at 34 weeks 3 years ago. For the first few months I just read the posts it gave me comfort that I wasn't alone.

sh77 Sat 07-Nov-09 17:29:39

It is a huge shame that the forum is not available. Some lovely angel mummies set up another one with similar format and categories (ourspecialbabies). Nothing really compares as there was years worth of experiences on the sands forum.

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