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Miscarrying and need help

(9 Posts)
LaneyW Thu 06-Aug-09 09:33:05

I am just having a miscarriage, this was my first baby. I was only 5 weeks pregnant but I loved it already even though I know it was only a tiny mass of cells. I can't stop crying and I feel like I am living through a nightmare, I just wish I could wake up and be pregnant again. My husband is being very sweet and saying that we will start trying again as soon as we can and I have been reading that you are more fertile after miscarrying, which I hope is true. I can't bear the thought that I'm not pregnant any more.

Picante Thu 06-Aug-09 09:44:45

Oh I'm so sorry. It is awful no matter what stage it happens.

sad

Give yourself time to come to terms with it.

LaneyW Thu 06-Aug-09 09:57:46

This forum is helping me a lot, I just read too that most cases of early miscarriage are caused by a faulty chromosome, a one off genetic problem that doesn't hapen again in future pregnancies, so I'm trying to keep positive and telling myself that this doesn't mean I won't be a Mum at some point. I'm 33 so I feel liketime is running out. I was so excited and happy, to go from that to this black despair is so hard.

thefatladyscreams Thu 06-Aug-09 11:41:57

Oh LaneyW - it is horrible and just so sad. I m/c a couple of weeks ago.

Your chances of having a successful pregnancy are still really, really high so please don't torture yourself with doomsday thoughts.

Have you had a look at the Miscarriage Association website - there is some very helpful info there and some good statistics.

As you will have seen from the threads, m/c are far more common that they appear. Also remember that you are not just grieving but also your hormones are still all over the place - so I'm afraid it is a horrible emotional rollercoaster at the moment.

Take care and if/when you feel you are ready to try again, you will find some very supportive ladies on the TTC after m/c threads.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

JoannaB Thu 06-Aug-09 13:46:24

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also lost my first pregenancy to a (missed) miscarriage, at 32 yrs old, so have an idea of how you might feel; although, the one rule I have learned is that there is no one way to feel about misacarraige, and every single situation is slightly different. I think the biggest shock for me was that it was the first time in my life that something so big had happenned to me that was totally out of my control. I was totally blown apart by it. However, on a positive note, I did go on to have DD who was conceieved about 3 months later, so there is hope. It's very early days yet though, give yourself some time to grieve and be kind to yourselves. ((()))

zayja Thu 06-Aug-09 16:14:00

So sorry LaneyW that you have to experience this. It sounds like you have a great DH for support which is wonderful.

I had a missed miscarriage at nearly 11w in late April, baby had stopped developing a few weeks prior. It was probably the worst experience of my life. I'm also 33 and feel the pressure to have a DC ASAP. I felt such loss at first, and still do occasionally, but I console myself that it was not meant to be. I appreciate the dear friends I have, DH, and being able to read other peoples experiences - all very comforitng.

One thing I read online after my mmc was a post that said they conceived 6mos. or so after a mc, had a successful pregnancy and now look back and know they'd never have the DC they do without going through the mc. That's really given me hope and a positive outlook.

Mouette Thu 06-Aug-09 16:45:17

Dear LaneyW
I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my first baby too, at 17 weeks, and was devastated. But I conceived again 3 months later and now have a beautiful baby son. I was 36 when I miscarried, and will be 38 on August 15, so you mustn't think time is running out! 33 is young. Early mc are usually due to bad luck and there is no reason why you can't conceive again, but please give yourself time to recover and come to terms with the bereveavement - that's what it is. Best of luck. xx

muchlove Thu 06-Aug-09 17:40:35

Dear Laney I'm so so sorry you are going through this.
I went through the same thing last week and chose to go the natural route at home. Well it was tough but I'm through it now. I know exactly how you are feeling, I feel the same. One minute I am ok the next it comes flooding back and I just want it to be back to normal. I cannot bear this grief that keeps sneaking up on me at strange times. Damn it !! It's so bloody horrible !!
Ok I am composing myself and sending you a hug and wish I could take the sad feeling away from you

xx

MummyDragon Thu 06-Aug-09 17:48:56

LaneyW, I've been through a mc too and I'm so sorry for you and your DH. As the other posters have said, you are certainly not running out of time, and yes, your body will want to get pregnant again after the miscarriage. You might find that you want to take some time to come to terms with things before trying again, or you might want to start straight away. There's no right or wrong answer. Let us know how you're getting on. Hugs x

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