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Ladies I need your help, please read!

(60 Posts)
abi89campaigningforchange Mon 03-Aug-09 23:34:18

I'm Abi and I'm starting this Campaign for better treatment of women suffering miscarriages following the lack of empathy and neglect that I experienced from my local hospital. My story is at the end of this post, if you would like to read it. Apologies for the extremely long post...

I need your help to highlight this issue - and I'm going to take it as far as I can go. I'm aware that Mumsnet have previously mentioned this subject and that they were campaigning for this at one point. I've been told that the pressure will resume around September and I hope to work with them to push this until we get a result!

Whether you have had a miscarriage or not, I hope you will want to support this cause - it's what every woman deserves.

If you've had a miscarriage that turned into an even more traumatic experience at the hands of your local hospital or whether you feel your situation was dealt with professionally and with genuine care, let me know. I want to promote these positive stories and highlight these negative ones (anonymously unless requested otherwise) so that everyone is given an acceptable level of treatment.

My aim is to take this complaint as high as it can go, to hopefully introduce a procedure and standards for hospitals to follow when dealing with women suffering miscarriages. This includes treating miscarriages as an emergency.

Below is what I believe should be standard UK practice ? it?s not asking much, just the very basics that all women deserve when suffering a miscarriage.

1)Miscarriages should be treated as an emergency. Meaning being prioritised through A&E.

2)All professionals need to be trained in compassionate and empathetic communication, they should be advised on the effects that losing a baby has on women and therefore would be less likely to cause any upset.

3)Appropriate waiting/treatment rooms ? that?s not in the Children?s ward, or the Anti-natal clinic. Women suffering a miscarriage or a suspected miscarriage should be separated from pregnant women having routine checks, and from women wishing to terminate their unwanted pregnancy.

4)Scans should be given to all women suspecting a miscarriage the same day. Portable scanning units with trained staff should be available in all A&E departments.

5)Every woman should be entitled to choose how she wishes her miscarriage to conclude ? by surgery, through medication to start things off, or naturally. These options should be fully explained with timescales, what they involve and risks by trained professionals.

6)Waiting times for medical or surgical management of a confirmed miscarriage for those who choose it should be within a reasonable time scale of 1-2 days to reduce the risk of the trauma of going through a natural miscarriage.

7)Patients having a miscarriage at hospital should be kept regularly informed ? what is happening, what to expect next, what the hospital is going to do for them. (The staff should also know this!)

8)Medical jargon should be more sensitively renamed - not to refer to the miscarriage as a spontaneous/missed ABORTION, and Evacuation of Retained Products of Conception are both insensitive.

9)More information and advice to be given after the miscarriage regarding both the physical and emotional side ? councelling to be routinely offered with an initial appointment arranged within 2 weeks of the miscarriage if wanted by the patient.

10)A follow-up reassurance scan to be given to all women before 6 weeks after the miscarriage for piece of mind and to confirm that there are no further complications.

11)A histology conducted by the hospital should include the option of a sex test as this can help with the grieving process ? even if it an option that requires additional payment ? and the results of the histology should be givin within 6 weeks of the miscarriage for closure. (understandably this would depend on the products of the miscarriage and the stage of the pregnancy).

12)Further blood tests should be routine ? including those for chlamydia/lupus, antiphospholid syndrome and blood clotting disorders.

13)Options for the disposal of the baby/foetus should be provided, it should not be treated as ?clinical waste? and should not just be ?routinely disposed of?.

14)Having to ring around to cancel your own pregnancy related appointments shouldn?t be necessary, it should be automatically done

Please help by joining my facebook page (below) and supporting this group by posting your comments and stories. A miscarriage is so much of a traumatic experience without having to deal with knowing you didn't receive the best possible care. Help make sure that this doesn't happen to anyone else.

"CAMPAIGN FOR UK STANDARDS ON THE TREATMENT OF MISCARRIAGES"
www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=237985745071&ref=mf#/group.php?gid=237985745071&ref=search

Thank You

Abi XxXxX

. I lost my baby at 16 weeks ago when I was 12 weeks pregnant.

I'm posting this hoping for as many replies as possible following a complaint I made to my local hospital. Basically I received some of the poorest care possible.

I went into hospital on a Tuesday with bleeding and was told that I wouldn't be able to have a scan until Friday unless I was "Bleeding to death" - that's a quote.
On Wednesday I booked in for an emergency scan with a different hospital which told me that my baby had no heartbeat and had died at 7 weeks 5 days. I was told I could go into hospital on the Saturday to take the tablet to empty my womb, however on the Thursday I went into labour. When I arrived at A&E I was told to wait for 3 1/2 hours in the A&E waiting room with other patients and it wasn't until I lost a lot of blood in one go that they put me in a bed (IN THE CHILDREN'S WARD!!!).

After waiting for around 10-15 minutes for pain relief I was given morphene and the pain of my contractions lessened (My other half had to demand pain relief 3 times from nurses and found 4 of them in the corridor having a chat when he could hear me screaming from where they were). However one nurse stood me up to wipe the blood away after thinking that my contractions had finished and that was when my baby was born - when I think of my baby now I don't think about the scan pictures that I have, the mental image I have is of my baby hitting the floor.

Eventually I was transfered to a different hospital as no one could deal with me there (after being there for around 5-6 hours, surely they would have known that when I got there?!). My baby was taken away for a histology and I was kept in over night at the other hospital.

I asked a nurse to know the sex of my baby to which I was told "I'm sure that can be arranged" - to give me some closure and to help me grieve, 14 weeks after my miscarriage I was given the result of the histology and this test wasn't done. I would have paid privately to know as it was important to me. Now I'll never know and I'm struggling to cope mentally.

After 2 months of feeling that something wasn't right with me I have finally had a scan on my uterus that has told me that my left ovary is abnormal which has left me in a further state of depression.

I am still suffering depression and anxiety following the way I was dealt with - I have had trouble grieving for my baby due to my ongoing complaint as I have had no closure.

After complaining to the hospital about my situation and the lack of care and empathy from staff I now have a meeting this coming Tuesday 4th August with the Modern Matron and the Operational Service Manager to discuss my complaint. By doing this I aim my complaint to go further to establish a nationwide agreed proceedure on how women are dealt with when suffering a miscarriage, ie I want it to be treated as an emergency (it's not a broken arm or leg afterall) - and I want a scan to be given to all women before 6 weeks after their miscarriage for the piece of mind that everything is back to normal - and if it's not at least it's better to know sooner rather than later as things can hopefully be done to make it right. I would also like for women to officially be given the option of a sex test during the histology (obviously this depends on how far along the pregnancy was, and whether it is actually possible to conduct one on the products of the miscarriage) even if it means having to pay for one, as long as the option is given.

I would really appreciate anyone who has suffered any sort of neglect at hospital relating to a miscarriage to post a reply on here. Even if you received brilliant care infact, that you think should be made standard, I want to take your story (anonymous of course) with me to this meeting, and again to people higher up until something is done to lessen the pain, stress and anxiety of going through such a traumatic and upsetting ordeal.

Please help me in my aim to obtain better treatment for women suffering a miscarriage by posting a reply here or on my Facebook group "Campaign for UK standards on the treatment of miscarriages", pass the message to your family and friends too if they have any stories.

Thank You

Abi XxXxX

Lauree Tue 04-Aug-09 00:02:01

Abi, I'm so sorry to hear your story. Its so hard to loose a baby. xx [hug].

I can empathise to an extent- I had a misscarriage at 6 weeks back in february, and I'm caught between 'just getting on as normal', and my grief over the loss.

I feel the care I personally received was very reasonable, even good, but I'll follow your thread because you're making an important point.

x

busybuzybee Tue 04-Aug-09 00:07:25

Abi

I empathise totally. I had a miscarriage in June and the only time I saw a doctor was because I had to shout at the receptionist! My male doctor was totally unsympathetic to what I was going through which made the whole thing even worse. I had questions to ask but felt I couldn't because I was just being dismissed.

I do feel for you and I hope you get some results out of your meeting.

Countingthegreyhairs Tue 04-Aug-09 00:43:45

Abi - I am so sorry for your loss

I am shocked at some of the things you had to go through on top of an already traumatic event (being put on a children's ward ????) Words fail me ....

Well done for having the determination to turn what must be such a hard thing to endure in to something very positive for other women. And by doing so, I hope you manage to find some comfort too .... x

abi89campaigningforchange Tue 04-Aug-09 09:54:10

Thank you for those - it means a lot to me that I've received so much support already. If you're on Facebook please join my group - Campaign for UK standards for the treatment of miscarriages I'll keep you updated on here though as well, and as soon as I can get a petition set up I'll post it here. Thousands of women have had miscarriages, many I'm sure have felt comforted by the treatment they received at hospitals but unfortunately there's the rest of us who have shared terrible and traumatic experiences. I'm keen to hear the positive stories to highlight how good care can be - and to demonstrate that those cases should be standard care to everyone. Unfortunately I also need to here the negative stories too. The trust, press and government need to know this is not a one off - and that's why there has to be something in writing to set out how things should be done.

Abi X

Mouette Tue 04-Aug-09 12:28:08

Hi Abi
I miscarried at 17 weeks last year. I was very well treated during the mc itself, the staff were very empathetic, respectful (referring always to "the baby" not "the foetus" for example), and dealt with the medical side of things really well. I was treated in Hilligdon hospital. However I was booked for my pregnancy in Northwick Park. After the mc Hillingdon did tests and gave me the results - that is, they could find nothing wrong. I then called Northwick Park to inform them of the mc and enquire about follow up. The midwife I spoke to said "OK, we'll cancel all your appointments" and practically put the phone down on me. There was no follow up. THAT WAS NOT RIGHT - I had miscarried at 17 weeks which is not normal. When I got pregnant again, we saw a consultant privately at our own cost - he told us I had a weak cervix and would need an operation. So I did - again privately and at our own cost. Had I relied on the NHS and Northwick Park, I would have lost my second baby, because they were just not interested. Late mc should be followed up - I have a condition that causes recurrent mc, this should have been picked up adn I should have been given support in the following pregnancy. I have heard of other women with a weak cervix who lost 2 babies before the NHS did anything, and that is not right. It is treatable, and should be picked up the first time round. This issue I believe should be highlighted. I know it's a rare condition - but the trauma of losing a baby so late should not be underestimated. Please add my story to your campain, and highlight the plight of women who have a weak cervix when they are not given adequate support. xx

Mouette Tue 04-Aug-09 12:31:30

In general I believe more should be done to diagnose and treat conditions that cause recurrent mc - the NHS will often wait until a woman has lost 2 or 3 babies before doing anything. Granted, most mc are early mc and due to bad luck - but late mc should always be followed up and support offered for subsequent pregnancies.

cupcakefairy Tue 04-Aug-09 13:29:58

Sorry for your loss Abi but this is a great campaign. I think MN did publish a code of practice for miscarriage in a major paper which includes many of your points. Hope your meeting went well.

I was given generally good care during my medical management of mc but there was a lack of empathy and tact, for sure.
I absolutely agree medical staff should be given mroe training in interpersonal skills.

The first doctor we saw at the hospital when we went in for the medical management asked me 'so this is an unwanted pregnancy?' I was already in tears but that really set me off. He then kept referring to dh as my 'boyfriend'..all he had to do was read my notes, they were in his hand!

The 3 options were also not talked through with me at all at my scan; I was simply given a leaflet and sent away when I was in absolute fits of tears.

Finally, I believe husbands/partners should be treated a lot better. Not one doctor or nurse asked my dh's name, offered him food or even acknowledged he was in the room. One nurse sent him out when she gave me the pessaries and then didn't go back to get him afterwards. I was writhing in pain by the time he eventually came back.
It was his baby too and this really angered me. Just asking if he was doing ok would have sufficed.

Tabitha8 Tue 04-Aug-09 14:23:11

My local hospital has a good system - a separate scanning dept in the EPU. However, if having an ERPC, they want to "dispose" of the womb contents as clinical waste. I queried this and was told I was only the second person in ten years to raise an objection! They sent my request to take my baby home with me to the local coroner! Meanwhile, I went home and miscarried there, which was better for me. That was my second of three early mcs.
We took them a copy of the RCOG guidelines, which they claimed never to have seen.
However, all the staff were very sympathetic to everything that was happening.

squilly Tue 04-Aug-09 14:45:12

I've had 4 mcs with varying degrees of sympathy and compassion. The more recent ones were less traumatic as the processes have changed a lot in 14 years. It depends on who you get, though as people are as inconsistent as people tend to be, regardless of being medical people dealing with loss.

I am sorry for your experiences OP and those of other respondents. It's such an awful time for any woman and there are certainly more changes that need to be made.

I had to wait til after my 3rd mc to get looked at at all and even to this day, they don't know what was/is wrong. DD it would seem is a freak of nature!

More answers on MCs would be great, but it's never going to be a priority in the NHS imo. It'll always be 'one of those things' that women have to contend with

pruneplus2 Tue 04-Aug-09 23:02:56

Hiya, firstly may I say what a great and worthy cause - I wish you every success.

My first miscarriage in March was dealt with by all of the professionals I encountered along the way with great sensitivity, care, sympathy and compassion from start to finish. I was totally informed about what was happening, what my choices were, what was going to happen and what to do if I needed further advice/assistance. Every nurse, doctor and sonographer that I saw had plenty of time to explain procedures and answer questions - and this was in an extremely busy EPU unit of a major city hospital.

I have recently miscarried again in July and the experience was totally different. It seemed like nobody had any time, it was essentially like a conveyor belt, although the clinic was less busy? It was a case of scan, tell the the bad news, ushered out of the scan room quickly into an obvious bereavement waiting room in full view of all other women/couples waiting, thrust a few leaflets, get them to make a choice without fully explaining anything in detail, give them a telephone number to ring and out the door...

This was in another EPU of a different major city hospital in the same city but run by a different Healthcare Trust - the hospitals are less than 7 miles apart but the standard of care is many many more miles apart.

This highlights the inconsistency of care. How can one major city have 2 different Trusts working so differently in every way?

xxx

bianca777 Thu 06-Aug-09 23:13:07

Hi!

I went through the same thing just yesterday.This was my first pregnancy and first miscarriage ever. The night before I reported to the H with bleeding and cramping only to be told to go home as "they do not do scans overnight".And this happened after I was reffered "by mistake to the wrong department" and waited for one hour in vain.Went home and next morning bleeding was still there. Decided to go to and report to H. Before I left the house I begun to bleed heavily (I later learned that this was the begining of my labour).As I got to the H and had to register again to A&E, waitig at the same time, begun to change pads one after the other as tehy did not face the job.Although I stressed that I had previously reported and that this time I was bleeding continously, I had to go through "the procedure, as they do not make the rules but have to respect them". Passed from pillar to post and was loosing bits of my baby all over the H toilets, depending on the section I was. Do not even know at which point I lost the baby, and because of the pain and distress (which I was not offered relief or advice/warning for), do not remember a lot, other that being pushed around in a wheelchair from floor to floor and between waiting rooms. At one point, after I had my scan in the end and they confirmed that I was having a miscarriage then and there(only bits of the placenta left inside), they told me to go home.I had lost approx 2 litres of blood and tissue by them and yet they let me go. Got as far as the pharmacy , where I became incoherent and fainty and asked for help, only to be pushed again in the chair along the corridors to teh waiting room.There I was in my knees in front of the wheelchair when a nurse came up to me and said I was not seated correctly on the chair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was finally offered another pill and was passing out regularly. I managed to call my husband and he came and picked me up.He thought I had major surgery by the state I was in.They had never informed him although I was not able to do so myself,never prepared me on what to expect, did not admit me although I was having the miscarriage THEN AND THERE! and crying in pain and despair.

So sorry to hear about your experience. Please keep in touch!

Mouette Fri 07-Aug-09 09:58:46

Oh Lord Bianca777 what a terrible experience. This should not be allowed to happen. I am very sorry and hope you will recover from this awful ordeal. Also hope the campaign will mean women never have to go through that again!!

JoannaB Fri 07-Aug-09 10:24:01

Abi,

I am so sorry that you have had such dreadful experience. How did your meeting go on Tuesday?

I wanted to post you my experiences because I think it's important (as you have said) to note the good practise that is out there as well as the poor, so that learnings can be taken. I have had FAR TOO MUCH experience with this topic, unfortunately, with a really horible lengthy history of miscarriage and other issues. I'm not quite ready to share all of that, as it was only yesterday that we held the cremation service for my ds who was born asleep at 25 weeks after a TOP due to extremely poor survival prognosis (CDH). So it's all very raw at the moment still. This was my 6th pregnancy in 4 years, (Thank God I have 1 DD who is 3 yrs old).

The reasons for my losses have been varied and mostly unrelated to each other; but overall, the care I have received (mostly at the QMC in Nottingham) has been brilliant, supportive and thoughtful. I have had options offered to me and explained at every stage, I have had sensitivity of care from the nursing and midwife teams in particular, and consistency of care including home visits from the hospital team. A couple of particuarly helpful things that you could raise as 'required standard' are:

- Direct access via phone booking to an EPAC (early pregnancy assessment unit). When I had my 1st MMC, I started bleeding Sunday, went to GP's Monday, and was told to just wait until my 12 week booked scan on Wed. Well, I just couldn't wait, so phoned the hospital Tues AM, and they got me in for a scan that afternoon, in the EPAC, away from the antenatal clinic. Since then, I have always called them first when I know I am pregnant, and have had scans and blood tests at 7/8 weeks, and 10 weeks where needed, prior to booking in with the proper 'system' in the community. This is a GREAT support.

- I have been gievn options for natural miscarriage or D&C whenver appropriate, and given time to think about it. When in the end I have decided on D&C, it has been available the next day. The nursing and midwife teams on the wards and in the labour suite (where I have just had to go for the latest episode) have been consistently sensitive, profesional, and well briefed on my situation BEFORE they come into the room. Also, they have always included DH in the discussions and even the food and drink requests.

In terms of the negative side, it's fair to say that my consultant is not the worlds best communicator (but he's technically good, so I let him off mostly). The worst experiences I have had by far are with the community midwife teams afterwards, who don't follow you up well, or who have a marked lack of sensitivity (e.g. after 4th preg which was a TOPMR in November again, the community midwife said brightly "well, at least you'll be able to have a drink at Christmas" !!!!!!!)

My last 4 years have been..... well, I can't really find the words for it, I am a changed person and deeply affected. This is not the right thread for all that. BUT... the outsomes and the things that have happenned to me are no-ones fault, and as I say, in general my experiences with the NHS have been good ones. I don't take that for granted, I am extremely grateful for it, especially when I read others' poor experiences.

Sorry this turned into a monster post, I'm newish to mumsnet and posting, and I suppose it's all just come tumbling out once I got started.

So sorry for everyones loss, life is just so unfair and random. x

Mouette Fri 07-Aug-09 14:11:24

I am sorry for your losses JoannaB, it must be very hard and still raw. I too have found the care from community midwives patchy at best, I never saw the same person twice and some of them seem quite young and inexperienced. I hope things get better for you. xx

abi89campaigningforchange Sat 08-Aug-09 02:02:16

Hello everyone,

I'm so sorry to hear about your losses, and even more appauled about the care (or lack of) that you've received.

My meeting with my local hospital went ok I think. I broke down a bit but I got an apology which was important to me. The hospital admitted that everything was wrong, they've promised to try and change things, they've asked to use my letter of complaint to train their staff, especially to address extra training in communication - they also have suggested that they will give their full support to my campaign.

I'm campaigning for the basics, nothing majorly expensive, nothing particularly difficult - just the care that every woman deserves.

Again - I'll add your stories anonymously to my facebook page - I really appreciate every little bit of support that I'm receiving.

Don't forget to join my Facebook page if you can - CAMPAIGN FOR UK STANDARDS ON THE TREATMENT OF MISCARRIAGES

On 7th Sep when the PM is back in office I'll be setting up a petition to sign online. I need at least 500 signatures for it to go directly to Gordon Brown.

Spread the word Ladies!
I have started this campaign not just because of my own experiences, but because of the horrendous and traumatic experiences that many women have had to endure, and that's just not right.

I will take this as far as I can - but I need your help.

Thank you all so far - keep it going.

Abi XxXxX

emboo1982 Sat 08-Aug-09 02:46:44

Hi Abi
I think you are so brave and what your doing is wonderful.
I've only just noticed this thread and as I'm typing this my eyes are welling up, what you and alot of the other the other ladies have experienced is truly horrific.
I had two very early mc (5/6 weeks at home) and one very close call in the space of 9months(bled continuously for ten weeks)I was treated wonderfully by my gp and the staff i saw at H, but i had to wait a week for a scan to see if i was still pregnant(longest week of my life) and the department i was seen in until i stopped bleeding was also responsible for early terminations and was next to the postnatal ward, having to walk through to my app 3x a week not knowing what was happening was horrific.
Good luck with your campaign i'll be following it closely, take it easy and please look after yourself. em.x

PrimroseHall Sat 08-Aug-09 05:18:28

Such a worthwhile campaign Abi. I'm 100% behind it.

I'm so sad to read these experiences. It's been over 6 years since my miscarriage, and I felt that my hospital treatment was appalling, but some of what I've read here just takes the biscuit. Being put on a childrens ward - what on earth...? How can anyone lack such basic compassion and understanding?

I've tried to write my story out a couple of times now, but when I read it back I feel utterly humiliated and disgusted with myself over what happened and can't bring myself to post it in full.

In brief:

Although I was told to go to EPAU, they appeared to have no facilities for women having miscarriages.

I was reluctantly led to a bed and told to wait, and then was turfed out of it and told off for helping myself to it. Nobody would listen to me.

I then had to queue behind dozens of women booking in for routine scans. When I reached the front of the queue I was told I was too late as EPAU were closing in 5 minutes and I couldn't expect to be seen without an appt. How insensitive!

After pleading for an exception to be made I was allowed through to be scanned, but I had to go last because it wasn't fair to those that had appointments for routine 12 weeks scans.

Hours later I was scanned and told that my pregnancy had ended, but no information as to why except that it was possibly a missed-miscarriage.

I was not warned that I still had to pass the foetus - I was confused and thought the baby must have been tiny because of the MM and that it had come out unnoticed with the blood I'd lost.

This is the bit that hurts so much to type: The baby fell out on my bathroom floor later that evening and in a panic I flushed it down the toilet sad. I don't know what I should have done with it, but I know what I did do was very wrong. Only DP and my best friend know what I did and neither of them knew what to say when I told them.

The only advice I was given upon leaving the hospital was to cancel my MW appts. and come back in 6 weeks if I felt my body hadn't got back to normal. I haven't set foot in that hospital since and hope I never have to.

(unMN like) Hugs to all on here that have suffered a miscarriage. The emotional loss eased fairly quickly for me and I hope those of you that are in the grieving process find that peace soon. My feelings towards my hosptial 'treatment' though are still very raw but I don't think about it often. It's an absolute disgrace that such a sad and unfair process should be made worse by inadequate medical care.

Mouette Sat 08-Aug-09 17:20:53

Primrosehall that was a terrible experience. Glad you managed to get over the emotional trauma.
Abi: good work! Hope they listen. As you say you're not asking for more money, just fair, compassionate treatment. xx

bianca777 Sat 08-Aug-09 22:49:24

Hello ladies!

Thank you for your kind thoughts and I am 100% behind the campaign.As I am getting to my senses, I am now getting emotional and teraful every 10 minutes, partially because I don't know when I lost my baby and I do not have closure on this. I want to complain about the lack of advice and care in the H but I just feel sick at the thought of it. I need time to recover and I think we should fight for the sake of other women who need not go through this kind of ordeal.

xoxoxo

justbeme Sat 08-Aug-09 23:08:08

So sorry to hear of everyones losses and Abi well done on this!

I have had 6 MC's and my standard of care has varied.
I remember lying in a room in hospital being looked at down below by a female Dr, who kept yawning and who left me to sit in a pool of blood with no means of cleaning myself for ages. I felt like a piece of meat. I've been made to sit in corridor's whilst mc'ing alongside pregnant women and then there's the awful feeling of having to walk out of the scan room to face those pregnant women whilst you are crying. Then after the event, there is no support. Also to then receive your antenatal appointments in the post from the same hospital, is like a kick in the teeth.
I think a lot does have to be done by the NHS to improve their procedures, as it is a common problem. I think that's the problem though - the Doctors see it as a statistic - they don't see the pain and hurt that it causes you and that all your dreams and hopes have been shattered . sad

MintChocAddict Sat 08-Aug-09 23:17:24

Hi Abi and very sorry to all who have had traumatic experiences.
I was diagnosed with a suspected blighted ovum/embryonic pregnancy nearly a month ago.

My local EPAU is within the maternity wing of the hospital and the consulting rooms overlook the car park so was difficult to ignore the visitors arriving with new baby balloons and teddy bears etc and new parents leaving with their babies in car seats. Even DH who wouldn't normally notice things like that commented that it was far from ideal for those waiting in the EPAU. I had to attend 4 times in a fortnight for follow up bloods and final confirmation scan and it didn't get any easier.

I eventually had an ERPC 10 days after my final visit to EPAU as that was the earliest they could get me booked in. I had to attend a different hospital as it would have been an even longer wait to have the procedure carried out in my local hospital. The EPAU were extremely apologetic about the waiting list and stated that they thought it was a disgraceful length of time to have someone wait.

The hospital where I had the ERPC was a mixed sex day surgery unit and although they did their best to keep males and females fairly seperate, the recovery ward was mixed which didn't sit comfortably with me. Again the staff were apologetic about the situation.

I do feel lucky compared to the some of the experiences I've read on here that I was treated with respect and compassion by everyone in the EPAU and the hospital while having the ERPC. Everyone I encountered was professional and sympathetic. I know sadly that this is often not the case.

Good luck with your excellent campaign.

bianca777 Sun 09-Aug-09 16:45:29

Hi again,

Reading through my messages I realise I forgot to tell u some facts, like I was 11 weeks pregnant(exactly) when it happened....oh and they gave me a painkiller which can get you seriously dehydrated ( at the point when I already was,due to massive blood loss)....I just hoep this is going to make a difference.
One thing I was planning to do is forward my story to the papers.

God bless you all,

Bianca

sarrita Sun 09-Aug-09 22:15:33

I knew there was something wrong a couple of weeks ago when I stopped feeling sick.

I called my GP on Friday with bleeding and cramps and he said to call Pregnancy Support. They told me to wait 48hrs, but when I called on Saturday with more blood and cramps they said I could come in for a scan. The baby stopped growing at 7.5 weeks; I was 10.5. They couldn't have been nicer at Pregnancy Support. We decided to wait for the miscarriage to come naturally and if the wait was too long, to go in for help.

We didn't have to wait. Strong contractions started at 7 last night. I decided to go for a walk into town with my son and husband, we came home when I couldn't cope with the pain anymore. I started having contractions every minute and they were as strong as the ones I had when delivering my first child. I passed the feotus at 10 and then continued to have severe contractions, blood clots and lots of blood. At midnight we called the hospital to ask if that was normal and they said to come in.

We arrived at 1230am. No-one spoke to me. No one checked my BP or pulse. I was told to sit and wait in the corridor on a hard plastic chair. They then said that I couldn't drink anything. There were three other women sitting with me. One was slumped forward in a wheel chair. At 3 am my husband asked how long as I 'had already had a very tough day and needed to rest'. Only then did a nurse check my BP etc. By that time all the other women had left. They said I could lie down on some chairs in another room. I was examined at 4.30am and didn't get home till after 5am.

There were 5 nurses on duty and one doctor. Although they took breaks no-one had time to come and speak to me until 3am.

When I was finally examined they said that we had done the right thing coming in as my miscarriage was irregular and I did need to be checked. Everything was fine and we went home.

I am going to write and complain. I felt like I was being punished. The last think I needed after miscarrying for 5 hours and loosing lots of blood was to sit in a corridor all night with nothing to eat or drink. They told me to come in; I didn't call in begging to see a doctor. Why couldn't a nurse speak to me?

**

Abi - your story is so horrible. This is a worthy campaign, particularly given that one in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage.

I will complain and let you know what response I get. I have been discussing it with my husband today and even he feels bad at letting them treat me like that. He also felt battered and exhausted by it all; not able to fight my corner. He's been brilliant today.

Such shocking stories. I have had such mixed experience with the NHS. I am grateful that we have the service but it often seems to be so void of care.

I'll keep and eye on this discussion and your Facebook page.

sgtmajormum Mon 10-Aug-09 13:05:38

Hi there Abi
I'm very sorry to hear of your loss and traumatic experience.
I have had two miscarriages both at around eight weeks and a healthy pregnancy imbetween.
With my first miscarriage I had no idea where to turn to and was dealt with very off handedly by my (female) doctor. With my next pregnancy I started bleeding at eight weeks (onset of hysteria on my part) but my doctor had advised me of our local hospitals early pregnancy unit. They were excellent and gave me an early scan which confirmed everything was ok and was just a bit of unexplained bleeding. Although my only complaint was having to wait with "normal" pregnant ladies. I went on to have a healthy baby boy.
I have now had another eight week miscarriage about three months ago. The emotional trauma was much worse as I knew what I was losing. The EPU were again fantastic but there was nothing to be done. Everything thankfully resolved itself naturally and I have resigned it to mother nature's way & am trying to conceive again. I wish you all the best in your campaign as it would be wonderful if your agenda was common practice

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