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How did you deal with miscarriage and buriel?

(3 Posts)
Noleeen Thu 23-Jul-09 13:17:43

Hi, i'm just looking for a bit of advice from others who have been in a similar situation.

I suffered from a missed miscarriage at 12wks this day last year and i am feeling very emotional about it. I would be guessing this is normal to feel like this and do others feel the same?

Also i decided against a private buriel (the catholic religion see this as being a living baby the minute there is a heartbeat detected) as i thought because i wasn't that far on there didn't seem to be much point so i just let the hospital do the buriel, however this is also something i deeply regret. However, i went to visit the wee grave again yesterday and found that others had left plagues etc on the wee grave with for example 'baby smith' and then a wee poem on it. I'm wondering would it be strange to do something like that because it was so early on or have you/would you do this?

I had suffered 3 m/c in total last year but m/c 1 and m/c 3 were at around 5wks and natural m/c, blighted ovumn. With the 2nd i had early scans and the heartbeat was detected at 7wks

I hope this makes sense and many thanks in advance for any answers i receive x

jenhden Thu 23-Jul-09 14:26:11

i would do whatever makes you feel better - the timing etc doesn't matter its about you feeling you've done what you needed to do.

Owlingate Thu 23-Jul-09 17:28:18

Not strange at all Noleeen. It doesn't matter how long after your baby died, you can ask the priest to do a funeral mass for him/her. You can out a note on the grave or organise your own little memorial for your baby as well.

Our baby died at 17 weeks and we had a service, have made a little scrapbook etc. Our baby was cremated and we haven't buried the ashes yet. I haven't yet had the anniversary of the MC but felt very sad on the due date and will probably feel the same on the anniversary. Have a think about contacting the miscarriage association or similar organisation to see how other women have gon about marking the occasion or remembering their babies.

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