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Heartbeat at 7wks, gone at 8wk

(21 Posts)
applesaretheonlyfruit Fri 17-Jul-09 09:39:26

Hi,
I thought I had decided to wait and have a natural miscarriage, but now, having read it could take weeks, and there might be infection, I'm thinking I should just book in for a d and c. I don't know what to do.

avaj Fri 17-Jul-09 10:05:40

Hi Apples
So sorry to hear of your loss.
The midwife will probably give you the option of a medical miscarriage, where you will be given hormone tablets to bring it on quickly. I have been told that the pain can be more intense this way, so to make sure you have good pain relief.
The other option would be the surgery.
I am also waiting to miscarry naturally, but am finding the waiting too horrible,
I am now booked in to get the tablets next Wed. The weird thing is that I now feel really guilty, as if I am terrminating my pregnancy. I think I am holding on to a tiny hope that its all a mistake and the baby is still alive (although I know this can't really be true - the last scan showed no movement and no heartbeat)
My G.P has prescribed me strong painkillers and I am praying it all happens at home before I have to make any more decisions.
Sorry to ramble on!
I hope you make the right decision for you, and may it be as quick and painless as possible.
Big hugs, take care xxx

cupcakefairy Fri 17-Jul-09 10:06:43

Hi apples so sorry for your loss this is what happened to me- hb at 7 weeks (albeit too slow according to the docs) and nothing at 8wks.

I had heard that some women find out at their 12week scan that baby had died around the 7 week mark and I couldn't face possibly waiting 6 weeks. I had medical management (the pills option) I didn't regret going for that option but it was very painful and I think if it happens to me again I would opt for the ERPC. If you are unsure you should call your EPU or GP and ask for their advice; I was given so little advice at the time and got it all from MN and a widwife friend.

Take care of yourself x

cupcakefairy Fri 17-Jul-09 10:08:50

avaj I felt like I was terminating too, it's horrible isn't it. One doctor even said to me when I went in for the medical management 'so this is an unwanted pregnancy then?' I was soooo angry
But as you say, you have seen the scan...I saw on mine that the baby had begun to disintegrate but you still just wish there was a bit of hope...

Really feel for you both, the waiting is such a dark time. Get lots of chocolate in, it really does help!

mynameis Fri 17-Jul-09 10:52:30

Hi so sorry to hear of your loss. This is so fresh for me as lost my baby this week at 8weeks after having a 7 week scan that showed baby's heart was beating slowly.

I opted for medical management and after having my first pill on Wednesday I came home and miscarried.

I still had to go back yesterday for a scan.

Feel very lost and down at the moment and frightened to try again as this was my 2nd miscarriage in 4 months.

thefatladyscreams Fri 17-Jul-09 14:06:48

apples

So sorry to hear this (and everyone else in the same position). I should be 10 weeks today but started bleeding yesterday and went to the Early Pregnancy Unit today and was told the baby died at 7 weeks.

I've opted to let nature talk its course but share your worries. I guess we just take it day by day. The nurse told me I could change my mind at any stage - so I've decided to go with my gut whilst I let the news sink in. sad

applesaretheonlyfruit Fri 17-Jul-09 15:29:28

Hi everyone, thanks for your replies. It is a comfort to know that there are others out there who have the same problems.

I have read up on the various options and rang St Georges in Tooting and am booked in for the ERPC on Monday. In a way I'm glad it has been arranged so quickly. The midwife did say that some people don't find out the baby has gone until the 12 week scan, even when it died at 6 -7 weeks. I don't want to wait for weeks until my body gets around to realising there's a problem.

Like thefatladyscreams, I was adamant (only three days ago, so shows feeble mindset) that I would wait for nature to take its course. But now I think nature can sometimes be a bit stupid.

I don't like still feeling pregnant, but knowing it is over.

I'm sorry mynameis that you have had two mc in a row. Do you have any dc?

avaj, I have also read that the pill strategy is quite painful and I have a ds7, now off school and my beautiful dd 21-months to look after, so I don't fancy debilitating cramps, etc, and cannot simply go to bed (not that I would want to, because staying busy is easier). This is my second mc, as I had one before dd was born. This time around it is definitely a bit easier with a small toddler in my arms.

Definitely want to try again asap. Am 40 now and don't want to miss the boat!

cupcakefairy Fri 17-Jul-09 16:12:32

apples it is so cruel that your body still feels pregnant for a while after mc. It was such a relief to me when my boobs went back to normal about 2 weeks after the mc.
Glad you have the ERPC booked for so soon. I think it probably is the best option for someone who already has dc, the medical management is really exhausting. Hope it goes as ok as can be on Monday.

thefatladyscreams Fri 17-Jul-09 18:36:20

"apples" - well less than 1 day and I'm already questioning letting nature take its course. Been in very bad pain this afternoon - so getting it all over with is looking more attractive..... I'm also 40 (this was my first pregnancy) so I just want to try and conceive again but dreading the rollercoaster.

"mynameis" - 2 m/c in 4 months sounds so tough. Wish I could say something to give you strength. Hope you're taking really good care of yourself.

"cupcake" - what a terrible way to be treated. One decent thing today was that all the staff I met were fantastic - they couldn't have handled things more professionally and empathetically. Sorry you met some a pr*t of a doctor. I hope he learnt his lesson angry.

"avaj" - will think of you on Wednesday. Hope it goes as well at it can....

thefatladyscreams Fri 17-Jul-09 18:38:29

Well I clearly can't read instructions! asterisks, asterisks, asterisks - not inverted commas. Duhhh

applesaretheonlyfruit Fri 17-Jul-09 22:18:36

Hi thefatladyscreams, must be so disappointing when its your first. My ds7 was a surprise and a first pregnancy so I was lucky not to have the rude shock of an mc first time around. But you clearly have eggs in there and there is evidence that you are more fertile after an mc, so next time, and it could be in a few months, you could be pregnant again.

I am also keen to get it over with now so that things go back to normal so that I ovulate again. Trying to get and keep a pregnancy healthy until you are holding a baby is always a rollercoaster, whatever your age. So don't dread it, because it is so worth it in the end.

There are so many things we can't control. Because I was so paranoid with dd after my first miscarriage, I had private scans twice during the pregnancy in Harley Street with an eminent specialist. Both times he went over my baby with a fine tooth comb and concluded, as far as he was able, that she was perfect. Then, of course, he added the rider that no expert could "see" a multitude of problems in the womb - for example, autism, etc. So we get what we get. Deeply irritating for control freaks like me... and that is part of the rollercoaster if we manage to get past 12 weeks. But we have company on Mumsnet for all these journeys.

applesaretheonlyfruit Fri 17-Jul-09 23:12:58

avaj, I have just read your other thread. That is so so difficult. 12 weeks seems like the magic line and your baby would have looked beautiful and baby-like, of course you would have showed people. I hope the mc is not too distressing - your options are still open. Take care.

applesaretheonlyfruit Sun 19-Jul-09 16:44:04

I'm thinking I should wash my hair because of the op tomorrow. But I really can't be bothered.

thefatladyscreams Sun 19-Jul-09 17:18:17

apples - don't bother unless you change your mind.

Mind you, I found myself shaving my legs before going to the EPAU last week. As if it made any difference.... but at least it was something under my control.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

applesaretheonlyfruit Wed 22-Jul-09 11:54:54

Hi, well thought I should let you know that I did wash my hair,.. but I didn't shave legs, because I figured I wouldn't be awake to be embarrassed.

Had the ERPC on Monday and glad I did. Had a scan beforehand to make absolutely sure the baby was gone (I was suddenly panicking at the hospital that I might be killing a live baby and that the first sonographer had made a mistake). And it was still there, with no hb and not showing any signing of leaving.

I think this was the best option for me.

thefatladyscreams Wed 22-Jul-09 12:12:13

Apples

Just to send you loads of support. It is just horrible but this site shows you are not alone. I'm sure it will be two steps forward and one back for a while. Hope you start to heal quickly.

Take care.

avaj Wed 22-Jul-09 13:15:28

Hey Apples
Sending you big hugs. I'm glad that part is over for you. Make sure you get lots of love and support over the next few weeks. I hope things start to feel a bit better for you soon. xxx

Noleeen Thu 23-Jul-09 15:52:27

Hi, i know exactly how you feel. I went through the exactl same thing this time last year. In total i suffered 3 m/c's last year, 1 & 3 were at around 5wks, natural m/c, possibly blighted ovumn. However with the 2nd i had an early scan at 7wks where they detected the heartbeat but when i went back for my 12wk scan i was told the baby only measured 8wks and there was no longer a heartbeat. I opted for d&c as i had no miscarriage symptons at all and didn't know how long it was going to take if i went the natural route. Like you i found it so hard to imagine that my baby was no longer living inside me. 1year on and i am still finding this very hard to deal with, i'm just not sure if i dealt with my grief properly to begin with

applesaretheonlyfruit Fri 24-Jul-09 15:02:20

Hi Noleen, I 'm sorry you have had such a difficult time. Three mc's is so sad. Did you decide to have a rest from ttc since then?
The only way I can deal with this is by thinking of trying again..

Den26 Mon 27-Jul-09 23:13:45

Hi All, it is so reassuring to hear there are others going through similar experiences. I had my 12 week scan earlier this month to be told i lost the baby at 8.5 weeks despite seeing a strong heartbeat at 7.2weeks - i think that has made it worse having seen my baby.

I opted for an ERPC as it had already been 4 weeks and no sign of MC, i still felt pregnant. The procedure itself didn't take long although it was a long day of waiting and not as much support as i had expected.

Its three weeks now since the op and i feel that already things are getting better to deal with. I was signed off of work for a week to help me get myself sorted. It is still very raw seeing others who are pregnant but hopefully this will get easier too.

My thoughts go out to all of you at this difficult time

applesaretheonlyfruit Fri 14-Aug-09 12:33:17

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to say thank you for your support. Recently ovulated (I think!) and am on the 2week wait to see if anything happens. AF due next Friday. I will not test early, I will not test early, repeated 100 times.

I hope you are feeling better Den26, if you feel like trying again there are threads under conception where we huddle together after mc/mmcs and think about the next pregnancy..

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