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I am waiting to miscarry - for the second time in a row

(63 Posts)
luckywinner Thu 16-Jul-09 16:26:52

I am pregnant again straight after a mc on 1st May. Had an early scan two weeks ago which put me at 5-6 weeks as was unsure of my dates. Saw a strong heartbeat and left feeling happy and reassured.

I had another one today and it wasn't so good. The baby had grown in line with dates but it had a really weak heartbeat. Even I could see the difference. The scan lady said usually in situations like this a miscarriage happens.

I am so sad. I can't believe I am having another miscarriage. And even if it is still there next week then surely a weak heartbeat is not good news with regards to the health of the baby.

I don't know really know why I am posting this. I know there is nothing to say. I am just sad. Sad, sad, sad.

luckywinner Thu 16-Jul-09 17:22:08

Just bumping this. Has anyone experienced normal growth but v slow heartbeat for it to all be ok in the end?

coxy3005 Thu 16-Jul-09 21:44:22

Hi, so sorry your going through this. I don't have any experience with heartbeats so can't give you any advice but didn't want to ignore you! I have however had 2 m/c's so know exactly how sad you feel I hope someone gets back to you with their experiences good or bad as it really does help to know there are women out there thinking and feeling the same as you.

Big hugs coxy x

CramItUpYourCramHole Thu 16-Jul-09 21:49:05

oh LW, hugs to you.

please look after yourself,

I had 2 m/c and now I have 2 children.

it's just horrible nature. nothing is as scary and unpredictable as pregnancy

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

thefatladyscreams Thu 16-Jul-09 22:11:04

Sorry no knowledge re the strength of the heartbeat. So sorry you are going through this. It sounds really tough but I guess you won't know until your next scan. Fingers crossed for you and take care of yourself.

avaj Fri 17-Jul-09 09:37:33

Oh poor you, what a horrible situation.
I dont have any advice on weak heartbeats , but fingers crossed for you all.
I am also waiting to misscarry, but my baby had no heartbeat on the scan I had on Mon. I should be nearly 18 weeks, but the baby is smaller than that.
It is just such an awful situation, the waiting is the worst.
I hope you are get lots of support from your family.
Take care xxx

luckywinner Fri 17-Jul-09 11:07:17

Oh avaj, that's just horrible for you. I am so sorry to hear that. I hope you being well looked after wherever you are receiving your medical care.

I will be thinking of you.

This sounds v unreasonable but I hate being pregnant. It is too stressful and painful. I already have 2 dc but this will be my 3rd mc if it comes to that and I just can't face it again.

iggypiggy Mon 20-Jul-09 12:18:10

luckywinner I had a MC in April following a scan at 7 weeks where the baby had a weak heartbeat. The doctor told me that there was a small chance that it would be ok, but that it was likely that i would miscarry.

Being told there is a small chance makes you cling on to that hope - and i really really hope that you are one of the ones where the heartbeat speeds up and everything is ok.

I just wanted to post to say I know how horrible the waiting for the next scan is - and that I had exactly the same thoughts as you.

Fingers crossed for you xx

luckywinner Tue 21-Jul-09 18:30:08

Iggypiggy can I ask you, did you find out at the next scan? And did you mc naturally or did you have to do it medically? I am trying to prepare myself for what could be a horrible Thursday (that's when the next scan is). I thought I had resigned myself to the fact that it was all over and all just a matter of time but today I just feel so hopeful. It is almost cruel.

chubbymummy Tue 21-Jul-09 22:02:47

Luckywinner I've got my fingers crossed for you. My situation is a bit different from yours. I had a missed miscarriage in October at about 9 weeks and had to have an ERPC. I was delighted when I finally discovered I was pregnant again a few weeks ago. I went for an early scan and was told that the baby was only measuring 4 weeks 3 days (instead of 6 weeks 3 days). I know my dates aren't wrong and since I fell ill I can be sure that there's no posssibility I concieved later than I thought. I had to return last Friday for a repete scan to confirm that the baby had died but when I got there the scan showed that the baby had grown to 5 weeks 6 days (10 days growth in a week). The sonographer told me that although this may seem like a positive sign it isn't. She said that there is no heartbeat and she's almost certain that the baby had only grown because my hormones had been feeding it. I said that surely it was possible everything could be okay because sometimes the heartbeat couldn't be seen until 6 weeks?(ignoring the fact it should have been measuring 7 weeks 3 days and a heartbeat should have beeen clearly visable). She told me that there is always a faint possibility but that it didn't look likely since she should have been able to get a heartbeat after veiwing a yolk sac the weeek before. I now have to wait in limbo until this Friday when I will go for another scan to confirm. I know that she's telling me this pregnancy will not progress but I am desperatly clinging onto the tiny bit of hope that she could be wrong. Last week I had accepted that it was over and was waiting to miscarry but when the scan revealed that the baby had grown suddenly I wasn't so sure. My head is a total mess and getting through this week is a challenge in itself.

iggypiggy Wed 22-Jul-09 09:22:08

luckywinner You should always have hope - I did, even though I also kind of knew I was going to MC.

I had my second scan 8 days after the first one - so was supposed to be 8 + 4 by then - and there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing. So the Dr told me that I would probably MC naturally by the weekend (it was a Tuesday) - but he offered me some pills to take if I wanted to speed it up. I wasn't offered EPRC - he said the baby was too small that it wouldn't be nescessary. I actually started a small amount of bleeding from the day after the scan (kind of my mind allowing my body to let go? Or coincidence?!) This got worse up until the Sunday when I MC naturally. I then bled for almost exactly a week after that.

I didn't need the pills.

Will try to find my posts about it for you x

I have everything crossed for a good outcome for you - but I totally understrand the need to read as much as you can and be prepared for the worst. x

iggypiggy Wed 22-Jul-09 09:25:41

here is a thread I wrote at the time here

luckywinner Wed 22-Jul-09 09:44:22

Thanks Iggypiggy, that thread was really helpful. I keep reading about ashermans syndrome and it has been putting me off an erpc but I really don't think I can cope with waiting to miscarry and because I am at least 8 weeks I don't want to do it medically as I don't think I can face seeing the baby.

I am so confused as the baby has grown the right amount for my dates and I still feel sick, although no way as much as I did with my other 2 dc.

Chubbymummy I am so sorry to hear you are waiting to hear too. It is so hard. I will be thinking of you on Friday. Will you let us know how you get on?

I just want to know either way. The waiting is hideous. Thanks for your messages. It is so nice to know I am not on my own.

iggypiggy Wed 22-Jul-09 09:52:52

luckywinner for what it's worth I would have picked erpc if I had been given the option. There are so many stories of people getting PG straight after them - most people seem to find them ok and at least you don't have to go through the waiting/ seeing things bit. I was terrified of what i might see - so I didn't look sad

Mine had not grown - so I still have hope for you as yours has xx

chubbymummy Wed 22-Jul-09 19:05:49

Luckywinner - just wanted to say good luck for tomorrow, I'll be thinking of you! x

HeadFairy Wed 22-Jul-09 19:08:23

So sorry this has happened luckywinner... I can't help with advice about the weak heart rate, but I did have two mcs back to back and I'm now 17 weeks pg having got pg the next cycle after my last mc so don't despair that this means anything sinister.

starkadder Thu 23-Jul-09 06:43:52

HI guys - me too. After a very up and down 3 days (scan on Monday, showing baby of 4-5 weeks plus huge ovarian cyst. Doctor said he thorught I had miscarried.

HCG tests on Tues confirmed hormone levels were what they should be for 4-5 weeks, plus with my long and irregular cycle, this was very possible - felt better.

Wed morning, started bleeding, went back to doc for scan, he said he couldn't see baby at all and that it had already miscarried and broken down, sent me to hospital for D&C.

Got to hospital where they DID see the baby and said it was possible everything would still be OK - but that it was very likely that I would miscarry because the yolk sac they could see was irregular in shape.

A little more bleeding this morning and am just waiting now.

This is my third MC but I did have a lovely healthy baby (who is standing next to me now, shouting his head off about a picture of a combine harvester) after the first 2. So, although I'm very sad, I am not as heartbroken as I was the first 2 times.

Also all made more difficult by the fact that we live in Spain and are flying back to the UK on Friday for a wedding. Can't miss it as is family wedding. Will I be miscarrying as we fly??? Too horrible to contemplate.

Anyway, guys - am in same boat and will be thinking of you too.

chubbymummy Thu 23-Jul-09 13:44:14

How did you get on today Luckywinner?

luckywinner Thu 23-Jul-09 19:51:00

Just thought I would let you all know that my news is not good news I am afraid. My baby died between last thursday and this thursday. They saw a cyst on the umbilical cord and think maybe that's what caused it.

I am going in tomorrow to have an erpc. I just couldn't face waiting however many weeks for it to happen, which happened to me last time.

I am sad, but also relieved. Relieved that I didn't have to make any horrible decisions. Thank you all for your lovely words on this thread.

Starkadder I am so sorry to hear you are going through similar. This will also be my third mc, although I have two beautiful dc which I agree can sometimes can make it easier. I am definitely finding comfort in spending time with them. What a nightmare you have to fly. I also missed a family wedding last weekend because of all this. Don't feel bad if you have to take some time for yourself. Your family will understand.

I will be thinking of you.

iggypiggy Fri 24-Jul-09 10:49:04

luckywinner I'm so sorry to hear it was bad news for you sad I'm sure an erpc is the best thing - the waiting really is the worst bit and you put your life completely on hold in panic that it might happen at anytime.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow - suggest you have large glass of something tonight xxx

Spidermama Fri 24-Jul-09 10:52:24

Hi there Luckywinner.

I'm so sorry about your news. I've lost two to MC and it's really, really tough.

I hope it goes well tomorrow and you get some relief. You might want to consider asking them to give you the sac if they find it so you can do a proper burial and letting go. I found this enormously helpful, though of course it might not be for you.

All the best and give yourself plenty of time to grieve. xx

Spidermama Fri 24-Jul-09 10:53:20

Sorry the erpc was today.

I hope it went well.

thefatladyscreams Fri 24-Jul-09 14:22:52

Lucky

So sorry to hear the outcome. It's so hard not to cling onto that small glimmer of hope.

I've been thinking of you today and hope you're back at home soon with your DCs to give you a cuddle.

Take good care of yourself.

Chubbymummy - so sorry you are going through this as well.

chubbymummy Fri 24-Jul-09 20:38:35

Lucky sorry things didn't work out for you. My news was no better either, my ERPC is scheduled for Monday. x

luckywinner Sat 25-Jul-09 13:28:37

Chubbymummy I am so sorry to hear you too.
I had my erpc yesterday. It was relatively straight forward and quick. I feel vvvv drowsy today but I have v low blood pressure which I think does not help. My doctor told me to consider myself out of action for 72 hours so make sure you have someone to look after you.

Spidermama thanks for your lovely message. This is my third mc and I am seriously considering calling time on this ttc business. I have 2 beautiful dc and maybe I should be making the most of them. And you are right about having time to grieve. I am really glad you put that as I am absolutely hopeless at being kind to myself and it is really good to be told it.

Today I was thinking, what would I do without Mumsnet. I know lots of people say some horrible things about it but I really don't think I would find this kind of support anywhere else. So thank you to everyone on this thread. You really have made a difference to what I am going through right now.

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