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Expecting a miscarriage

(6 Posts)
peanuthead Tue 07-Jul-09 14:41:52

Have posted already on conception but somehow this topic feels more likely...

Basically I'm nearly 41, had IVF back in April where they got NO eggs at all and told us our only hope is with a donor. So they've found us a donor and we're all ready to go in sept but I've just got a natural BFP - am 5+1 days.

So really I should be over the moon but I'm convinced my egg quality isn't up to staying the course and that I will either miscarry in the next few days/weeks or get to the 7 week scan (which I have yet to persuade my Dr that I need and also am too superstitious to even go and see her) and find a blighted ovum.

I jsut can't see how I can have no eggs at all 3 cycles ago with drugs and then get one that's good enough to stick.

It's so horrible - I'm also terrified that it will stick just until we have to tell the clinic and so lose the donor and then I lose it so have nothing. Think that will be at about 8 weks so will at least know if there's a heartbeat.

I already have on e DD conceived by IUI who's not even 2 so I suppose it is possible, but keep googling "blightred ovum" and chemical pregnancy obsessively. hmm

HAve had a bit of queasiness, but lots of cramps and last night spotting which has gone but have a bearing down feeling today which is ominous. Last time my boobs were agony - this time nothing - but then they are twice the size they used to be after BFing so maybe don't need to swell up. I know it's far too early for symptoms really.

In a way i wish it hadn't happened as I was just starting to come to terms with all teh issues around donoe eggs. Now may have to also have to come to terms with a miscarriage - another emotional blow I could do without.

DOn't really know what I'm asking - just help!!!

gigglewitch Tue 07-Jul-09 14:44:08

hugs. hang in there, been somewhere close, just look after yourself and rest if you can smile

SesHasFinallyBecomeAMum Tue 07-Jul-09 16:01:35

The waiting and not knowing is so difficult but the odds are in your favour for this pregnancy. Try and be easy on yourself.
Sending you blatant hugs and every good wish for a v happy outcome.

Joolsiam Tue 07-Jul-09 16:08:30

Everything crossed for you ...

If you can get an early scan at 8 weeks (or go private) and see a heartbeat, then you have a very good chance of things being OK - or maybe you could talk the donor into waiting till 12 weeks ?

I know what it is like - spending early pregnancy expecting the worst...

Congratulations on your surprise BFP

luckywinner Tue 07-Jul-09 16:11:24

Poor you it is a very stressful time for you. Will you be able to have an early scan?

If it makes you feel any better, I had absolutely no sore boobs with my second pregnancy and am now about 1 week ahead of you and have no sore boobs at all. Am a tiny bit tired and a little bit sick but nothing much.

I had a mc in May and this pregnancy has been stressful. Someone said to me though every pregnancy/egg is different and in no way related.

I really hope this all works out for you. Will keep my fingers crossed.

peanuthead Wed 08-Jul-09 13:12:02

Thanks everyone for your support.

I suppose I know this is absolutely our last chance which makes it just so desperate. I'd moreorless come to terms with having to have a donor but it's still something that changes your entire life and that of the baby.

DH and I both have said that even if I lose it we'll both still be pleased that we did actually manage to conceive naturally even if it was only once and even if doesn't stick. We're not such a failure as a couple after all.

Had some red blood last night when I wiped, poked around and there was a fair bit more and I knew that was it so cried my eyes out and drank half a bottle of wine but by the time DH got back at midnight it had stopped.

Today exhausted again and queasy. It's such a rollercoaster.

If I don't lose it by next week will go to the DR and try to get a 7 week scan at the EPU - no point in doing anything before then as until they see a heartbeat they know no more than i do. That's about a 10 day wait.... sigh.

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