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m/c at 5 weeks, feeling devastated, I have some questions.............

(7 Posts)
OrangeKnickers Mon 22-Jun-09 13:56:58

like why??

I felt pg almost as soon as I was; tired, spotty and hormonal. So I did a test which was positive. Five days after my AF due date I had painful cramps then started bleeding, and then had a m/c.

I wondered if any one could give me some advice?

Should I tell my doctor?
Do you think it might have been a 'chemical pregnancy'?
Should we start ttc as soon as possible or is it best to wait a bit?

I have a ds and that pregnancy was fine, so I was unprepared for this. My dh had flu when we were ttc, then I had a bout of dodgy tummy. Could these things have affected it?

As far as I know there isn't really a way to tell what has gone wrong. Is that still the case?

I feel 'lucky' that is happened early on. But it would make me feel better if I could feel there were things I could do to improve the chances next time.

I am really upset, I need to focus on the positive things but finding it hard not to obsess about it happening again.

apologies for self-asorbed posting. sad

ChoChoSan Mon 22-Jun-09 14:16:53

Hi Orange Knickers,

Sorry for your loss, and you are quite entitled to 'self-absorbed' posting - that is what we are here for!

I would certainly recommend that you tell your GP about your m/c - the NHS will only investigate the reasons behind your miscarriages once it has happened 3 times, and although it is extremely unlikely that this will be the case for you, at least there will be a record of this loss.

This could have been a so-called 'chemical pregnancy', though in my opinion a pregnancy is a pregnancy, and I don't see any value in attaching titles like that.

Some GPs advise waiting for one or two periods before ttc again, but from what I have read, that just makes life easier for them when they want to date your next pregnancy!

After my first m/c DP and I really went for it, and got pregnant immediately, with no period in between. This was a major coup, because my first pregnancy was due to fertility treatment, and prior to that I had been TTC for 3 years! I say...go for it - I now believe in the old wives tale that one is 'super fertile' after m/c.

For me, after my first m/c, it was the determination to get up the duff again immediately that really helped me to get over the m/c, though I don't know how I would have felt if we had failed.

I'm sure that you have probably googled to look for reasons why...and found that there was probably a very good reason such as an unviable embryo etc, and that it is all very common, but that won't tell you exactly what happened in your case.

Just do your best to follow all of the common sense advice and take your folic acid. Be assured that you are doing everything you can, and that most likely next time you get pregnant, everything will be fine...and yes...that is the hard part!!

Take care

coxy3005 Mon 22-Jun-09 14:19:06

Hi Orangeknickers,

I know how you feel, I had my second m/c about 5 weeks ago now, the first one I had at 8 weeks and this one was at 12 weeks and found out at the 12 week dating scan

I think you should tell your doctor as they need to make sure that everything has come away, as it was quite early on I'm sure it would have done and they will probably tell you to do another preg test which should show negative.

As for when to ttc that is completely up to you both, they say its best to wait for your next AF because then you can be sure of dates but on the other hand they do say that you will be more fertile than usual after an m/c!

The flu and the dodgy tummy could have been a factor but you will never know, I don't want to scare you but as far as I know there is nothing you can do to improve your chances next time, I thought the same after the first m/c and with the second pregnancy I went totally paranoid, I ate lots of greens didn't drink too much caffine I even let my roots grow through as I was too scared to get my hair coloured but it still happened!

On the bright side you've already got a ds so there shouldn't be a problem with it happening again!

Give yourself time to greive and don't apologise for being self absorbed, we have every right to be self absorbed at this horrible horrible time.

Hope you start to feel better soon!

Coxy x

giraffesCantRunA10k Mon 22-Jun-09 14:24:22

So sorry to hear of your loss x

Scorps Mon 22-Jun-09 14:25:18

Orangeknickers, sorry for your loss sad

Sometimes the egg isn't that great in the first place, or implants wrongly, or that particular fertilised egg had wrong chromosomes etc. Nothing you have done would have caused it, i promise.

I had a mc at 5 weeks in Feb. We ttc again straight away; mine was like yours, early, no medical management.

I made sure i took my folic acid daily and ate well and exercised to make my body a happy place for next time. I'm now 13 weeks .

Keep your chin up and rest, you should be able to get an early NHS scan next time to put your mind at rest. Also i tested quite late this time just so i could almost ignore it iyswim. DH stayed with me for the day (5+3 weeks)that i mcd last time. once i got past that i got better each day

JessiLynn Mon 22-Jun-09 14:34:05

I'm so sorry, OrangeKnickers. It's such an awful time, I know.

I think you should at least call and speak to your doctor. My m/c was early, too, 8 wks, and I didn't call the doctor--everything I read said that before 12 or 14 weeks, the body should have no problem expelling everything naturally, and that, unless there were signs of infection or profuse bleeding, there wasn't any medical reason to see the doctor. In hindsight, I wish I had talked to the doctor, if for no other reason than to have some reassurance that what was happening was "normal".

No one can tell you why this is happening to you, with this particular pregnancy, and unless you have an underlying medical condition, the medical community considers up to 3 m/cs "bad luck."

As to ttc, some people recommend waiting at least one cycle, mainly for dating purposes. Others suggest waiting until you've had a negative pregnancy test (it takes some time for all those hormones to leave your body) so you know for sure that you have fallen pregnant again when you get another positive. Whatever you choose, please make sure you're emotionally ready. You're going through a big ordeal, and it may take some time for you to feel ready again.

Please take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself.

((((((hugs)))))))

Jessi

OrangeKnickers Tue 23-Jun-09 17:04:16

Thank you for your extremely kind replies. I thought I replied yesterday - I wasn't ignoring the responses. They have helped me get things in perspective.

thank you again for taking the time to post such thoughtful messages. smile

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