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I can't cope

(13 Posts)
pecanpie Tue 10-Feb-09 09:31:32

Scan on Weds showed no heartbeat - baby died at 8.5 weeks. ERPC on Friday. Came back to work yesterday because can't afford to take time off and risk losing my job. This is my 2nd MC in 4 months and I took a week off last time. I have been in floods of tears since my parents headed back home (I live in London, they live in Manchester)and I don't think I'm doing myself any favours at work this week - not getting much done apart from looking miserable. I don't know what to do.

Wheelybug Tue 10-Feb-09 09:39:07

Sorry to hear of your losses. Sounds like you need to take some time out and to grieve and gather your strength.

Can't you get sick leave ? Would it really risk your job ? Is there somebody sympathetic you can talk to at work ?? Could you work from home ?

Dropdeadfred Tue 10-Feb-09 09:47:08


you should be able to go home and take some leave. it's awful that you feel forced to go to work!
Speak to your boss.
i'm so sorry for your loss.

pecanpie Tue 10-Feb-09 09:53:12

Only sympathetic person at work has already been unable to speak because she doesn't have the time (I tried to speak to her before I came back to work, Sick leave doesn't go down well with my boss, especially when it's not something she would consider sickness. I only work part time (have 1dd) and I don't know how they would feel about me taking more time out where I'm not available to meet with people in the office. I found out yesterday that they've already made cuts in another department on people who work on the same clients as me - the person who left was also part time so I am feeling the pressure to at least be here. If I lose my job we won't be able to afford to have another baby, nevermind the risk of another mc. I'm really sorry to moan, I know everyone here isn't exactly having an easy time of it.

pecanpie Tue 10-Feb-09 09:53:54

thanks for the link dropdeadfred

Dropdeadfred Tue 10-Feb-09 09:56:48 are entitled to sick leave and it cannot be held against you. if necessary link that page in an email to your boss and explain that you NEED to go home.

Wheelybug Tue 10-Feb-09 10:08:23

You really should be able to take sick leave for something like this. However, you probably don't want the extra worry of worrying about your job either.

How much more have you got to be in this week if you work part time ? Can you shift your hours around so you could take a couple of days off today and tomorrow and go in at the end of the week ?

pecanpie Tue 10-Feb-09 10:42:55

I have to be in today and tomorrow and have childcare which is fixed for those days. I might try to get through today and then work from home from tomorrow if I can.

Thanks for your support.

Dropdeadfred Tue 10-Feb-09 10:52:12

Pecan..I know what you're going through, do take car of yourself...

Daynee Tue 10-Feb-09 12:59:27

Pecanpie - I feel your frustration (and misery). I recently had my 3rd mc and only took one day off from work because the last 2 I had taken 4 days each. I work full time as a teacher plus am taking classes for my master's. People tell me it's good to keep busy but really all I want to do is be at home on the couch with a good book or movie! I am struggling to get thru most days but I try to find some happy moments here and there and make the best out of it. I leave as early as I can and go home to my peace and quiet. I don't know how I do it some days. I have a friend here who shares similar experiences with me so she helps me out.
Be thankful your job is only part time and just try to get thru the days and then fully enjoy your days off! And if worst comes to worst, is there any way you dp could help you out if you decided to just quit?

I hope everything works out. Keep us posted. XOXO

Hangingbellyofbabylon Tue 10-Feb-09 14:40:45

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news Pecan, and can only imagine how in this climate all the worry about work security adds to it all. You deserve time off to recover emotionally and physically. I'm thinking of you and hoping it goes as well as it can on Friday. xx

pecanpie Tue 10-Feb-09 18:36:00

I ended up speaking to someone at work about it (although my boss knew..but he's a single man..) and it made things tons better. I'm starting to feel silly about being so down this morning.

Daynee- I wish I could quit work but we have too many bills to pay! Really sorry to hear about your MCs too.

giraffescantdancethetango Tue 10-Feb-09 22:22:04

Glad speaking to someone helped.

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