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mmc in aug, now chemical pregnancy, any advice or pos stories?

(7 Posts)
wook Sun 30-Nov-08 11:18:23

Hi all, I have a ds aged 3, then thsi aug a mmc at 9 weeks and now this week what I assume is a chemical pregnancy- pos tests on wed, thur, fri, neg yesterday, period today. Damn clearblue!! only three days late so would never have known if hadn't been so keen to test. Even told friends on Thurs as really believed this was going to happen- a proper cross on two tests on thurs. So, was not to be (again). I'm 34, dh is 48. I'll see GP on Mon hopefully and see if he has any advice but in the meantime, has anyone else had this experience and can you tell me what advice you got and also please please share stories of hope with me to cheer me up?

VJay Sun 30-Nov-08 11:42:43

Hi wook sorry about your mc's, I had one in June, at 9 weeks (I though I was 11 weeks), then one 6 weeks ago at 7 weeks. My first af has been and gone and we are now ttc again. It is pants but the good thing is you've got ds so you know you can have them. I went to the docs after my last mc and because I've got ds (6 years old), they said I'd probably been very unlucky twice! But there is nothing they can do until you've had 3 mc's. Good luck wook xxsmile

AuntyFlo Thu 11-Dec-08 20:52:20

You're not the only one I promise.
I had an mmc in July and had a chemical mc last month so I know how this must feel.
Hospital people say it's bad luck as my insides look normal. My mind is working overtime though as to have two fails in a short space of time is worrying. What makes it worse is I have a friend who is due in Feb 2009 when I would have been and it's so difficult being around her seeing this big bump - a reminder of what you don't have. I haven't discussed this with her and haven't told her about my 2nd mishap as I know this would affect her.
I've found these times to be very lonely because no matter how many family members and my partner are there emotionally, they've not been through it and I don't have any friends who've been through the same.
It took all my strength in the waiting room at the EPC last month not to say to the other women waiting,"Anyone need to talk about their experience? Coz I do!".
Take care and best wishes to you all.

daisy5 Sun 14-Dec-08 21:33:18

Yes, I had a chemical pregnancy last Nov and a mmc in June this year. Am now 15 weeks pregnant and was just admiring my bump.

As you say, had you not tested you would have thought it was a late period, and would then have only thought you had had the mmc. My gynacologist said in medical terms it wasn't worth considering the chemical preg, as there are so many 'logistical' reasons why it might happen and it was highly likely at that stage that it may have had nothing to do with the quality of the egg/sperm. I am almost 42 and my partner is 48 so this is what I was most concerned about. I know that the media have started going on about the quality of mens sperm (vis a vis age) but from what I read, the women's egg quality is far more important as there is just one of them. Maybe poor sperm don't swim as fast (I am not sure) but there are millions of them and just one (or two) eggs.

It is emotionally stressful, and the last year has been tough on me but I knew I just had to get my head in the best possible place and just keep going. Thankfully, all looks good for me. I wish you the best too. 34 is still young in many people's books.

JodieO Sun 14-Dec-08 21:37:08

Imo you still had a mc, chemical pregnancy sounds so wrong, like it never was a pregnancy. I believe that the soul is there from conception. You still were pregnant for those few days and must have had the thoughts of a baby, etc. I've had 5 mc's and I don't think it matters how early they are, it's about loss and accepting what happened and grieving as well.

I was 30 last month. I had my first when dd ( now almost 7) was 3 months old.

daisy5 Mon 15-Dec-08 19:52:10

I totally agree jodieO - I knew I was pregnant for three weeks and I saw it's whole life - I got so excited and it was very 'real' for me. The loss was horrible.

I just meant from a medical perspective my doctor didn't seem to think that chemical pregnancies have as much significance on your ability to conceive again.

HairyToe Thu 18-Dec-08 19:20:09

Hi me too only the other way around. I have two dds 5 and 3. Had chemical pregnancy (two positives followed a few days later by 'period') in March, then mmc (found at 12 wk scan, baby dies at 7weeks) in June. Now 14 weeks pregnant - so far so good.

Think its just bad luck twice. Good luck for trying again x

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