MMC, is this normal & inadequate NHS

[mayl]

I am not sure if this is just a rant but I feel better writing this down.

I was almost 12 wks and started spotting, had my scan booked for Weds but felt things were not right. (I have had a mc at 7 wks before and was very aware of what few pregnancy symptoms I had and these had totally gone).

NHS totally useless when called and just told me to rest. No other advice to call if I was concerned, or if things progressed etc.

Booked a private scan myself for yesterday and this confirmed baby died at 8ish wks, placenta was starting to collapse and to expect mc. Within a few hours of getting home there was intense pain coming in waves and so much blood etc I still can't quite believe it. Distinctly felt 'baby' coming out. I have my routine NHS dating scan on Weds which I will keep to see if everything has come away.

Feel very let down by the so called health professionals and that I have coped with this all alone with no advice or reassurance of what is normal.

I have two children and have had a mc before so am not a 'novice' and still the actual process of the MMC confirmation and then mc has shocked me emotionally and physically. What if this was my first pregnancy. I think it is disgusting that this could have happened to somebody on their first pregnancy without any support or advice over what might happen and what they needed to do afterwards.

Today only spotting but very tender tummy, feels almost bruised and I don't know if this is normal.

Sorry this isn't very constructive and not very articulate but I feel so angry.

[morningpaper]

So sorry for your loss.

Have you spoken to your midwife or GP since the mc started? Please make sure that you get properly looked after.

I'm not sure that NHS Direct CAN really do a lot for a woman in her first trimester who just feels that things 'aren't right', but I can understand that you feel so let down.

[barbie1]

mayl so sorry for your loss hun, i too had a bad experience after first pregnancy ended in mmc at 12 weeks, why not look at the emmsys angels post as were are all in the same boat, you cant rant as much as you want there....wishing you a speedy recovery and remember we are here if you need to talk x

[solo]

I'm sorry for your loss too...
I had a MMC with my first pg and was looked after very well. It was a long time ago now(13 years), but you'd expect things to get better in healthcare, not worse.
I think it's normal to feel bruised, it vaguely rings a bell. For me, it was the emotional pain that was far worse than my very painful body.
I hope you heal quickly. Take good care of yourself. kind

[mayl]

Hi, thanks for the replies. It helps to rant!

It was actually the antenatal assessment ward I rang not NHS direct and I did think they would be better equipped to advise.

When I rang, all I only told them I was bleeding and didn't mention any of my own concerns regarding loss of symptoms etc. However I didn't receive any advice over what to do if it did happen. No request to call back if I did miscarry and nothing with regard to being checked to see if all foetal tissue had been passed.

When I had my first mc I was booked in for a scan immediately to see if everything had come away. Times obviously change and I feel sorry for anyone pregnant for the first time who has to go through this getting so little guidance.

I have just looked at the emmsys angels thread and just hearing that you are not the only one helps. Thanks everyone.

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[VillageMum]

mayl - hello and I'm so very sorry this has happened to you. I've also had bad experiences after a recent missed mc (lack of info, lack of continuity of care) both on the NHS and privately and have since decided to become quite assertive when I need help, which is (so far, touch wood) working for me. Dh now comes to all my appointments too as backup. I eventually also enlisted the help of a gynae as the one thing that the hospital system (NHS or private) seems to lack is a central person who can interpret everything for you and keep an eye on the bigger picture - my GP just wasn't able to. You sound as if you know what to do. Get that scan on Wednesday and see if everything has come away. If not, an ERPC might be the next option if you feel that's appropriate. And do please come over and join us on emmsysangels if you want to... we're always there if you need to rant. Best of luck, thinking of you! x

[kerrywa]

I found my local hospital were fantastic during and after my MMC. It was my GP and midwife who were totally useless, didn't bother to book me in, it was 'pointless' checking the heartbeat. If either of them had cared a little bit more I would not have had to wait till 14 weeks to find out, on the ultrasound the pregnancy sac measured that of a 5-6 week.

[VillageMum]

Hi kerry - so sorry you had to go through that! How agonising it must have been for you... I agree, the GP is usually outside the loop and can be pretty ineffectual. So glad you have a good hospital - the right people make ALL the difference. Hope you are OK. x