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third miscarriage and want to kill myself

(14 Posts)
upset0808 Sun 31-Aug-08 13:05:51

I'm 30 and just suffered my third miscarriage, and feel as if time is just passing me by. I've had the same thing happen each time, I'm on a six to seven week cycle, had pregnancies in September of last year, January and June, so have left it a while between each to try again. It always starts at around 7 weeks, it starts as a very light brown bleed, have told midwife but she says its normal, then more or less seven days later it progresses to a full brown/black discharge, into blood and I lose the baby. I was gutted at the second time as we saw the scan and fetal heartbeat, m/wife said baby was fine and all would be ok, but I lost it 2 days later. On the third pregnancy, I had morning sickness, which I mistakenly took as a good sign. I have tried spells / crystals and everything but that didn't work. I'm wondering if anyone else has these same symptoms? I'm starting to think that we will never have a baby. I know this is selfish as there are people who have had 5, 6 or more, and how they have got past that I will never know, they truly are troopers, its bad enough having three! (think I'm a bit of a wuss)

monkeybumsmum Sun 31-Aug-08 13:12:14

Hi upset - oh my god you are not a wuss. I've just waiting for an ERPC after mmc (first mc in May) and I wonder whether I have the strength to try for the third time so you are obviously very strong to even have done that. I'm so, so sorry that this has happened again to you sad

Are they going to do tests now this has happened three times? I'm afraid I can't help with the symptoms, but just wanted to say how very sorry I was, and to wish you strength for now and the future xxx

redflipflops Sun 31-Aug-08 13:19:53

Hello upset - I am so very sorry for your losses. I have had 2 m/c both at around 7 weeks - it is heartbreaking...

Not everyone has an easy ride on the journey to parenthood The longer I've been doing this baby/pregnancy 'thing' the more you reolise that m/c is sadly very common. Try not to lose hope though as the majority of women do go on to have healthy babies.

I'm sure you should be able to have some investigations to find out if there is reason for your m/c. It might just be that you've been very unlucky but next time it will go smoothly.

ElenorRigby Sun 31-Aug-08 13:20:46

Never give up as you never know what is round the corner.
I have heard of many people who had given up on having children and then gone on to get pregnant. At 30 you are still very young so please dont give into despair.
You need support for the loss of your babies, if you cant get that from friends, how about trying to get help from people online who have been there. There is bereavement forum on MN.
There is a wbesite called fertility friends that could help too.

Keep strong x

Jacanne Sun 31-Aug-08 13:22:10

So sorry to read this - but at 30 your time is not running out, you have got time, honestly I've only suffered one mc and that was very hard so I can only imagine how you feel on your third. I only have anecdotal reassurance but a friend had 3 miscarriages in a row - she was 4th time lucky - she started taking aspirin as soon as she became pregnant - apparently her problem was due to blood clots.

Now that you've had 3 I am fairly sure they will start investigating why they are happening - it could be something really simple to sort out - like taking aspirin. So don't give up.

giraffescantdancethetango Tue 02-Sep-08 22:55:58

so sorry for your losses x

Dropdeadfred Tue 02-Sep-08 23:04:54

I'm sorry you are going through this...I have lost 7 babies....almost all of them by mc at between 7-9 weeks. One was a missed mc discovered at 12 wk scan and my last one was an ectopic which ruptured and I ended up having an emergency op to remove it and lost the tube ..sad

BUT...after 4 mcs I had y gorgeous 3yr old daughter. She truly does feel like a miracle!!! I have 3 losses since, but I do often think of what would have been if WE HAD GIVEN UP AFTER 3 MCS....
Give yoursef time to heal, physcally and emotionally and keep trying. Now you have had 3 consecutive mcs you should be able to have some tests..

jellybeans Tue 02-Sep-08 23:12:34

I am so very sorry for your losses. I have had 4 m/c; 2 in 1st trimester and 2 in 2nd trimester, all very hard. 30 is still very young please don't give up, I also have been very lucky and able to have living children despite my losses and I have Hughes syndrome and cervix problems. I know it is horrid and painful and feels so unfair to suffer it more than once (((hugs)))

VeryKeenForABean Wed 03-Sep-08 18:55:41

I am thinking of you and hoping you have plenty of support you can call on. Please don't give up, give yourself the time and space to grieve properly and, when you feel strong enough, make sure you have arrangements for follow up & tests.

Try the Miscarriage Association as another source of support, you can download their leaflets here. If you are struggling with your thoughts and feelings the Samaritans are available 24 hours a day, their contact details are here.


upset0808 Wed 03-Sep-08 21:41:06

Hi all, sorry I haven't been on been quite busy at work.
Good news is the hospital wrote to me today to discuss options for looking into tests (hooray!!!!!) I cried because at least they've recognised it and not left it ages and am still because of all your support, it's nice to know people understand me. Everyone (and thats EVERYONE) around me is dropping kids like sweets, no one we know has gone through the same thing, so we feel isolated. And Dropdeadfred, WOW, you are MY personal hero, it has been one hell of a ride up to now. but with anymore, I really don't know where I'd be so a big HUG to you. Its good to know that there are good people out there. I will keep you posted on what happens with me, loves and hugs

Quattrocento Wed 03-Sep-08 21:46:33

I'm really sorry that this has happened to you.

I just wanted to let you know that the same happened to me as well. There are some medical causes that can be investigated - worth checking with your GP?

After the third miscarriage, I had an ectopic then a fifth pregnancy that didn't work out. But it all did have a happy ending and have two DCs now.

It won't take the gutwrenching misery away I know but it can and often does work out in the end.

Hugs to you xx

upset0808 Wed 03-Sep-08 21:47:05

p.s. jellybeans, you are my hero too!

wook Tue 09-Sep-08 22:26:47

I have nothing to offer as consolation, but I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you

sue10 Wed 10-Sep-08 10:53:11

Hello upset0808,
i am so sorry for what you are going through, it is so very hard when it seeems everyone aound you is having babies, you are not alone though and on here people really do understand what you are going through and how you feel! I have now had 9mc's and a mmc over a periods of 2 and a half years, i dont know how we kep going but i guess we are just desperate! As this is your third hopefully you will have all the tests available to see if their is a reason for this. You probable already know about the tests but just incase you dont i will give a brief explanation:
Level 1 tests are free on the NHS and look at clotting issues etc
Level 2 tests are done privately whereby they look at immune issues such as NKcells. Clinics that people seem to recommend are either the ARGC in London and CARE Nottingham. St Mary's is ok but does not as yet belive in immune issues such as NKcells.
The LWH does the NKcell test aswell through a uterine biopsie. The girls on here have taught me so much, i only wish i had known it all a couple of years ago!
Sorry if post is tooooo long. Takecare

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