Missed miscarriage at 9 weeks - what to expect? (opting to wait and mc naturally)

[TheBlonde]

Had some bleeding so got scanned at EPU today only to find it's a missed miscarriage

I've opted to wait and mc naturally but wondering now how awful it will be and how long it will take
I'm booked in for a follow up scan in 2 weeks to check it's all gone

Can anyone tell me what to expect?

[bethoo]

sorry to hear this Thieblonde i had a mm/c at 12 weeks as was found at my routine dating scan. i waited for it to happen naturally and i had to have scan after scan as i had poc left (products of conception) and i must admit i bled heavily and it was so painful i actually heamoraghed and had to go to hospital as was in agony. it was like a labour.
god this sounds awful! other people have had no problems and have you thought of a d&c as the bleeding is usually less and guaranteed to get everything out.

[TheBlonde]

Thanks bethoo, I didn't fancy the GA for the D&C

[Flibbertyjibbet]

I had mmc from dating scan, but no bleeding. I was told it could take several weeks for the m/c to happen naturally.
I didn't fancy GA either so opted for the pessary/tablet (medical management) that was supposed to take a morning.
3 days later still bleeding in hospital, sinking into terrible depression and stress. 4th Morning had D&C and wish I'd gone that route first, its all over with, you can get on a grieve your baby and start to move on.
Just lightish bleeding for a few days after.
It is better for you and your cervix if you miscarry naturally better than by a D&C but in my case I was glad to have the option later on when the alternative methods didn't seem to be working.

[TheBlonde]

Thanks Flibbertyjibbet
I wish I'd asked them about the bleeding now, I'm anaemic so could do without losing too much blood

[bethoo]

theblonde i bled for about a month or more though it was lighter after the first week. i managed to conceive ds 2 months later if you are ttc again. sometimes having a m/c can make it easy to conceive again. but then again with a mm/c the hormone tend to stay longerthan a normal m/c. i had the hormone for weeks later still in system but still managed to conceive quite quickly anyway but i am one of those that just look at me and i am pregnant!

[peachsmuggler]

Oh you poor thing, I'm so sorry. I had similar at 11 weeks and also opted to let it happen naturally. I bled for about 2/3 weeks, though only heavily for the first. I only had pain one day, about 5 days after the first bleeding and it got quite bad during the night to the point where I was in the bathroom and had to call DP in as thought I was going to pass out. About 20 mins later I passed the sac and was then ok. I don't say this to alarm you, just to make you aware, as I was not really warned about it at the hospital. I am very glad that I opted for the natural mc as afterwards I felt like it was something I really needed to go through to help with the loss. At the scan 2 weeks later they said there was just a small amount of blood left so had to go back after another week. I conceived dd 6 weeks after the mm/c so there is hope, if it's any help. BTW I had two weeks off work, which I think was really important.

[TheBlonde]

thanks bethoo - I think we will be leaving ttc til next year now

thanks peachsmuggler - I think the waiting for it to start is going to be the worst bit

[Jackstini]

Hi TheBlonde - so sorry this is happening to you.
Had an mmc last August and waited for it to happen naturally but nothing happened. Please be prepared that this is a possibility just in case the same happens to you.
3 weeks later had D&C which was actually fine - the 3 weeks waiting were shite.
Fingers crossed it is as quick as possible for you, the emotional stuff takes longer than the physical.

[Habbibu]

Hi TheBlonde. So sorry for your loss. I had a mmc last year - tried to wait, but nothing really happened, so opted for D&C as we were going on holiday. I hated the idea of surgery and GA, but you're under for such a short time that they don't give you very much. As it turned out , I had another one a few weeks later (I had a molar pregnancy, which wasn't diagnosed until after the first D&C) and was so much more relaxed going in for the second one. Either way, take things easy, take time off to deal with the emotional as well as the physical side of what's happened to you.

[Habbibu]

Starlight, do you have a link to the D&C/conception research? I'd be really interested to read it.

[Habbibu]

See, I've heard this, but having searched pubmed as best I can have found no evidence for it - think Diege was asking recently too. Have found a 2005 study from Hing Kong that shows no difference, but surely there must be more studies? As it is, it's kind of moot for me, as it turns out it was essential for me to have a D&C because of the mole, but I would be interested to read the literature.

[Mummyfor3]

Hi, TheBlonde, sorry for you loss.

I had 3 early missed M/C before I had DS1, and then another between DSs2 and 3 and opted to have D+C for all 4 of them. I found the GA v easy to tolerate and had absolutely no ill effect thereafter. I chose D+C because I was in my mid thirties the first time I conceived and I did not want to wait any length of time before trying again.

Starlight, GA for D+C because cervix needs to be artifically dilated whereas in child birth Nature helps... but see your point .

TheBlonde, do what feels right for you. Good luck.

[Habbibu]

Och, I don't know - I'm not a medic, but I guess it's perfectly possible that some research shows a correlation, which a consultant reads, and then decides it's wise to inform her patients. It must be really difficult - I mean, do you wait for the study to be replicated a lot, or decide to go on its findings for the time being? In this case I suspect the risk is relatively small anyway.

Apologies for hijack, TB - what I have read, and I hope this helps, is that women who choose themselves what they're going to do have good psychological outcomes - in other words, going what you feel most comfortable with is probably the best idea.

[balanomorey]

TB - so sorry for your loss. Just wanted to add my experience as some of what's been posted sounds pretty horrendous, mine wasn't any where near as bad as some of the other posts (physicially, anyway).

I opted to let nature take its course as, like you, didn't fancy any of the other options. Luckily for me, I didn't have to wait too long for things to happen and I passed my baby the day after I had the scan to tell me the baby had died.

I awoke in the morning with what felt like very, very mild pain similar to early labour and the feeling of my cervix dilating and opening - really weird at the time as I wasn't expecting that as I thought what was going to pass out wasn't big enough for the dilation to have to happen. As I say, it was extremely mild and more uncomfortable than painful. From these feelings, I knew it was going to happen that day so stayed in (had planned to go out with sis-in-law but cancelled). All morning had what I'd describe as really bad period pain and heavy bleeding. This got progressively worse and after about 4-5 hours I passed the sac. I knew it was coming as (sorry if tmi) I had a huge feeling of a large seep of blood coming that I instinctively knew was going to be too much for my ST and that I had to rush and sit on the loo - I knew it was going to be the baby. After that (by far the worst bit) I just had to basically sit on the loo for practically the next 2 hours as the blood loss was too much for towels. After this it died down (was still heavy, but the towels could cope) and I bled for about a week to 10 days after just like a normal period.

Throughout, the pain was no more than bad period pain and the bleeding was manageable apart from the few hours from passing the sac.

I guess we are all different, but just wanted to post that my experience was extremely managable from a physical point of view.

Good luck and hugs to you over this difficult time. x.

[TheBlonde]

Thanks for all your replies

I can see why people get fed up of waiting for the bleeding to start
I will see if anything is happening next week and then maybe have a rethink

According to the sonographer's report I have corpus luteum cysts on one ovary - yet another thing to worry about that noone explained
She also said I had a retroverted uterus which noone has ever mentioned before!

[lulumama]

no experience, but just want to say i am sorry you are going through this. x

[lulumama]

donlt think the cysts are anything to worru about , think it is something to do with ovulation and which side egg released from.. might be totally wrong. but don;t think it is sinister. retroverted uterus means your uterus tips backwards a bit, but it does not mean much , it rectifies itself usually when you are pregnant with weight of the baby etc..

[TheBlonde]

Thanks lulumama

[bethoo]

they also found a large cyst on my left ovary when i went for a check up scan. it usually breaks up and comes out with a period. it is when an egg case thing swells so does not affect fertility.

[MonMoo]

Really sorry to hear your sad news TheBlonde. I had a mmc last year so just wanted to share my experience in the hope that it helps you a little. I started to bleed on a Thurs, went to docs and had scan which identified the mmc (i was 12 weeks, baby dated at 8 weeks). I opted for the d&c but it was a bank holiday weekend so had to wait until the Tues. I mc naturally on the Sunday night. It was unconfortable rather than painful. Like very bad period pain but also with the sensation of dilating too. I had a large glass of wine and a few nurofen and got through it. The sadness was worse than the physical pain. I had the D&c anway which was fine - it was quick and physically I recovered quickly. Took me a little longer emotionally but I got pregnant again quickly which was the right thing for me. I have since had a healthy dd. Best of luck, give yourself time to grieve your baby and be good to yourself.

[wook]

I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this. My mc was three weeks ago now. I hope that the post here won't give you far far TMI but I was scared because I didn't know what to expect and maybe had I known a bit more I would have felt calmer.
For me, the overall bleeding stopped after two weeks and was a bit like a period, slightly heavier for the first few days, but the night I passed the sac the bleeding was heavy- it had been dark brown with some clots a bit like liver (sorry yuck but true) then became red and very heavy for a period of about five hours. The pain was an intense period pain, tbh it was really very like contractions, I could have done with gas and air for about ten minutes of it, but that was the worst of it, otherwise normal painkillers easily took the edge off.
I was staggered by the bleeding which was enough to soak a pad and through jeans in about twenty minutes- this was too heavy according to my leaflet so I rang the hospital and they said to come in.
When I was there the nurse whacked out her smear testy thing and gently ish pulled out some placenta pieces she could see on the cervix and after that the bleeding just stopped and settled into a periody kind of bleed, my periods are quite light and it was just about like that.
It was nothing like as bad as I had feared when I was waiting for it, although it sounds bad written down.
Passing the sac was the worst part as it kind of plopped out and I had no idea what had just happened and thought I had lost my innards until I realised that the sac was what it must have been! It was like passing a very small water filled balloon I suppose. That was the saddest moment too. But it was like that was the worst it could get, the sort of peak, and after that physically it was much easier.
I really hope this helps, I'm sure it's different for everyone. You will get through it though, and then you'll need to really look after yourself.
I was really hungry for a few days and very, very, very tired. You need time to get over it physically and I would have definitely had a couple of weeks off work if I hadn't been on holiday anyway.
Emotionally, I don't know when it will be fully better. Physically though, I feel quite strong and it's not that bad I promise. Best wishes.

[TheBlonde]

Thank you MonMoo & wook
wook - I hope you feel better emotionally over time, it hasn't been long