I've just signed up to the forum and didn't expect to be asked if I was pregnant in the registration. It was a bit of a jolt. If you'd asked me a little while ago, I'd have proudly said yes, but now am coming to terms with my first miscarriage and feel completely numb. Getting pregnant for the first time was so exciting. And we'd decided to wait to tell friends until after the scan, I'd already got my eye on some cute baby bits which I thought I'd treat myself to after the scan, we'd talked about names, even seen a pram we loved. I'd had a bit of spotting, but neither of the classic signs of miscarriage, not the pains, not the heavy bleeding. But as we had our first scan at 12 weeks there was this awful moment of silence that just went on too long and I just knew. The screen was dark, the sonographer was struggling to find anything on there. And then he explained the baby had no heartbeat and was only 5 or 6 weeks old. He was extremely kind and tried to throw us a lifeline talking about the dates being out, but I knew they couldn't be that out. And so I'm now recovering from an ERPC. It can be a lonely place at times. I know no one who has been through this and while I know I'm far from the first and definitely won't be the last person facing this, and that chances are next time it will be happier news, the right here and now is hard. I go from fine to tearful in seconds. I know there's no answer, no reason why it happened to us, but be nice to hear from anyone who has been through this and knows how it feels.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Coming to terms with a missed miscarriage at 12wks
36 replies
blogmumuk · 08/08/2008 17:33
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