Trying again after miscarriage

[SuziBhoy]

Hi all just thought i would share my story after learning so much from yours.

Going through a miscarriage at the moment. Its been a long process, with a possible ectopic and hcg levels rising after, but all seems to be settling down now. I would like to ttc straight away, but docs are advising i dont. Im wondering if there is much harm in trying now, and if it is truly easier to conceive after M/C.

Any tips?

[poppy34]

honestly I think unless advised otherwise by doctors you should do what you think best.

I think the medical advice is mixed.. have heard it said that no higher risk/easier to conceive or better to wait. FWIW I think the main reason to wait is to give yourself time to get over it emotionally and also possibly physically if you had traumatic time. I didn't wait after 1st mc and had second m/c..am convinced it was cos not quite well after first one so wish I had waited but that is purely a personal opinion.

And you have probably answered your own question if you feel you can try again now -good luck

[SuziBhoy]

Thanks poppy

Ive got mixed feelings about it really. I am drained after all the blood loss and hospital visits, so waiting is probably the best.

Did you conceive after 2nd mc?

[Aloveheart]

So sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

Hope all goes well in the future

I suffered a miscarriage but quite early on.

xxx

sorry no advice

[SuziBhoy]

Thanks heart

if you dont mind me asking...

Did you try again after your MC?

I think im just clutching at straws here lol.

[poppy34]

dd (age 5 weeks) sitting here as we speak... had second m/c as I say 3 months after first (I had had no period and like you was feeling battered/bruised so tbh was surprised I had conceived again). I then got pregnant again about 6 months later ( I waited 2/3 months to try again this time).. unfortunately this pregnancy didnt go well but it was not due to m/c. Had tests then and was told no link /reason to worry between 3..and looks like they were right as evidence sat on me now.

re clutching at straws , imho its probably worth waiting - I found that the emotional side was so draining... its not just the loss itself which is dreadful but all the feelings it brings up about yourself /your life.. I had counselling after losing the 3rd pregnancy whcih i found helpful. this might be a bit drastic but I would recommend just taking your time -spoil yourself, talk to dp (its prob hard for him too) and take some time to get well (acupuncture was fantastically helpful for me).

[SuziBhoy]

thanks very much poppy, never tried acupuncture before, but will deffo look into it.

Do u know its my partners birthday 2moro and ive just remembered this 2day. its amazin where your mind goes eh?

Will deffo give it some time before TTC.

[sadminster]

I'd recommend the book "Trying Again" by Douglas & Sussman ... it has lots of medical stuff (probably not totally up to date anymore) but also loads of thoughts about the emotional side of deciding to try again or wait & what sort of feelings you might have in a subsequent pregnancy. I've found it very useful.

[poppy34]

forgotten about that book... it was quite good.

and hope you had a nice day with dp today

and the ttc after m/c groups on here may be very helpful for when you do try

[cmotdibbler]

I had 3 mcs - the consultant I saw after the third said that there was no need to wait unless it was a complex (ie infection, prolonged bleeding) or late miscarriage. So I didn't wait to ttc, and DS was conceived before my first period (iyswim)after my third mc.

Trying Again is an excellent book regarding the emotions before and during pregnancy after loss

[SuziBhoy]

poppy - thanks yeah we just chilled, was nice actually especially after everything being so hectic.

dibbler - im glad it worked out for you in the end , ive actually been talkin to the nurses over the past few days and the only reason they can give me for waiting is so they can work out your due date easier. but i have been told its also to let your body adapt back to normal, but i suppose everyone is different eh?

x

[keevamum]

Hi I mc then conceived straight away no period in between and then mc again. I then waited for one period before ttc then got pregnant straight away and had DD2. However, I definitely did not give myself enough time emotionally and I do think that contributed a bit towards my PND after DD2's birth but maybe if you do try straight away again just make sure you talk about what you've been through and maybe try to work through your emotions at the same time iyswim.

[SuziBhoy]

yeah thanks Keevamum, it makes sense to me to wait a little, as you are right, the emotional side of it is important. A friend went through PND, hard times, and this was due to not grieving for the loss of her DS.

Its a strange one as when i went to the EPSU to check if anything was there, it was all gone, so i never actually got to see it before. I guess what im trying to say is if i had seen it then i would probably taking this experience alot harder than what i am. I think I am just optimistic and hopeful for the next one.

Thanks again

[keevamum]

Good luck fingers crossed for you.