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am i in denial?

(4 Posts)
silvermum Tue 15-Jul-08 19:20:57

i'm having a miscarriage and feel strangely peaceful about it after several days of heartache, not knowing whether i was miscarrying or not.
i was just over 7 weeks pregnant and DH and i were happy and excited about the pregnancy and absolutely did not see this coming. i have a DS 11 months and have not had a m/c before.
for several days we had the agonising hope that things were going to be okay - it was a very upsetting time. when it became obvious i was miscarrying i was gutted but quickly hid it because i was staying with friends. now i have had the scan which confirms the miscarriage and i feel the worst is over. I am just relieved to know. Is it suddenly going to hit me? does anyone really just "get over it" that quickly?
i've not taken any time off work and just carried on as if everything is normal. has anyone else felt like this? maybe i've already done my grieving?

RuthChan Wed 16-Jul-08 11:49:15

I had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks with my first pregnancy.
Like you, I felt upset and disappointed at first but got over it quite quickly.
Although my DH and I really wanted the baby and had been TTC for ages, we looked at the situation rationally.
The MC was probably due to genetic or developmental problems with the foetus, so it wouldn't have been a 'perfect' baby whatever happened.
Also, as it happened so early, I didn't really 'feel' pregnant.
Afterall, a MC so early is more like a delayed period than a physically traumatic event, isn't it.
Personally, I think you have been very rational about the whole thing and I think that rather than dwelling on this sadness, you should focus on TTC again as soon as you can.

LuLuBai Wed 16-Jul-08 12:47:52

Hi Silvermum - I had a mc recently too. And similar circumstances to you - have a 15mo DD and this was my first mc. Was 9 weeks pg.

I really was paralysed with fear when the spotting first started and then when the bleeding started getting quite heavy I shed a few tears as I realised it was over but I felt quite calm by then.

The scan showing that nothing was there really felt like closure. And I have just carried on as normal since. I do feel fine about it.

Don't feel guilty for not having more feelings about it. It's OK.

silvermum Wed 16-Jul-08 21:22:52

thanks. it's been a very strange experience. like you LuLuBai I was absolutely paralysed with fear when the spotting first started but once i realised it was definitely over i felt calm.
better luck next time, for all of us, i hope

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