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We've just lost another one.

(7 Posts)
sharklet Tue 15-Jul-08 12:26:42

Last week we had our second m/c at 10 weeks. Its more heartbreaking as it took us 2 years both times to concieve. I'm just not sure if I can go through it again - but we so want a second child. DD guessed I was pregnent this time - and she keeps asking me if there is another baby in my tummy yet. She named the bean we just lost Olivia, and has cried lots of tears for her lost sister. I feel awful for telling her and putting her through this loss as well.

micci25 Tue 15-Jul-08 12:28:27

ium so sorry for you and dd1 i really dont know what else to say sad i hope things work out for you! its not your fault that this happened and that your dd is upset so try not to feel awfull for her and just comfort each other as best you can!

sharklet Tue 15-Jul-08 13:48:03

Thanks Micci,

We are going to plant a tree for the baby. That way DD has a focus for remembering her. She got really upset when we walked past the grveyard in the village as she wanted baby to have a gravestone and I tried to find a way to explain to her that miscarried babies don't often get gravestones in the same way. She's four and has a very enquiring mind.

Its difficult - but from a selfish point of view at least there is someone who is close by who understands in a more emotional way how it feels. Most adults are trying to dodge the bullet now and avoid discussing it.

itati Tue 15-Jul-08 14:02:18

I am so sorry for your loss. My eldest son still talks about the baby I lost and it makes me sad to hear him so sad. In retrospect I wouldn't have told him I was pregnant until much later but we were telling the PIL and thought our children should know first.

I hope you are all doing okay and manage to conceive again very soon.

silvermum Wed 16-Jul-08 21:25:32

hi Sharklet, just wondering how you are feeling? i'm not sure how i'd cope in your circumstances and my heart goes out to you. don't blame yourself for telling your daughter - you could not have foreseen this would happen. she will recover a lot more quickly than you, probably. big hugs.

abba1772 Sun 20-Jul-08 18:40:53

Abbie was 4 when we had the miscarrisge and she suggested we get a plant for our lost baby, 2 years laters she looks after it loveingly by making sure it is watered and not getting too much sun and if anyone asks what type of plabt it is its a baby plant x x x

NorthernLurker Sun 20-Jul-08 18:46:56

Sharklet - don't feel bad for the fact that your dd knew about the pregnancy. It is a huge loss to your family and it sounds like she is reacting very sensibly and properly to that. She will work through it in the way we all have to work through loss and a tree sounds like a lovely idea - for all of you. I hope you have better news soon.

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