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Missed miscarriage at 12 weeks

(27 Posts)
BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 18:14:33

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llareggub Sat 12-Jul-08 18:28:36

So sorry BelindaB.

I've had 2 miscarriages this year. Both times I knew straight away, as my pregnancy symptoms disappeared straight away. I get exhausted when pregnant and that heavy, tired feeling just went overnight.

Like you, it took ages for the bleed to come and I got very bored of waiting for it. I wanted to bleed to get some closure from it but a small, illogical side of me though that so long as there was no blood, there was hope.

I also enjoyed the painkillers. Had some good ones left over from my c-section in 2006.

Take care of yourself. I under-estimated the emotional impact and had a bad couple of months.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 18:48:11

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amberflower Sat 12-Jul-08 20:08:25

I am sorry to hear about your MMC...I've just had one too. However, I was lucky (well, if you can call it that) in that we found out at a private 'reassurance' scan we'd booked at 8 weeks (I had a MC 18 months ago, at 7 weeks, so we wanted an early scan this time). As my body showed no sign whatsoever of miscarrying naturally I had an ERPC yesterday. Had I not had the early scan I have no doubt whatsoever that I'd have ended up in the same position as you did at the 12 week scan.

Don't feel like a wimp about the pain. Even though my 'normal' miscarriage was at 7 weeks, I bled very heavily and had a lot of pain. It does pass, but I did bleed for quite a while. Take as many painkillers as you can, I found that nurofen/paracetamol combined really helped.

You might also be bleeding more if your pregnancy sac had continued to grow....My baby also died at 6 weeks this time, but my pregnancy sac was the correct size for my dates i.e. it had carried on growing even though baby hadn't.

And I too had an emergency c-section in July 2004 - so you are not alone. We've been TTC no 2 for 2.5 years now, we just keep telling ourselves we will get there in the end.

Take care x

neolara Sat 12-Jul-08 20:11:06

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I had a missed miscarriage two and a half years ago. We found out at the scan, and like you the baby had stopped growing at around 6 weeks.

I don't want to alarm you, but be prepared for the possibility of a fairly shocking amount of blood loss. In my case, although the baby was tiny, the sac had continued to grow at an almost normal rate. By 12 weeks, it was quite big. Obviously, this may not be the case for you, but it might be helpful to be know that this might happen. That might explain why it's so painful. I have also had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and it was completely different to miscarrying at 12 weeks. There I really was only miscarrying a tiny little bean and sac and while upsetting, it was physically very different to the one I lost at 12 weeks.

I continued to get positive pregnancy tests for up to 30 days after the missed miscarriage and I don't think this is unusual if you miscarry around 12 weeks. I tested rather obsessively because I wanted to get a negative result so that I would not be in the position of getting a positive, thinking I was pregant again, and then getting upset when my normal cycle kicked in post miscarriage.

It's a horrible time for you. I was very sad for a good few months, but I found it did get better. I went on to have a wonderful DS 18 months later and am in the process of thinking about number 3 now.

Take care of yourself.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 20:42:11

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llareggub Sat 12-Jul-08 20:42:27

I didn't find from the scan. Both times I found out because I am an obsessive pregnancy tester and that, combined with the disappearing symptoms, made me re-test only to get a negative.

It does get better. I was surprised to get pregnant the first time this year. I had two years of fertility treatment to conceive DS1. PG no 2 was an absolute, unplanned miracle. So when that ended we dealt with it by looking at the positive: that I'd conceived naturally and by accident. PG no 3 followed next cycle, and although I tried the positive spin I was pretty devastated that time.

We decided to avoid pregnancy for a while and spend time getting fit and healthy: I still have pregnancy weight to shift. But as time goes on I feel less like avoiding pregnancy and more like I need to get back in the TTC saddle.

Who knows. Some days I can't face the thought of that cycle of despair. Other times I am positive that 2 miscarriages is enough for anyone and it will be third time lucky this cycle. But mostly I am very thankful for my DS.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 20:45:02

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EBenes Sat 12-Jul-08 21:05:13

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had a MMC in December and wanted to let it happen naturally. I was also told it would be like bad period pain. They said 'a lot of women have been on the pill for years so don't remember period pain, so they may feel it acutely'. I've never been on the pill and remember period pain perfectly, so I wasn't afraid. The pain was absolutely intense, I thought I was going to die. It is like contractions, but as my doctor later told me, it can feel worse than contractions because they're constructive pain - your body knows they have a positive function and are going towards making something happen - whereas this is just pain.

I had also asked if I would see pieces of baby and was reassured that I wouldn't. I did see pieces of baby, and found it very emotionally traumatic, after having been sanguine throughout diagnosis etc. and thinking I wasn't very affected. Please look after yourself during this time, the physical and emotional effects can take some time to kick in. Stay close to the people who love you and don't be brave.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 21:28:18

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llareggub Sat 12-Jul-08 21:38:55

I'm a great one for early scans. I had a very heavy bleed at 8 weeks with my first pregnancy and hotfooted down to the clinic for a scan, fearing the absolute worst. Up there on the screen was the baby, little heartbeat blinking away. We suspect, confirmed by the doctor, that there was more than one baby. Hey, who knows?

I am trying to remain very positive and not get too consumed by finding out as much as I can about miscarriages, and causes and prevention. I did become sort of obsessed during my fertility treatment, and I don't think I could bear it all again. So, I am remaining positive and focused on not becoming too obsessed with the whole TTC thing. I am currently ignoring the pregnancy test in the cupboard, which is currently calling at me as it does at this time of the month.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 21:41:33

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llareggub Sat 12-Jul-08 21:43:43

Well, now you have found mumsnet you can come back and chat whenever you like. Please look after yourself.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 21:52:42

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EllieG Sat 12-Jul-08 22:06:04

Hi BelindaB - just read your post and wanted to say how sorry I am. I had a missed MC last year and was a horrible experience, as any MC is, but is particularly awful going to scan, all excited, to find out the baby has been gone long before. I had a D&C the next day, but the pessary they gave me did give me contractions which were bloody painful.
I now have a gorgeous, gorgeous girl of nearly 12 weeks, who has made me feel healed and whole. I hope you get your positive test soon and that it ends well for you.
You know where we are if you need to chat...I first found out the strengths of MN after my MC and couldn't have managed without some of the people who helped me on here.

Thinking of you x

EBenes Sat 12-Jul-08 22:06:06

"Right now DS keeps asking for stories which is a lovely distraction but just want to chat to you all."

When I had mine, I literally left the bathroom and came to my bedroom and started typing here. My dh was sitting beside me in bed. I couldn't talk to him. I just typed the story while I cried my eyes out and then I cried at the responses. I didn't talk to him, but we had a little silent hug when I'd closed the computer. I know that sounds very weird, but I couldn't talk out loud about it. You sound very brave, and I am not brave, but I am naturally joky, so I understand a little of the need to talk to people you don't need to protect and be healthy and 'fine' for. Sorry, this sounds like a real downer, like I'm trying to make you sad, and the truth is you also seem to be coping very well. I just mean, wanting to talk is normal, sadness is normal, and being incredibly shocked by that sort of physical pain is very-sanely-normal indeed. I was also glad to have been able to do my miscarriage at home. And I think a lot of the time it's good to take your mind off things and change the subject and you won't feel as sad - but it's often better long term to go through the sad at the right time and just indulge it. It is a big deal, and 12 weeks is an awful time for it to happen - not that there's a good time, but - because you start thinking you're safe. I'm sure you've been told this by the medical people, but this doesn't mean you have an increased risk of having miscarriages in the future.

MrsWednesday Sat 12-Jul-08 22:08:10

So sorry you're going through this BelindaB. I had a mc at 12 weeks and was quite shocked at how violent it all seemed, huge amounts of pain and bleeding etc.

This might be a bit graphic but when I went to the hospital they said that I was bleeding so much because I had a bit of tissue stuck in my cervix and it was my body's way of trying to flush it out. So if it doesn't stop you might need to speak to someone - do you have an Early Pregnancy Unit near you? They can be very helpful.

Just take things very, very easy - it takes a huge amount out of you I think. I ended up swigging vitamin tonics for weeks afterwards, I felt completely washed out.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 22:13:18

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BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 22:58:19

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llareggub Sat 12-Jul-08 23:09:00

Eclairs sounds like just the thing.

Obviously there is nothing I can say, but I really did not want your most recent post to go unanswered.

My thoughts are with you.

EBenes Sat 12-Jul-08 23:17:49

Chocolate eclairs is a very good idea, I am now tempted to go back downstairs and find something similar.

Hopefully that IS it for you, BB. I think I bled for quite a while afterwards, but even though it was only a few months ago I really can't remember how long, sorry to be no more help - maybe a week? Tested positive on pregnancy tests for a good 3 weeks afterwards - I had some of the sticks that a nurse friend had given me so I kept pointlessly trying them.

I remember reading one response to my posts on mn about a woman who'd started having the painful contractions on a tube and had to be taken off on a stretcher.

Do take things easy. Your body knows how to do it now. I'm 36 and conceived again quite quickly afterwards, best of luck if that's what you want to do.

BelindaB Sat 12-Jul-08 23:20:20

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BelindaB Sun 13-Jul-08 12:10:04

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llareggub Sun 13-Jul-08 12:46:32

I'm glad you are feeling a little better.

I've found mumsnet to be the font of all knowledge at my worst times. It has really helped me through some tough days.

I did pop along to my GP (a lovely, kind, understanding woman) to to get myself checked out. I was worried about infection and she gave me a quick check-up. It might be worth going for peace of mind.

I don't know how difficult or stressful a job you have, but I was rather grateful to be on annual leave following my miscarriages, by accident rather than design.

BelindaB Sun 13-Jul-08 14:06:30

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