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second miscarriage started today....

(9 Posts)
cathers Tue 24-Jun-08 13:45:45

Found out at the weekend that I was pregnant, didn't dare test all last week, couldn't believe I was after my m/c in Feb and so excited and pleased.
However today I started bleeding, fresh red blood with cramping - identical to last m/c.
Just feel devistated - I really thought that my last m/c was 'bad luck' and wouldn't happen again. V. foolish I know, but can't believe it is happening again to us.

Have been trying for a year with nothing but 2 m/c to show for it. Feel such a failure and inadequate. I had a doctors appointment booked next week to ask about tests to be started for subfertility, but now afriad he won't do anything after concieving twice but m/c. Just want to curl up and be left alone, but DH away and need to be there and 'normal' for DS, any advice or survival tips?

vonsudenfed Tue 24-Jun-08 13:55:05

Poor you, it's horrible isn't it. I can only offer sympathy - I had one missed miscarriage and a couple of very early ones too, but did have dd in the end, so don't give up hope yet.

And try and look after yourself as much as you can -is there anyone nearby who can help out with DS today?

Gumbo Tue 24-Jun-08 13:57:51

I'm so very very sorry. I'm afraid that I've been there too - 2nd m/c 3 months after the 1st. I was absolutely heartbroken (still am).

When my 2nd m/c started I opted for a d&c ( the 1st one I let happen naturally).

The only advice I can give you is to make sure you allow yourself to grieve. And to be very kind to yourself and give yourself plenty of time to deal with it. When is your DH coming back? You need someone else there to help with your DS.

Can you get a scan today to confirm what you suspect?

monkeybumsmum Tue 24-Jun-08 14:46:37

Oh Cathers, I'm so sorry. How absolutely awful for you. I would imagine your world must be crashing down around you at the moment. I've just had a mc last month, but like you were, I am thinking of course it'll be a one off. It must be horrendous to have that hope dashed. I'm so sorry for you.

You must not blame yourself. I know that nothing will really help you right now, but just know that it wasn't your fault, it was simply not meant to be. When does your dh get back? As Gumbo said you need someone to help you with your ds.

As for comfort, I know the only things that helped me were being close to my ds (god knows what I'd have done without him), and time. Oh, and acupuncture. That really helped - as soon as I'd had it I felt slightly removed from what was going on, and quite a lot stronger.

I really am thinking about you. Stay strong.

poppy27 Tue 24-Jun-08 20:04:45

So sorry for you cathers you must be feeling absolutely devastated and angry right now. I know exactly what you mean too about trying to be normal for your DS but it is nearly impossible. I really hope you can get someone to come and help you right now till your DH gets back as you will need to make sure you get some rest .
I had a mc in feb and when I fell preg again a month later I was happy but terrified and sadly I did go on to mc 4 wks ago. I tried to bottle up my tears etc and and ended up breaking out in hives all over my body. As my mum said grief need a way out. We had been ttc again for 3.5 yrs and had tests and laparoscopy which found no probs and just before I fell pg in feb we were considering IVF. Now I have been told by the gynae dr I should get a referral to see a specialist as I had a clotting test done this year which showed elevated levels.

Have you contacted your epu to have a scan done to check things out. I will be thinking about you. Please take care of yourself.

purlease Wed 25-Jun-08 17:14:54

Cathers, so sorry to hear this. When does DH get back? Have you got family nearby for a shoulder to cry on.

I had a miscarriage in April and got lots of support here but a proper real life hug was needed too.

Pregnant again now (6 weeks) and terrified it will happen again. This is probably not the best thread for me to be on but just wanted to say I feel for you.

belgo Wed 25-Jun-08 17:17:39

Cathers this is so hard. I was devastated when I had my second miscarriage.

Look after yourself, rest, take comfort in your ds, and please stay hopeful for the future. Two miscarriages in a row really doesn't necessarily mean that there is a problem. it could just be pure bad luck.

SUSIEHAS Mon 14-Jul-08 14:36:27

Hi every1 I am new to this but am feeling better after reading this thread!!!! I had a miscarriage in January at 6 weeks and one a week ago again I was 6 weeks pregnant. The hospital have mentioned that next time I get pregnant a dose of baby asprin to help. I am just soooo scared of it happening again as last time I just believed it was bad luck, now I am so scared something is wrong and it may never happen!!! I am getting a bit more positive everyday, feel for u all too!!

sharklet Tue 15-Jul-08 14:18:03

So sorry. I know somewhat how you feel. Its taken us 2 years to fall each time, and I too have just had my second m/c. Its devastating and espeically if you find it so hard to fall in the first place.

In some bizarre way although I have just lost one I am trying to look on the bright side that obviously I can convieve, and DD wasn't just a fluke. DH had bad chicken pox when DD was 2 and I had convinced myself the chicken pox had made him sterile.

What you need now is lots of rest and pleae stay hopeful, all could be well in the long run and luck could shine down on you next time. Thats what I am hoping for!

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