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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Sitting here after taking mifepristone

26 replies

CorkViaDublin · 28/10/2020 18:49

Hi there
I am looking for anyone who has had my experience

I am 14 weeks pregnant- but live in a country where termination after 12 weeks isn’t allowed.

I found out last week that my baby had Down syndrome and other congenital defects. I was offered to travel to another country to terminate.
I can’t wait for travel to be allowed so, through a reputable source, I got mifepristone and misopro.

My plan is to take the mife now- I’ve just done it- and then tomorrow take the first 4 miso while sitting outside the maternity hospital and as soon as I start to bleed or as soon as it’s inevitable to go into Casualty and say I think I’m having a miscarriage

Does anyone have any experience like this ?
Will I be safe in hospital ? Is it possible I go in there and it’s not progressed enough for them to treat me as a miscarriage?
How painful will it be?

Sorry if TMI and thank you

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Scirocco · 29/10/2020 06:57

Oh, that sounds so scary - I really hope you're safe. It's so sad that you've found yourself in this situation. Please, if you feel like you need help, go to the hospital and ask for it.

I don't know what to say other than I'm thinking of you and I'm so sorry.

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zippityzip · 29/10/2020 07:18

@CorkViaDublin I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Where are you?
It's appalling that your choices are so limited that you have to take this route.
I have no experience personally but third hand it can apparently make you feel very sick and poorly.
Please do go to hospital when you begin to bleed to be monitored. Tell them whatever you need to.
There are risks, such as not all of the tissue coming away, or not working. I hope it all goes well and you're being supported in real life for your emotional needs as well.

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CorkViaDublin · 29/10/2020 07:33

Thank you @zippityzip and @Scirocco
As long as I start to bleed and the heartbeat stops they will treat me until it’s complete and I will be safe. I’m just scared of being in awful pain.

I am going to take the tablets and after two hours present to the hospital

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zippityzip · 29/10/2020 08:01

I don't blame you for being scared. But you're forced to make this impossible choice.
Honestly I hope it goes as "well" as possibly can. Just make sure you're near medical help. Do you have anyone to support you?

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CorkViaDublin · 29/10/2020 08:29

Yes my partner is here. He just isn’t allowed into the hospital once I present. I will take the tablets at 2:30 and expect to present to hospital around 4:30

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EarringsandLipstick · 29/10/2020 08:36

Please don't tell the hospital you've had a miscarriage. Tell them exactly what you've done so that you can be treated appropriately.

They'll probably have a good idea anyway, when you present.

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SoLegendarySoExtra · 29/10/2020 08:40

The amount of pain you will be in after the miso will completely give it away. Tell the truth, they have to treat you regardless.

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SoLegendarySoExtra · 29/10/2020 08:42

Tough decision you had to make there, hope it all goes well for you. Flowers

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KJ1984 · 29/10/2020 09:59

I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this extra trauma on top of an already heartbreaking situation. I would agree to tell them exactly what you’ve taken so that they can give you the best care once you’re in there. I’ve been through a tfmr and it was traumatic enough and that was with all the medical support on hand, I can’t imagine the pain of having to go through what you’re doing as well, be strong, you’ll get through this xxx

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Mylittlesandwich · 29/10/2020 10:03

I in theory agree that you should tell them the truth but that does depend on what the consequences would be for OP.

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EarringsandLipstick · 29/10/2020 13:49

@Mylittlesandwich

I in theory agree that you should tell them the truth but that does depend on what the consequences would be for OP.

There won't be any consequences. I guarantee it.

She'll be treated with care & compassion and importantly, correctly in line with the medical situation. They need to know the facts to deal with it though.
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Mylittlesandwich · 29/10/2020 13:59

Does that not depend on the country she's in?

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EarringsandLipstick · 29/10/2020 19:30

@Mylittlesandwich

Does that not depend on the country she's in?

She's in Ireland.

She will be treated appropriately, with due medical care & attention. But she needs to be honest about her situation. It's not fair on medical staff otherwise.
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EarringsandLipstick · 29/10/2020 19:33

Sorry, I should qualify: given the details provided, and OP's username, I assumed she was in Ireland. The details all correlate to the situation here.

If in Ireland, my posts apply. If she's elsewhere, then I can't say for certain but in most countries, you will be treated as per medical need, regardless of the circumstances that led you to seek care.

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Giantguineapig · 29/10/2020 19:57

I'm so sorry OP. I'm going through something similar, but with access to surgical termination - it's hard enough in my situation, without the extra difficulties thrown in.

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CorkViaDublin · 30/10/2020 04:09

So here’s how it went- posting for anyone in similar situation and not at all advocating that this is the right thing to do
Where possible go to a safe place and have a TFMR

I took the mifepristone 4pm Wednesday- no side effects at all. I was told to take the miso 36-48 hours later. But at 4pm Thursday I decided to present to casualty with “cramping”.
They did all the checks and because I’m a private patient they kept me in.
At this point I had received an appointment at NUPAS for TFMR next Saturday week but I’m too scared to travel to another country with covid.

I asked my partner to bring me in the other tablets now they were admitting me. He did. At 4:30, in my own room, I slipped two misoprostol behind my mask. Cramping happened after two hours. My consultant arrived and examined at 6:30 and said the next of my womb was open just a finger tip and she suspected I would miscarry. She talked me thru and gave me heavy pain meds. Pethadine I think

At 7:30 no blood yet so I took two more. Cramping got pretty bad. I was nil by mouth because they were concerned the heart beat would stop and at that point they could legally step in

10:30 i took 2 more miso and got more pain relief. They didn’t know I was taking the miso

At 1:30 contractions were SO SORE even without the perhadine. I had vomiting and diarrhoea but a nurse rubbed my back and after a short sharp contraction i passed everything.

Bleeding has largely stopped. A few more clots are expected. My doctor will
Scan me in the morning and find my uterus empty and if there’s something to be done she will do it surgically.

It’s not ideal. It’s not the safest way. But for me it allowed me to be under the care of doctors who care for me who wanted to help but were bound by law. Thank you all so much for your support

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Pumkintea · 30/10/2020 05:28

Bless your heart xx

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zippityzip · 30/10/2020 07:38

@CorkViaDublin How are you doing? Emotionally? Are you ok.

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CorkViaDublin · 30/10/2020 08:07

Yeah I’m ok. So relieved it’s almost over. Consultant just scanned me and there’s some tissue remaining so she’s giving me misoprostol to expel it. (!!!!)
It’s so frustrating that they have all these pills and tools here and yet I had to order them online and self dispense.
At least I was in hospital for the process

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Mylittlesandwich · 30/10/2020 08:27

I'm glad you're doing ok and I'm glad you're getting some help. It's absolutely shocking that in 2020 women are having to go through this.

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CorkViaDublin · 31/10/2020 19:33

My consultant did a scan and then a surgical removal (ECPR) of the remnants. I was under general so it was all ok. Woke at 4:30pm and was home by 8.
My consultant is the kindest woman alive - I am so lucky I was able to stay under her care even if she thinks I miscarried- maybe she secretly knows.

I’m trying to stay positive and looking forward to TTC again. Hopefully it doesn’t take long

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YouNeedASpaDay · 31/10/2020 19:47

Oh love! You are so incredibly brave to have done what is right for you and your family and it is just fucking awful that it has come to this in 2020!

Thanks

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CorkViaDublin · 25/11/2020 14:15

hey guys
just a follow up - after getting negative pregnancy tests at the GP last week - today i am getting very faint positives and think i may be pregnant again

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zippityzip · 09/12/2020 15:52

@CorkViaDublin I really am wishing the best for you this time around. I hope you get the happy ending you're after x

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CorkViaDublin · 09/12/2020 15:56

Hey @zippityzip AF arrived a few weeks ago but we will try again this cycle x

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