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Cruelty of miscarriage during COVID

(5 Posts)
ladyfarmer Mon 14-Sep-20 12:11:44

There is no good time to endure a miscarriage but it seems to me that during COVID is the absolute shittest.
I was told last Friday that my pregnancy wasn’t going to progress and I wouldn’t definitely miscarry as was too small for gestation stage but I needed to come back in a week for a scan to confirm this. Fortunately DH was allowed into scan but we both had to wear masks. Trying to cry And breathe through a surgical mask was just awful. Almost as bad as having to wait a week at home, terrified to leave the house in case I start to bleed heavily. I’m booked in for a surgical DC next Friday following the confirmation scan but partner can’t be there in the waiting room with me or afterwards, so I will have to go through this totally alone. It’s actually breaking my heart at the thought of it, and the nurse said it was so sad for them too but it was ‘government guidance.’
I mean, it’s all just so deeply, deeply shit. I feel for any woman having to go through this right now. There is no worse time.

OP’s posts: |
EssentialHummus Mon 14-Sep-20 12:20:58

I’m so sorry OP. It is shit. I went through a version of this earlier this year - I was pregnant in early March, had a scan following a bleed, saw a heartbeat and assumed I’d be OK. A week later I had prolonged severe bleeding but couldn’t have a scan or examination due to Covid. I had to wait until my 12 week scan a month later, attend by myself and announce to two midwives dressed in hazmat suits that I didn’t think they’d find anything in there. Throw in not being able to see / speak to friends about how I was feeling and one close friend being a) pregnant and b) insensitive as fuck and I’m still not over it months later.

It’s shit. There’s nothing else to say. flowers

ladyfarmer Mon 14-Sep-20 13:03:51

@EssentialHummus I am so so sorry for what you’ve had to go through. Hazmat suits must be made things so much harder- it just takes away any humanity and comfort froM what is already an horrific experience.

This would seriously put me off trying again whilst all this is still going on.

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WanderingAlice Mon 14-Sep-20 19:35:40

So sorry for your loss, there's really no getting round how utterly shit it is.

I found out I'd miscarried a week ago without my husband allowed in the room, the sonographers and nurses were lovely but it's just weird being comforted by a stranger.

It just seems so brutally unfair that people have to go back to offices, can go to pubs and busy shopping centres, but 1 additional person from your own household can't be there to hold your hand. I'm pretty sure if one of you had it you both would, so it really makes no sense to me?!

I really hope the guidance changes soon.

ladyfarmer Tue 15-Sep-20 19:15:20

@WanderingAlice Bless you- having to find out alone is just horrible. It’s us women who have to go through the worst of this, but having your partner there to take a little of the burden and remember all the bits that you will forget- well I do anyway- is just a minimum requirement. Listening to all these stories it starts to feel a bit ‘Handmaid’s Tale.’ I hope you’re okay.
I’m managing to hang tight till my surgical on Friday. Looking forward to this whole hellish experience being over.

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