Talk

Advanced search

Anyone waiting to ttc AGAIN? Currently in the middle of my 2nd miscarriage.. .

(26 Posts)
Nuttypea Wed 12-Aug-20 16:42:14

So I'm trying not to lose hope. I've had a good cry and today I had a scan and blood tests to confirm I had in fact miscarried.

First was on 10th Feb 2020, and this time 10 August 2020.

Last time we chose to wait for a 'normal' period before ttc again. This time I couldn't give a flying toss! I'm desperate, I want to start trying as soon as this bleeding stops.

Are any of you in the same/similar boat, and would like to battle through the next shit storm with me?

My DH is an amazing and wonderful support, but I can't help but feel he's said and done all he can. Nobody can quite understand it unless they have been through it themselves, and I'm worried I'm going to lose the plot.

Xx

OP’s posts: |
Sophfr17 Wed 12-Aug-20 17:21:52

Hi there,

I am so sorry to read your story sad
You will find a LOT of support here, the girls are amazing! And we are all dealing with a lot of shit.

Are you starting to feel better now? Do you mean that it is 'gone' already? A miscarriage is very hard, at any stage. Going from excitation to sadness is terrible.

How old are you? At which stage did you lose these 2 pregnancies?
I am 38, and lost 5 pregnancies in the last year. Three ended due to a blood clotting disorder at 14w (baby was badly developped, we had to terminate), 9w (embryo had stopped growing at 6w, so curetage) and 6w (natural miscarriage). Two were likely some "chemical pregnancies", which means these were just bad eggs that would not give a healthy baby (5w).

I think that depending on which week you lost it, and your age, you could wonder whether this is 'bad luck' or whether you could ask Doc to investigate (even though they say here that you need 3 miscarriage to start investigation). I think this detail is important.

If you want to ask your doctor for some blood tests, we can suggest you some that can be requested.

I know your decision is hard to make, TTC asap or have some blood work done.

You are not alone, and you made the good decision by coming here.

Take care and be nice to yourself xx

Sophie.

ZeldaOfHyrule Sat 15-Aug-20 18:21:28

Hello, I had my first mc last Thursday at 5+6. We have decided not to wait until after I have a period as like you I am desperate and don't think I will feel better again until we are expecting again. I think my bleeding has stopped, I have some light brown discharge so I'm hoping thats it. I was always so aware of my body before but now I don't know when I'm going to ovulate or what to expect it's so frustrating. Doctor says as I have a child already this is more likely to be a one off but I'm still nervous. I feel empty I just need to be pregnant again. Feel free to reach out xx

duckhouse Sat 15-Aug-20 23:41:49

Hi @Nuttypea sorry to hear about your loss. I also had a early m/c at 7 weeks with a frozen embryo transfer with ivf. I never had a positive feeling about the pregnancy as i had a faint line on test day. A day before viability scan i had heavy bleeding and nothing came on scAn but my hcg was in lower side of 7 week range. This was my 4th ivf for first child ( all previous ones i didnt sniff bfp).. i am desperate beyond words to start again but would atleast wait for 1 period. Though i get tempted each day to change mind !! Wishing you good luck and share your experience xx

Hi @Sophfr17 Sorry for your loss.. understand how painful it is to lose one ! If you dont mind pls can i ask you how your blood clotting issue was diagnosed ! I have had unexplained infertility and failed with both natural and ivf attempts so far. Recently i got first bfp but ended up with m/c. Clinic is uncertain on the reason as scan showed nothing to investigate. I blame it on bad embryo 😐

Nuttypea Sun 16-Aug-20 08:35:40

Hi @Sophfr17 so sorry to hear how shit of a time you've had. It's so unfair and I really hope you get the result you want soon!

I am 30, and we have been ttc for 18 months now. I've had my bloods taken and had scans, they don't seem to show any sign of any problems with ovulation. Each month I get a positive OPK also and show classic signs.

We were going to get DH tested in Jan when we hit the 12 month mark, but that was also when we found out we were pregnant the first time round, so thought it had finally happened so didn't need to. I miscarried at 7 weeks. Then we chose to wait for a normal cycle, and then of course Coronavirus happened and seeing the doctor for fertility issues went out the window.

I was only 6 weeks with this last pregnancy, however it was our much longed for baby. And I hate it when I hear "But you was only very early" or even worse: "It wasn't even a baby yet". It was my baby, as soon as I saw those pink lines. I'd heard so many people say "I've had a miscarriage before, then went on to have a healthy baby... Its so common to have one" that although I was anxious, nervous and worried, I didn't think it would happen again.

Hi @duckhouse I'm so sorry to hear that, how long were you TTC before you chose to try IVF? I really really hope your enxt round is successful. Did you use NHS or go private?

Life is so unfair at times, sending both of you lots of virtual hugs.

OP’s posts: |
duckhouse Sun 16-Aug-20 09:41:48

Hi @Nuttypea i tried naturally for 2 years before being referred for IVF. Since this is for 1st child so i qualified for NHS funded as per HFEA regulation. I am about to exhaust my funded cycles as all have been failure. My husband and I have had all possible tests but infertility remains unexplained. Waiting for my consultants review on recent m/c.

Wishing you good luck too.. you are really young and thats a big advantage..stay positive and hopefully luck will favour you soon 😊

S10130928 Mon 17-Aug-20 20:52:51

I'm with you, just got my first negative since miscarriage, terrified to actually have sex but desperate to try again, other half is so supportive but its just not the same for guys. I am going to try waiting on first period to start again though

PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya Tue 18-Aug-20 09:33:16

I’m also waiting for a negative test after my fourth miscarriage. Today’s test was only very faint so fingers crossed I’m getting there. I know what you mean @S10130928 I’m also scared of sex, but desperate to try again.

Sophfr17 Tue 18-Aug-20 10:38:29

Hi girls,

@ZeldaOfHyrule, i understand that you dont want to wait before trying again, and i think you should try again. And i understand so much that you want to be pregnant again smile despite all my losses, i am still excited about the idea of having another positive test. Your loss was very early so you may likely ovulate as usual smile

@duckhouse So sorry for what is happening to you... the blood clotting disorders tests are pretty commun I would imagine, and include full thrombophilia screen (antithrombin activity..., anticardiolipin antibodies, antiphospholipid antibodies, Lupus, Factor V Leiden mutation, Prothrombin G mutation). In my case, we discovered high anticardiolipin antibodies, which corresponds to the Antiphospholipid Syndrome, which makes me more prone to develop blood clots. I thus must take aspirin and heparin while being pregnant to avoid blot clots that could compromise nutrition between me and baby. The Dr wants me to keep trying naturally for the next 5 months, and then we will start IVF. Joy. I also have bad embryo (and low number).

@Nuttypea Don't listen to what people say "it was early, it was not a baby" etc. I suppose you are not already under the care of a fertility clinic, as this is your 2nd miscarriage? When i was in the same situation as you are now, we just tried again. I know it is a lot of stress, but everything may be fine next time. Also, you are still young, so please don't put extra stress on you. Maybe try to ask your GP to refer you to a fertility clinic? Or try to convince him/her to run some blood tests to rule out some possible causes?

I am like you all, scared as hell, but looking forward to try again, and get a positive test. What happens next is another story lol, the wait, reading the pregnancy signs, symptoms, will the treatment work... In my misery, I also have the "chance" to be hyperfertile. For the 5 pregnancies, i fell pregnant for the 1st time each time. I basically implant all embryos, bad or wrong^^ but i know this is "sort of" a chance, cause we can try quickly after a loss.

I would say, follow your instinct; our desire to be mothers is stronger than anything, so if you feel like you girls want to try again just do it.

@S10130928 and @PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya, are you already under the care of a consultant at the hospital for your losses?

Take care all xxx
S.

S10130928 Tue 18-Aug-20 11:14:15

@sophfr17 no as soon as i got a negative test they signed me off from hospital, I will be going private to get an early scan next time but feel the whole process will be more nerve wrecking next time

Sophfr17 Tue 18-Aug-20 11:34:40

Hi @S10130928, how far were you in this pregnancy? I think you are right for having an early scan at around 7 weeks next time. I will have one every 2 weeks from week 6 for my next pregnancy. No point waiting for 12w scan to know if something is going wrong.
So i suppose you are trying again now?

Honestly, I am convinced that there is so much we can handle. I am not saying it is fair or easy, or that we should handle the shit gracefully, but we are built this way. And even though I feel weaker after a loss, I am also stronger, which is what pushes me to keep trying. We are very strong, there is no doubt about that.

Cornflake24 Tue 18-Aug-20 11:51:35

@Sophfr17 I was around 8.5 weeks and this was my second miscarriage, the first was a very long time ago though, apparently need three in a row before I can get a scan before 12 weeks unless I pay private

Sophfr17 Tue 18-Aug-20 11:59:28

@Cornflake24 are you @S10130928?
You are right, this last miscarriage could be an isolated event, hopefully, and you are right to try again and get private scan next time.

PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya Tue 18-Aug-20 12:10:58

I was under consultant care for recurrent miscarriages @Sophfr17 but the gap between 3 and 4 was over 3 years and I was discharged from the clinic.

This time we saw a heartbeat at 7.5 weeks but sadly I started bleeding at 9 weeks.

I’m wondering whether she’ll be more inclined to give me progesterone for future pregnancies. Is it something anyone here has managed to get?

Sophfr17 Tue 18-Aug-20 12:25:23

I see what you mean @PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya.
Had your doctors found a cause to the recurrent miscarriages you had years ago? I am surprised they discharged you, cause if there is a physiological cause for your miscarriages, years won't change anything, or will make things even harder (as the ovules are getting older...).
Do you have the possibility to directly email the doctor you used to see at that time? I am sure you can find an email address: on the website of the hospital where he/she is working; or on a publication in which he/she is an author (in the affiliations list). I would definitely do it, the NHS protocols are fucking terrible here (and COvid makes things worst), and unless you push and push harder, it is hard to get things done... I even had to go to France to have blood tests done in February to make them realize here that there was a physiological problem. Try to shortcut things.
Progesterone indeed can be easily given to women, and it has been proven effective. But other things can be given too.

RichmondLady1981 Tue 18-Aug-20 12:45:27

Hi ladies,

First of all I’m so sorry to hear about your losses.

Do you mind if I join? I had a MMC in June. Found out baby had stopped growing at my 12 week scan. It measured 8.5 weeks. Annoying thing is I had an early scan at 7.5 weeks and all was fine with a strong heartbeat which is why it was such a shock to get the news at 12 weeks. To add insult to injury, I was still experiencing morning sickness, even the morning of my 12 week scan! All this during lockdown so had to face most treatments/scans alone which was tough. Like you guys am keen to get cracking ASAP. I feel lucky that I have a 14 month old son who is keeping me going through this. I really think being part of this forum will help me.

My issues are my irregular cycles now. I had a follow up check after my mmc ans a scan confirmed all was ok and ‘cleared’. I also got a negative test which was good. But After my D&C, it took 29 days for my first period to come (Normal). Now I’m on day 33 which is weird for me- I guess my body is readjusting. Definitely not pregnant (unfortunately) as I’ve tested. What were your cycles like after your mc? I’m just super keen for my body to readjust so I can get on with things!

Sophfr17 Tue 18-Aug-20 13:01:18

Hi @RichmondLady1981
Sorry fo what happened to you a few months ago sad
29 days to get first period back is fine to be honest! When we found out my baby was unwell at 14w (and we had to terminate), it took me 3 months to get my period back^^ it was soooo freaking long

When you say you are on day 33, do you mean of a new cycle? Your ovulation may likely have been delayed a little. I know this can be annoying to do that, but do you track your temperature and use ovulation tests? I would advise to do so if you have the patience. I am regulated like a swiss watch (hope i translated that correctly^^) but is still track my ovulation with test and T°, just for my peace of mind, to make sure i did not miss it.

Cornflake24 Tue 18-Aug-20 13:17:30

@Sophfr17 yes I am sorry for the confusion!

@richmondlady1981 sounds very similar to me, found out at 12 week scan and was still being sick etc, total shock. I went through MVA in July so sounds like your a month ahead of me, I'm waiting on my first period now before trying hoping it isn't too long.

Next time my plan is to scan at weeks 8, 10 and 12, going to buy two private scans

RichmondLady1981 Tue 18-Aug-20 15:21:00

@Sophfr17
Thank you x. Wow three months must have been so frustrating. Yes I’m into my new cycle now (so it’s my second since D&C). Yes this is the first month I have been charting since the op. Wanted a break from it all last cycle. According to my app, OPKs and charts, I ovulated on day 21 which worried me as it’s so late. My temps are still in the higher range right now so waiting for them to come down and willing AF to come along (for a change!) Totally agree that it’s good to keep track of everything. It just gets tedious at times doesn’t it?

Hi @Cornflake24. Yes very similar stories it seems! I totally agree on having the extra scans. I had a follow up appointment after my op and the specialist advised the same. Following my
Procedure I was offered a test for genetic disorders which I paid for. The test came back positive for a very rare chromosomal issue with the 15th pair. One that is incompatible with life and inevitably ends in miscarriage before the end of the first trimester. The specialist explains as we get older, there are more errors when the cells replicate in the early stages. Thank goodness that she said it’s highly unlikely that another genetic issue should arise and I will hopefully go on to have a full term pregnancy next time around- but who knows. I am glad I found out as there were always question marks floating around in my head about why is happened and I guess the positive part was that it meant that the mc wasn’t due to any other factors such as uterus wall lining or lifestyle (I exercise quite a lot!). It is massively reassuring that I have a healthy 14 month old son so my body will hopefully remember what to do! Just want my periods
To revert to normal. I used to be able to pinpoint ovulation and AF to the exact day!

It feels so great to be able to talk about this- thanks so much ladies <3

Cornflake24 Tue 18-Aug-20 17:30:25

Same its lovely to have people going through something similar to talk too smile

Sophfr17 Tue 18-Aug-20 18:13:54

@RichmondLady1981 yeah 3 months was very long to get periods back^^ but at 14w, she was very much alive inside and my body was not tying to miscarry, thus it took time to have hcg back to zero!
Were you trying for this cycle? If you ovulated at day 21, period should come at day 35 approximately. Also the implantation could have happened late, up to 10 days post ovulation and it takes extra days to release hcg. Also your temperature is still high, so there is still some hope smile
Also, having ovulated 21 days after you had your miscarriage is not worrying at all. Ovulation would happen roughly 14 after your hcg is back to 0. I wouldn't worry to much about it, your body is still in shock after such dramatic event, and you ovulated ;) Tracking temp and ovulation is tedious indeed^^
I think our bodies need time so heal, like our mind, but our desire is so strong smile i want to say, we will get there! Hopefully
Xx

Nuttypea Sat 22-Aug-20 18:24:12

Well I've just done my "2 weeks later pregnancy test" it came back with a line, not strong - but there.

I never thiught seeing a line would make me sad. To know that I have a positive test but no baby.

This is soul destroying.

OP’s posts: |
Cornflake24 Sat 22-Aug-20 19:32:51

@Nuttypea its horrible it took me so long after my MVA, well over 3 weeks. Are you still bleeding? If so it won't go negative until that's over

Nuttypea Sat 22-Aug-20 21:56:40

Thanks for being here @Cornflake24. Feel like I'm going to lose the plot!

Nope no bleeding for a few days now, it was actually a really short bleed compared to my first msocarriage. My last bloods were done on 12th August, so just over a week ago and HCG was 225.i just wasn't expecting it to be positive, heartbreaking.

We went paint shopping today, something so normal, but I just felt like I saw kids, babies, pregnant ladies everywhere. Mums looking like they were about to teat their hair out from kids playing up, what I would do to swap places with them!

Was looking for bathroom paint, but kept looking and thinking what colors I'd have in the nursery. Like, I've just had a msocarriage, there is no nursery. Feel like I'm going insane you know?

Times like this I wish I never stopped smoking, no bloody wine in the house either. Bad move haha.

How are you holding up? Have you had a normal period yet or still waiting?

Thanks so much for replying x

OP’s posts: |
Cornflake24 Sat 22-Aug-20 22:58:48

@Nuttypea I'm still waiting for mine, not sure when it will arrive but they did say could be around 4 weeks after levels return to 0.

Hopefully you get a negative soon.

Your not going mad I get it, its tough! I'm having a bad week but I'm trying to remember that everyone is in a different situation, im in my miscarriage bubble, pregnant people are in their bubble, in the same way people are walking about ill or with cancer or other horrible issues, we never know what others are going through and we all naturally focus on our bubble.
I'm trying to not focus on what others have and I dont because others could be looking at me wishing they had what I do have. I'm trying to just focus on me and what I have just now, focus on trying to cope and get back to me a little.

You will drive yourself insane focusing on others, im sure we will both get another chance when the time is right im sure of it smile

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in