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Coping with seeing other pregnant women

(5 Posts)
Alicia870 Mon 06-Jul-20 20:53:08

I just lost my little boy at a day before 22 weeks less than 3 weeks ago. I know it's still very early days and it's still raw for me but I'm finding it hard to deal with pregnancy updates from people on social media, especially those close to the stage I was at or moving further on when I haven't. Weirdly I don't feel that I'll feel as upset when their babies arrive. But something about seeing their successful pregnancies and having everyone comment saying how they can't wait to meet baby and 'not long now' etc just hurts so much. It seems so simple and plain sailing when it ended so tragically for me too early.

OP’s posts: |
Northernsoul90 Mon 06-Jul-20 21:18:42

@Alicia870 I’m so so sorry for your loss I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. I had a recent early mc and I ended up deleting my social media accounts for the first couple of weeks after as I couldn’t face all the pregnancy and baby related stuff either. The loss of your little boy is still very recent so it might be an idea to maybe delete your accounts or just remove the apps from your phone whilst you are still grieving?

It will feel like everything hurts at the moment relating to pregnancy, give yourself time to properly grieve and process everything. I have actually found that speaking to other women who have experienced losses on here comforting, I hope that you find sharing your thoughts helpful. Thinking of you and here if you just need to talk/vent 💖

Twizbe Mon 06-Jul-20 21:34:32

I'm so sorry for your loss. While I didn't suffer any late losses, I did go through the pain of infertility.

For your own mental health I recommend muting those people on social media. It's ok to give yourself time to heal and prepare yourself for the future.

I always tried to keep in mind that another woman's pregnancy was nothing personal against me and that I could be happy and supportive while protecting myself

Alicia870 Mon 06-Jul-20 21:35:45

Thank u @Northernsoul90 a really kind message. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's probably a good idea but I seem to be surrounded by pregnancy anyway. My best friend is due the week I was and we work together. I have a few weeks off but I really don't know how I'll cope with that torture when I go back and my sister in law is due in a couple of weeks time. I really wish them all the happiness and would never in a million years wish my experience in anyone. But it doesn't change that it's still so hard to know how to deal with other people's pregnancy joy and baby prep. It's just going to be so hard

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Northernsoul90 Mon 06-Jul-20 22:16:36

@Alicia870 I completely understand that, my sister is pregnant at the minute and everywhere I look I feel like there are pregnant women. I feel sadness for my loss when I see others announcements but I am obviously over the moon for those who are expecting - you then feel guilt over your own feelings. It will be hard, you need to try and go one day at a time and not think too far ahead to work and things as that will bring more stress. I think also being open with others is the best way to go, I told my sister I didn’t want to be excluded from her pregnancy updates but wouldn’t be able to deal with certain things right now like baby shopping and would take a back seat whereas before we would have gone together. It’s all so cruel. I hope you have lots of support at home - wishing you all the best xx

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