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High bmi caused miscarriage?

(9 Posts)
Will867 Mon 08-Jun-20 10:13:57

Hi please be kind in very vulnerable right now. I had a blighted ovum that wasn’t seen until 13 weeks and miscarried that was nearly 3 weeks ago and Im struggling. All I do is blame myself for it. I got pregnant a lot quicker than I expected I thought it would take longer due to my bmi, so hadn’t lost a lot of weight in that time. All I can think was that the miscarriage was my fault because I’m obese. And now I fear I won’t get pregnant again or will miscarry im 34 and am trying to get my weight down eating healthier taking vitamins but I can’t shake the feeling it’s never going to happen for me. I really didn’t think I could get pregnant because of my weight then I did quickly and I lost it. I’ve really just lost all hope tbh

OP’s posts: |
overwork Mon 08-Jun-20 10:41:07

So many women have miscarriages (up to 1 in 3 pregnancies) and the most common reason, is that there were chromosomal abnormalities with the fetus and it's natures way of dealing with this. If you feel that you are overweight then by all means focus on looking after yourself, but don't blame yourself. It's highly unlikely that you had any impact on the outcome this time, and there's probably no reason why, if you choose to try again, you will have a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

SpunBodgeSquarepants Mon 08-Jun-20 10:46:00

@will867 I'm so glad you started this thread. I have a bmi of 44 and just found out I'm pregnant on Friday. I had a healthy pregnancy with a bmi of 33 7 years ago. Since then I have suffered 2 missed miscarriages so my anxiety right now is through the roof. But I asked the consultant when my last miscareiage was diagnosed 'Why does this keep happening to me? Is it my weight?' and she said no, it's just bad luck, that 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I hope you get another bfp soon, and I hope it all goes well for you.

Will867 Mon 08-Jun-20 12:04:12

Thank you both I just sobbed last night convinced that my weight is the cause. My other half tried to comfort me but I just couldn’t get it out of my head. My weights been an issue for a long time and every time I would go to my gp over any issue they would put it down to my weight. My gp when I was having previous relationship problems and was depressed straight away asked if my relationship problems and depression was because of my weight (not at all because my previous partner was cheating on me 🙄). This is the same gp that when I was worried I was miscarrying because I had spotting and pain told me to just calm down and there’s no magic pill to take to stop it either way and hung up the phone. So I don’t feel I have any professional advice or anyone in the medical field to ask questions or get support. So I’m looking online for answers and that’s all I do. @SpunBodgeSquarepants congratulations and I really hope all goes well for you ❤️ and I’m sorry for your previous losses I can imagine it makes it so much harder to relax now x

OP’s posts: |
ManchNic Mon 08-Jun-20 12:20:36

I don't know if this helps, I hope it does. I am 39 and had a healthy pregnancy 5 years ago. In November I had to have a termination for medical reasons and in April I miscarried naturally at 8 weeks. I am not overweight. It's natural to wonder if there's something you could have done differently but like the others have said it's not uncommon, and it's definitely not your fault.

I have been overweight in the past and it sounds like losing some weight in a healthy way might make you feel better in general. I know it really helps my mental health to be at a comfortable weight. Managing my diet also helps me feel like I have a bit of control over something that is so out of our control.

I'm so sorry for your miscarriage, it is awful, but it's not your fault x

AllIMissNowIsTheSea Mon 08-Jun-20 12:25:27

A blighted ovum has nothing to do with maternal weight - it's intrinsic to the fertilised egg.

Char2020 Mon 08-Jun-20 13:07:42

This absolutely wasn’t your fault or down to your weight. Lots of slim people have miscarriages every day, sadly it’s just one of those tho ha that happens that there really aren’t many answers for. It doesn’t matter your size, once you’ve lost a baby everyone looks for reasons as to why it was our fault and the truth is it’s nobodies fault, it just wasn’t meant to be. Be kind to yourself, it will happen, I thought the same when I lost my first baby that I was a failure and it would never happen for me, I could think of nothing else other than being pregnant again but once I was (currently 15+5) it’s been a struggle to bond and am constantly stressing about every little thing. Give yourself some time to heal and come to terms with what’s happened and believe people when they say this isn’t your fault x

goldflakepaint Mon 08-Jun-20 14:21:05

Hi OP, I don't have anything much to add beyond what others have contributed but I would suggest that you speak to your surgery about seeing another GP. It is unacceptable for this person to treat you in this way- they should be supporting you if you chose to work on weight loss but should certainly not be attributing any difficulties you experience to that one thing. You have the right to ask for a different health professional. If your GP surgery make it an issue, I would log a complaint with them and get some further advice from the patients association.

There are so many reasons that women miscarry (I had no idea it was so common until it happened to me) and its only human to try to make sense of it by trying to understand why it happened. As others have stated, the reality is that its highly likely that it was related to fertilisation or chromosomal issues. Absolutely not your fault. By all means, continue on your weight loss journey in a healthy way but please try not to beat yourself up in the process. I know how hard it is not to do that- continue to talk to others, seek out support and treat yourself as kindly as possible. Your hope will come back in time Wishing you all the best for the future x

Timeforanamechangeagain1 Thu 11-Jun-20 10:54:11

I'm not sure if it would help OP but my BMI is perfect and I have still had three miscarriages in the last six months. It isn't your weight.

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