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Will I ever conceive? 3 recurrent loses in a row

(27 Posts)
2020wish Sun 24-May-20 17:40:31

I’m 31, partner 35. We both have children from previous relationships. My daughter is 9 and his youngest is 7(he has 4 in total) ... so I didn’t think we would struggle to conceive.

Been trying since December.. positive pregnancy test 13dpo in jan but resulted in chemical as af showed few days later. BFP again 14dpo in March- miscarriage around 7 weeks in April just last. Got another BFP 10dpo beginning of this week and positive early clear blue digital on 11dpo. But sadly I think I’m having another chemical (3 digitals all negative today, 2 manual early response still positive)

Af is due tomorrow or Tuesday based on my last mc bleed and ovulation on 11th may.

I feel so depressed and deflated over this... we pushed our wedding back a year to start ttc and now I’m feeling we are running out of time and may have to give up.

Anyone else had recurring loses like this and went on to have a good outcome? Why does this keep happening? I haven’t been seen by anyone for investigations due to covid. I feel it’s pointless even trying anymore as how am I meant to enjoy any pregnancy always thinking the worst is going to happen

Any help would be much appreciated

OP’s posts: |
PurplePansy05 Mon 25-May-20 21:16:43

It's not pointless. I'm just going through my third consecutive loss (no living children yet). It will happen, we're just unlucky - either just that or unlucky because we'll have to go through further tests and possibly medication etc.

Also. You did conceive 4 times already. No one is going to take this away from you. The question is what can be done to help you carry the baby to term. It will happen. Don't give up. flowers

GetTheSprinkles Mon 25-May-20 21:20:59

Digitals take longer to show positive as they require higher hcg levels than non digitals. Hopefully this is your month x

skinnyhotchoc Mon 25-May-20 21:21:38

I had 4 chemicals one after another. Started myself on baby aspirin after ovulation and my next bfp stuck. Had my dd. Didn't try again for a few years and then when I did got pregnant straight away. Didn't take the aspirin and miscarried. Put myself back on it and I'm now 13 weeks.

PurplePansy05 Mon 25-May-20 21:27:23

I'll definitely put myself on baby aspirin next time. I've got nothing to lose anymore, why not.

AMomHasNoName Mon 25-May-20 21:32:41

I had a healthy daughter then 5 losses. I was told to take baby aspirin next time by the clinic after tests. I did and carried my next 3 to term. It can happen. I know it doesnt work for everybody but maybe something to try.

LimpLettice Mon 25-May-20 21:36:06

Yes, me. My DD was a little younger but I had 3 early losses and just thought it would never happen. Was referred to recurrent miscarriage clinic but fell pregnant again a week after my third loss. Scan showed a new pregnancy and I was so fatalistic. Was on a long running thread on here grumping about how another loss just before our wedding would break me. A relative midwife told me to try baby aspirin, partially as I'm a bit older. No idea if coincidental or not, but it stuck.

The result of the pregnancy is now 18 months old, and he has a new brother due in about 10 weeks, too. Entirely by accident this time!

FluffyFluffMonster Mon 25-May-20 21:49:17

I had 3 miscarriages in a row and like others took baby aspirin. I then had twins.
Good luck op.

skinnyhotchoc Mon 25-May-20 21:54:26

There's a lot of aspirin love on this thread! These all can't just be coincidence

Elouera Mon 25-May-20 21:58:12

So sorry for your losses. I've just had my 3rd loss in a row- and neither of us have any children. I'm even older and do wonder if we will ever have children? What testing have you and partner had to check what is going on?

PurplePansy05 Tue 26-May-20 07:23:55

To be fair there is a lot of love on MN towards progesterone pessaries which I was on in my most recent pregnancy and sadly in my case they didn't work (but didn't do harm and I felt better emotionally thanks to them, so I'd try again). I do think now most of the time it's pure luck, perhaps with a dose of something else.

Re testing, we haven't had ours yet, but planning to do karyotype, APS, lupus, thyroid, hormone levels and if nothing comes out then also NK cells. I may have missed something, please can anyone add more if I did.

LimpLettice Tue 26-May-20 08:35:46

@Elouera I know how you feel about age but the whole fertility off a cliff thing annoys me rather. I was 32, so older than OP when DD was born to start with. DS arrived after my 41st and I will turn 43 the month after this one one arrives. Anecdotal I know, but age wasn't my problem, more like dumb luck. And of course baby aspirin which my consultant agreed I should take.

Anab2010 Tue 26-May-20 11:18:48

Sorry to hear about your losses ladies and glad that some of you had/ are having sucessful pregnancies.I think I might give it a go with baby aspirin, after three losses ( just found out I was pregnant this Sunday and then started heavy period like bleeding) I think I need to try something different. What I find particullary interesting is that each time my pregnancy loss was different, so far I've been through ectopic (lost right tube), missed miscarriage and now I suspect it is chemical pregnancy. I will be 37 in October, had my lovely daughter in 2015 and desperate to have another one. Feel so unlucky😖

PurplePansy05 Tue 26-May-20 12:00:11

Ladies I have just been to my local EPU, I'm waiting for my MVA next week.

I was met by a lovely fertility consultant who is temporarily redeployed to the EPU. And how lucky was I! By far the best experience I've ever had, speaking to a doctor who cares makes all the difference. I am now being referred to an RMC and will have genetic testing of the pregnancy tissue. The doctor has specifically recommended baby aspirin and progesterone pessaries daily if I get pregnant before my RMC appointment. I'm definitely going down this route.

Keep the faith all and let's keep talking. We're in this together flowers

2020wish Tue 26-May-20 12:20:49

Well I haven’t been able to get through to a doctor since my third mc started on Sunday. My gp office keeps hanging up. I’ve rang two different early pregnancy units and have been advised that their recurrent miscarriage clinics are closed due to covid and don’t know when they will open and I can only be referred if my gp refers me- the gp I can’t get through too. But the midwifes on the phone did also advised that their doctors that run the clinic are still running the clinic privately and I can book in no bother privately if I can pay private health care..

OP’s posts: |
PurplePansy05 Tue 26-May-20 12:36:48

@2020wish EPU can do a referral too, it doesn't have to be a GP. If you can get an appointment at the EPU and request to speak to a consultant there, they should refer you.

With regard to your GP, they are correct in saying that RMC clinics do not offer their usual appointments now because of covid. However, I was told that they are going ahead over the phone and in any event a referral doesn't mean you'd have an appointment within days or weeks - it will likely be a few months' wait. So there's no reason why your referral cannot be progressed by the GP, you would likely be seen when the covid restrictions are lifted anyway. I'd keep pressing them if I were you or alternatively go private if they're still unhelpful and you want to have this done asap.

2020wish Tue 26-May-20 12:42:08

@purplepansy05 it’s. the epu that said they won’t refer me. And it’s their clinics that are closed but their doctors are still running the clinics for a price. They advised me to contact my gp to refer me. But it’s the gp I can’t get through to. Phone lines are ringing out then hanging out. I’m just frustrated. Started miscarrying on Sunday and it’s now Tuesday and have not spoke to one doctor

OP’s posts: |
2020wish Tue 26-May-20 12:42:44

The epu and maternity unit won’t see me either as I am not haemorrhaging as they put it so I can’t get an appointment with them

OP’s posts: |
PurplePansy05 Tue 26-May-20 12:44:40

I understand what you're saying, but in reality you need to get that referral to be seen by the RMC when the clinic is available again. So either you keep trying to get hold of your GP or you go private now, as the EPU suggested.

2020wish Tue 26-May-20 17:32:38

Thank you I finally got my GP to agree to check my bloods and get me referred so awaiting an appointment slot to go down to have bloods taken. I’m hoping it gives me answers

OP’s posts: |
Busymummy16 Tue 26-May-20 17:51:45

So sorry for your losses.

I had two losses in a row and tookBaby aspirin and had a successful fifth pregnancy/third child.

I also previously had infertility too before my first child and it later transpired I had severe endometriosis and adenomyosis alongside pcos which I already knew about from my infertility treatment. I just add this in case you have any concerns about other conditions that could cause miscarriage or infertility aren’t always investigated.

Best of luck xx

PurplePansy05 Tue 26-May-20 18:02:32

Great news @2020wish. Fingers crossed for you. I know it's a rubbish time but things will brighten up for us.

2020wish Tue 26-May-20 20:36:34

@Busymummy16 when did you start taking the aspirin. Also when I last miscarried the sonographer scanned me afterwards and said my uterus and ovaries and lining looked healthy. Would she have picked up any issues like pcos and endo?

@PurplePansy05 thank you I hope so too

OP’s posts: |
Busymummy16 Tue 26-May-20 20:46:01

I can’t quite remember but think it wasn’t long after a positive test at 4 weeks.
Re scans, I had loads and everything looked normal Aside from the PCOS. However Endo and adeno aren’t generally seen in a scan, I had an mri which showed it as it was severe stage 4 but many people have it found at diagnostic surgery. Main symptoms are painful periods, painful bowel movement/ urination but there are loads of symptoms (there are lists online) .
Wishing you all the very best x

2020wish Fri 29-May-20 15:36:35

Hi every that messages about he baby aspirin. What doseage is that? In the uk I can buy 75mg, 150mg or 300mg. And do I start taking it on ovulation day?

OP’s posts: |

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