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Miscarrying at 11 weeks..

(19 Posts)
Snoopy28x Tue 03-Mar-20 02:30:28

I've had some very light spotting today, I had a scan at 8 weeks due to spotting and they found a heartbeat and could see a reason for the bleed.

I woke up at 1am went to the toilet and had a gush of bright red blood, also the cramps have started. I've passed a few big clots. Although now to scared to leave the toilet. How long will this go on for?

This was unexpected baby #3, the timing was off as I have a 3 year old and 7 month old. Also my partner is currently going through depression.. hes just coming out the other side so I'm so worried this is going to set him back.

Before my last baby I miscarried and he blames himself as he was really down during that time, he thinks the stress he caused me caused the miscarriage. I've assured him that sometimes it's just not meant to be.

Not really sure where I'm going with this, just feeling very emotional x

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Bubski2020 Wed 04-Mar-20 17:45:00

hi, just wanted to send my love.
I also miscarried yesterday at 12 weeks, mine happened at home but had to go to A and E
also this would have been baby 3 for me but my 2 kids are older at 9 and 7

how are you feeling now x

Snoopy28x Wed 04-Mar-20 18:45:16

So sorry for your loss, its such an awful experience to have to go through isnt it? Dont you feel that only women who have been through it really understand?

I went in for a scan today to confirm I had passed everything. Was emotional to hear the actual words there is no sign of pregnancy now. I'm doing ok, tearful and cramping still and tired.

How are you doing xx

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Bubski2020 Wed 04-Mar-20 21:29:57

yes it is awful and such a shock too. I've had a scan today, there is a bit left and I've been given drugs to pass the rest.

Same as yourself emotions wise. tired, empty and sore.

hope your feeling better xxx tomorrow is a new day xx

Snoopy28x Thu 05-Mar-20 03:58:03

Big hugs to you xx

My littlest is having a rough night tonight, think hes teething or coming down with something, so I've been sat in his room most of the night.

I hope the rest passes quickly for you x

I had a previous miscarriage but that was found at a scan, again at 11 weeks. So I knew that was coming. This time was such a shock because I'd seen a healthy heartbeat at 8 weeks and just thought everything would be fine xx

Be kind to yourself and rest as much as you can.

Did your kids know you were pregnant? Xx

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Bubski2020 Sat 07-Mar-20 22:24:01

hi, sorry not replied sooner x hope all is better with your little ones

we had not told our 2 that we were expecting thank God. only the day before the miscarriage we were going to! they seen me in hospital and we just told them it was a sore tummy.

how long is this bleed going to last?

sorry for your previous loss x x

Snoopy28x Sun 08-Mar-20 08:23:14

Hey, yes little man is all better now.

Yeah I'm so glad we didnt tell our daughter, shes only 3 so wouldn't understand a loss.

I mc early hours of Tuesday, my bleeding stopped last night.

I went to the gp friday to discuss birth control. She said that the scan showed I still had a thick lining of the womb.. which they failed to tell me. So when my bleeding ramped up again with some clots Thursday I was a bit worried. She said that would be just the last of the lining coming out.

Is your bleeding slowing down?

How are you feeling? I was a bit up and down yesterday, felt ok in the morningz by evening I just felt like I wanted to burst into tears over everything. I guess hormones still settling down xx

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Bubski2020 Sun 08-Mar-20 18:51:07

sporadically cramping and bleeding happens for a few hours and then stops again... I'm hoping all will be gone by then time into back for my scan on Tuesday.
I'm based in Ireland so maybe the care is a little different .

Emotionally I think I'm ok.. but I could have a meltdown at any stage... it feels like the MC was 3 weeks ago now.

I'm going to head back to work on Wednesday I think..

Bubski2020 Sun 08-Mar-20 18:52:48

first scan in hospital showed a thick lining too.. I got tablets there to speed it up but they made no difference

so if not all.gone by Tuesday it will be a d n c..

Snoopy28x Sun 08-Mar-20 20:42:22

I hope it passes quickly for you. Mine was initially heavy bleeding, clots and cramping for 4 hours. Then it settled. Next day had sort of gushes. Next day barely anything. The next day period type cramps and bleeding and small clots. Then yesterday slowed down to just spotting.

I'm the same. I can be finez Carry on as bornwk then bam.. I want to cry or feel angry for no reason.

My dh is Irish 😊

I hope everything is ok at the scan. Its not nice for it to drag on for ages xx

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Snoopy28x Tue 10-Mar-20 19:40:54

Hey how are you doing? Did you have your scan? X

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Banbi Wed 11-Mar-20 13:58:02

Hi all - really grateful to find this thread. Went for my dating scan today and got the news that there isn't an embryo developing. Can't decide how I feel yet, bit tearful but kind of resolved. Mostly I'm dreading the start of the physical symptoms as I have been completely normal until now so its all to come. Not sure what to expect, what to tell work. I've been doing the admin so far - deleting calendar reminders and cancelling courses. Got to go back to maternity in a week for another scan to confirm.

I'm so sorry you're all in the same boat but it is helping to have company.

Snoopy28x Wed 11-Mar-20 15:18:45

Hi Banbi, I'm so sorry for your loss. How far along were you? The first mc I had, was confirmed by a scan and then the awful wait endured. 2nd time as a total shock and just happened late at night, luckily in some ways I had experienced it already so knew what to expect.

If you have any questions, do ask. It's an awful experience to have to go through and I found not much info was available.

Here for a hand hold xxx

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Banbi Wed 11-Mar-20 16:28:18

Thanks @Snoopy28x

I was 11+6 today. I guess we'll see how long I have to wait now, but they won't technically class it as a miscarriage until another scan next Weds so nothing to do but wait.

First pregnancy, planned but happened much sooner than we'd expected given we're both a little older.

How is your partner doing, if you don't mind my asking? My dp also struggles with depression. He's been going through a rough patch but has had a better week up until now so I hope it doesn't tip things over. He's been a trooper so far.

Snoopy28x Wed 11-Mar-20 19:32:00

It's awful when it's around then. You start to think your home and dry. My first was 11 weeks, just before my scan. Was such a shock. 2nd time was 11 weeks, and happened during the night. I woke up and knew what was happening.

Well my partner.. so about 18 months ago, when I was pregnant 2nd time (mc at 11 weeks), he admitted to being really low, that he needed to get help. I was relieved that he told me. I had noticed he wasnt himself. About 2 weeks later.. I miscarried. Now I think that stays with him that he caused it by putting that stress on me. Which we both know cant cause mc. It sort of pulled him back out of it worrying about me. We then conceived 3 months later, terrifying 9 months but we have a bouncy baby boy. Then a few weeks ago dh admitted to feeling low again. Then again mc. I was so worried it would plunge him into a dark place again, worse than he was in. Although hes doing pretty good. The first few days were emotional, hard and he did struggle. However his anti depressants are kicking in now. He has been diagnosed with OCD and getting cbt therapy for that. Which is all probably good timing to help him through it. (Sorry I'm rambling lol).

So yes hes doing ok with it. We havent really talked about it much since it all happened. I think we have both accepted it.

I'm really sorry that its happened to you, especially being your first pregnancy. I'm 39 this summer, so classed as a old mummy lol so I know how it is to start later.

I would stock up on maternity pads if possible, or very good pads. I was surprised by the heavy bleeding. Just to pre warn you, not to scare you! Xx

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Banbi Wed 11-Mar-20 20:06:08

Thanks - I got some nighttime pads on the way back from the hospital, but think I might get something a bit more robust tomorrow.

I'm glad your partner is doing ok. Sounds like he's doing everything right. Dp hasn't been back to a GP about it since he was a teenager. Smart about exercise and diet, making sure he does what he can to sleep well by avoiding blue light and caffeine in the evenings, good at talking with friends and sharing his own history to support them when they're struggling... but can't tell me why he doesn't want to explore therapy or medication options himself. Still, he seems ok so far - has been ok talking about what's so disappointing for him in this loss (mostly not being a new dad at the same time as a bunch of our friends).

Snoopy28x Wed 11-Mar-20 20:42:37

Maternity pads are good, they are massive like wearing a nappy but give you that support when you need it. I found mine lasted about 4 hours and as it was over night I just camped out on the toilet. After that it slowed right down to less than my normal period.

It's good he can talk to people about it, I think so many men struggle to communicate and keep their feelings In. My dp is good and will let his emotions out, have a cry when needed and talks to his friends, family and me. I have never had those issues, so I can only try to understand. I get upset some days because I wish I could help more. He does assure me I'm helping by being me and supporting him through it.

It is a very emotional time, your hormones will go haywire, 1 min you will be fine, next you will want to Rip someone's head off, next you will want to cry out of no where. Just go easy on yourself.

How are you feeling about it all? Xx

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Banbi Thu 12-Mar-20 08:24:10

I'm not really sure how I'm feeling yet tbh. Still just some light spotting, so the waiting is horrible. Yesterday I veered between accepting and tearful and angry - channelled that anger into eating soft cheese, gardening and drinking half a bottle of red wine. I suspect you're right and it will sneak up on me at times, partly because of hormones and partly just because.

How are you doing today?

Snoopy28x Thu 12-Mar-20 10:36:00

I'm doing ok, my partner seems to be coming through his tough times.. which I'm happy about but also cautious because I know it's a long road of ups and downs.

I'm trying to keep busy.

Did you find it strange to drink and eat soft cheese?? I sort if had to remind myself it's ok to take ibuprofen! Xx

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