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Hope after 6 losses?

(8 Posts)
ALifeMoreCurious Tue 31-Dec-19 15:47:01

I’ve recently posted something similar in ‘infertility’ but wonder if this is a better place for my post. I’m spending the day looking at options for a future pregnancy, just to give myself some hope, and I’d like to get some opinions.

I’m so numb right now, I could have been 20 weeks pregnant, announcing happy news to family and friends. Instead I’m struggling with my OH and can’t bare to be around is unsympathetic ass. I’m so sad about where we find ourselves and keep wondering what’s next for us.

In the last 3.5 years I’ve had 6 miscarriages. The first was a late loss at 16 weeks, since then I’ve had losses at 6, 8 and 10 weeks and 2 were chemical pregnancies.

We know that the babies we lost at 8, 10 and 16 weeks were boys. The most recent loss was in October and so it’s still very raw, and we plan to take time out for various reasons, but I’m just so scared for the future. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I don’t know what the next step is. There’s always been some hope.

We’ve had almost every test imaginable, through the NHS and privately, and appear to have overcome problems with sperm DNA fragmentation as well as immune issues. In my most recent pregnancy I also took aspirin and heparin as despite testing negative for any clotting issues, there’s a clotting pattern to our losses. The babies never have slow growth or slow heartbeats. They’re developing well and then they suddenly die.

Our NHS clinic want me to add steroids and progesterone to my treatment if and when we’re ready to try again. Just to cover any potential immune issues.

Our private clinic want us to have LAD and DQ-Alpha testing to look at our compatibility though I think the LAD test just relates to me. They’ve also suggested a repeat hysteroscopy with implantation cuts to strengthen the uterine environment but I’ve previously had this and one of the chemical pregnancies happened the next again cycle. So it doesn’t fill me with confidence.

My partner is going to have a sperm culture test to see if there’s any trace of infection in his semen, something we both agree he should do as it’s not something we’ve tried before and if he has a possible infection we need to sort that regardless.

But that’s it really. More options. But no real answers. Just trial and error.

I should add that we have a healthy five year old DD, conceived without issue and she’s our absolute world, so every decision we make is made carefully and always with her in mind.

Right now I’m concerned that it’s all become too much for us and so I won’t be rushing into next steps, if indeed we take any. But I’d love some support with exploring options so I don’t feel entirely hopeless. Thank you

OP’s posts: |
bootsyjam Tue 31-Dec-19 18:18:19

Hi there,
I'm very sorry to hear about what you have been going through and you have my thoughts and sympathy.

You have said that your partner "appear[s] to have overcome problems with sperm DNA fragmentation as well as immune issues."

I went to a top urologist and will quote his exact words:"Usually when improvements in motility occurs then this is associated with an improvement in the DNA quality of the sperm as well."
This basically means there is less chance of miscarriage. I'm sure you have done this already but just wanted to check if you know what your partner's motility rate is? 20 million is average. Anything to increase this motility will be a big help, although of course I am a layman who is trying to help and could be getting myself in trouble here...My only other post details what I did to increase my extremely low sperm motility so please take a look if that helps.

Also, regarding infection etc, my urologist also stated the following things. Hopefully these will be tested for your partner as well/you can check that these are the things being tested?

" There were no organisms or germs, hormone levels were normal with particular reference to the gonadotropins (the FSH and LH). We also did not have a high level of oxidising substances in the seminal fluid. The MiOXSYS score was 1.31 which is right on the level of normality. "

Hope any of this helps, my thoughts are with you and I can assure you that you are not alone in any of this.

Regards,
Bootsy

bootsyjam Tue 31-Dec-19 18:32:11

Sorry, here is the link www.mumsnet.com/Talk/conception/3767182-sperm-test-results

I didn't realise my issue was such a common problem and have been posting on other threads as well and didn't want to have you on a wild goose chase.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 31-Dec-19 18:45:58

I had 5 mcs in 3 years before getting my daughter earlier this year. I was under an NHS RMC, all my tests were clear and DH had two DC already so never had any. My consultant thought I had a clotting issue that tests couldn’t pick up as I had two MMC that happened at the time the placenta is meant to kick in. We had tests on those two as I had ERPCs, both were perfect and both were girls.

I lost two pregnancies on fragmin, aspirin and progesterone pessaries and with my successful pregnancy was on fragmin twice a day, 150mg aspirin, prednisolone for 24 weeks, two lots of antibiotics (can’t remember why) and a huge dose of progesterone - up to 5 pessaries a day I think after I had a bleed at 9 weeks.

He was as frustrated as I was in a way that we’ll never know what it was that worked but I can really only be grateful it did and we’re stopping with her so I don’t know if that combination would work again.

It’s so very hard and my heart goes out to you.

ALifeMoreCurious Tue 31-Dec-19 18:47:42

Thank you @bootsyjam I appreciate you sharing this with me. I’d have to go back and check his results but there was a marked improvement between each SpermComet test. He hasn’t done infection testing but he might do it if or when we work other stuff out. Bloody horrible when this all starts bleeding into other aspects of your life. I just need to feel like I’m moving us forward in other ways atm, whether that’s with making loose plans for fertility testing or in terms of how I feel emotionally. I’ve established that I’m really not in a good place these last few days.

OP’s posts: |
bootsyjam Tue 31-Dec-19 19:30:18

Hi there,
I hope it helped somehow. Conception basically is between two people (duh) and making sure the male has/maintains a high motility count whilst ensuring he has no infections is our part of the deal.

If you get all that sorted out/cleared up then things will hopefully become a lot clearer in terms of your options/diagnosis and hopes for the future.
Best wishes for the New Year, please keep your chin up and stay hopeful

Bootsy

ALifeMoreCurious Wed 01-Jan-20 10:00:09

@AnneLovesGilbert thank you for your reply. I think the addition of progesterone and prednisolone might be the way to go. Can you remember the prednisolone dose? And how did you respond to all the medication? As we have a DC I do have to be careful not to go too far I think and I have some concerns around steroids - I was on them last year for relief from chronic pain and they affected my mood. That’s assuming we can sort out other issues, of course, I’m just info gathering again at this stage.

OP’s posts: |
AnneLovesGilbert Wed 01-Jan-20 10:41:23

I’ll have a look back and let you know, think I have the paperwork somewhere. It wasn’t a very high dose and I was lucky with few side effects. I got a bit of a fat face and felt quite hyper and productive! The worst thing was having to eat before taking them and having to take them early in the morning as otherwise they can affect your sleep. I hate breakfast and am not a morning person. The fat face might also have been from the progesterone which made me really bloated in the tummy so I had a hard bump from a few weeks in which turned into a baby bump but still looked the same. The progesterone can make you very tired and slow, but so can the first trimester so not unexpected. The potential side effects of both are pretty hardcore but by the time I was pregnant with what turned out to be my daughter I’d have happily hacked off a limb or given up cheese for the rest of my life - whatever it took - so tried not to think about it and just kept popping pills and shooting up.

With your DC to consider I completely understand how you feel and it’s one of many reasons I don’t think we’ll have another. DH is feeling his age, we have his older two to consider, and as much as I ended up enjoying pregnancy, I honestly don’t think I have it in me to go through ttc, the drugs, the scans, the worry again. If I could have sex, get pregnant and give birth 9 months later then we’d really think about it but that’s not how it’s been for us and I can’t face trying to go it alone without the mad drugs regime and expecting to mc every day, or getting back on the meds and having all the interventions.

It’s the not knowing what’s wrong or what will fix it that’s the hardest mentally. Loads of people have a miscarriage then go on to have their child or children with no problems at all. But when you joint the 3+ club and know it’s not normal and something isn’t working as it should the desperation for a fix is something else.

It must be extra awful for you having had your first child with no trouble and not knowing what’s changed, so frustrating. And 6 losses is an extraordinary amount for your body to have gone through. You must be exhausted.

What dose of heparin were you on? With the two mcs I had under RMC care I was on one fragmin jab a day, but they upped it to 2 with my successful one. With those and the aspirin I got very careful about not cutting myself while cooking as I’m very clumsy!

I don’t know anything about sperm issues I’m afraid, DH offered to get tested throughout the process in case there was anything there but they never took him up on it and as the babies they tested were perfect we all assumed it was me. That was one of the things he founded hardest, he hated the idea that I thought it was my fault, while I was glad in a way that it was (not fault in a bad way but you know what I mean) because it meant we could fix me. God, it’s all so complicated isn’t it sad

I’m waffling, hope any of this helps and I’m so sorry again you’re going through this. It’s shit and unfair and stressful and lonely and there are so few answers. Maybe knowing you’re not alone is a tiny bit comforting. I had huge support and kindness on here for years so always duck back in in case I can empathise or my drugs regime can help someone in the same boat.

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