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Has anyone decided not to try again after miscarriage?

(8 Posts)
wwysh Sat 09-Nov-19 20:21:49

I don't think I can face the pain of it going wrong again. We have one dc already and maybe we should just be grateful for what we have ...

OP’s posts: |
mynameisMrG Sat 09-Nov-19 20:25:53

Nearly. We said we would take six months off and not even think about it. Then we would discuss if we wanted to try again or not. We decided we did want to and by that point nine months had past and we felt ready again.
I have had two miscarriages and definitely rushed into trying again after the first and I was not mentally ready.

DaisyF1986 Sat 09-Nov-19 20:34:32

I've had two miscarriages and an ectopic and we are just about to try again. Sixth months ago My husband didn't want to so I resigned myself to not trying again, but now we are going to. We're giving it six months/one more miscarriage or ectopic then drawing a line under it. We already have a three year old though so it might be different if we didn't have any. It's so hard as it almost broke us and we're in a really good place right now, so I don't know what is for the best. I think I'll be happy either way. Good luck whatever you decide to do x

Elieza Sat 09-Nov-19 20:52:20

Sorry for your loss OP and posters.

I couldn’t go through that emotional pain again and gave up. It’s taken me many many years to come to terms with it. I’m still not totally over it. There’s no shame in trying again or not trying again. I imagine it could be stressful if one of a couple wants to try again and the other one doesn’t. That could take a while to work through and not everyone has that time depending on their age. That didn’t apply in my case.

crosser62 Sat 09-Nov-19 21:03:33

We did. Decided to stop.
I was in my 40’s, had experienced 10 years of fertility issues, multiple miscarriages. I had had enough.

The worst miscarriage was the last.
It was number 7.

I went to the gp and got the pill.
I was told to wait for the 1st day of my next period then start the pill.
I carried it round in my bag.

My period didn’t arrive.
I presumed it was because the last miscarriage hadn’t all “come away”.

I took myself off to epau for a scan to check and found to my utter shock and surprise that I was 7 weeks pregnant.
I was 43 when I gave birth to my son after giving up.

wwysh Sat 09-Nov-19 21:07:56

Sorry to hear of everyone's losses

The problem is I am older which means that I don't have much time to make up my mind to try again as I'm almost out of time as it is and the chances of it happening again are increased

@DaisyF1986 so sorry to hear about your ectopic. I have just had one too.. surgical removal along with my Fallopian tube.. it's been awful and I think even if we try again we have an increased risk of this.. or best case scenario no ectopic but then still high risk of miscarriage/ chromosomal issues/
Also increased risk of multiples

There is just so much that can go wrong. I really want another but I am so fearful

OP’s posts: |
wwysh Sun 10-Nov-19 10:28:03

@crosser62 that's such a lovely happy ending! Congratulations!

OP’s posts: |
Elieza Sun 10-Nov-19 18:48:52

OP and others, if you do want to try again. acupuncture can apparently really help with fertility issues by getting the body in the best state for conception and getting it regularly can help you stay in optimum condition throughout.
It does weird and wonderful things that western medicine can’t, in my own experience (in my case not pregnancy related)
I know a lady who has had a history of miscarriages and in her 40s and on her last attempt, she had acupuncture from an acupuncturist in the Glasgow area who specialises in fertility and the lady has just had her baby, all good smile
PS pick a therapist who is registered with the professional body. I’d recommend mine, but like all things you can get good plumbers and bad plumbers, good dentists and bad dentists, good acupuncturists and bad ones so word of mouth is a good recommendation!

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