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Going through my first miscarriage grieving for my lost sweetie pie

(62 Posts)
Winkle2020 Mon 14-Oct-19 15:39:25

Dear mums,

Just thought, it will help me get some positivity talking to you all. So last friday we have been to hospital for a 12 week scan just to find out that our little sweet heart is no more. My husband and I are completely devastated and frozen. Unable to cope with the loss. As my first pregnancy was completely normal and have a 2 year old, we were so optimistic and planned a whole lot of year for the new arrival. Now they everything is upside down, we are feeling restless and the only thing which will make me feel good is to conceive again and get a darling baby. I have been reading a lot and many mums say they have had multiple miscarriages but still had successful preganancies. I am hoping to have some encouraging news from you all. My D&C is booked on this thursday and want to know has anyone successfully conceived soon after this procedure. We really dont want to wait. I know docs advice to wait for 3 months to get the regular cycle but I am just unable to bear this void and really want to be pregnant again. Is it wrong to think that way ? please mums share your positive stories on anyone who got successful pregnancies after D&C. Sorry to write this way i am just trying to get a lot of reassurance as the waiting seems to kill us and a minute is going like an hour...please help.

OP’s posts: |
IScreamForIceCreams Mon 14-Oct-19 15:43:44

Hand-hold for you. My DD was 2 when I miscarried, I get your heartache, your vision of a family of 4 is suddenly wiped out. Allow yourself time to grieve, go with the motion and talk talk talk. You're not alone in this. Xox

Winkle2020 Mon 14-Oct-19 16:53:21

@IScreamForIceCreams thank you for your kind words. We are trying to cope with and talking to many of our friends. Hope you are doing good and got over the miscarriage. My love to your kids and you

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Aimeeee Mon 14-Oct-19 17:02:01

I could have written this post 20 years ago. We had a 20 month old little boy when I became pregnant again. Everything seemed to be fine but I had a bleed at 13 weeks. The scan showed the baby had died. I was devastated. Luckily I was able to have a D & C the same day. I conceived again two months later and that little miracle is now a beautiful 19 year old woman!

Winkle2020 Tue 22-Oct-19 11:41:39

Dear Aimeeee

Thanks for giving me some hope. I had my D&C last Thursday. It's my 5th day. I was bleeding for a day and when it was brown discharge, I have taken a pregnancy test on Sunday and it showed me still pregnant. I am so a fool and did an OPK test immediately and it was all smiley face saying I am ovulating (it has picked up by lost pregnancy hormone). I and DH got too excited and DTD, after that I had bright red bleeding. Then I felt like I am too weak and had zero energy and I had heart palpitations, I went to GP on Monday to explain what has happened and she said its normal. She has asked me to come after a week for a blood tests and haven't suggested anything for these palpitations. One of my friend that night has suggested me to take ferroglobin B12. I started having it from Monday. This morning (Tuesday) I am feeling ok, no palpitations and we again DTD as I felt like it and no bright red bleeding, but still have some brown discharge. I know its all too soon and I should be patient enough to wait for at least the bleeding to stop. But honestly, I really want to be pregnant again and get a baby. I had a dream this morning where I saw my little one who is already 2 years old sleeping with a baby. I am so depressed and numb after this MMC. I salute to all mums who have gone through these and are still brave enough to lead the life ....big hugs and kisses to all of you

I am still very positive that it will all go smoothly and I am highly hoping that I lost this little one because of some chromosome abnormality and not any other medical conditions.

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Linzi2019 Thu 24-Oct-19 12:42:10

Hi all
I look everywhere for help I had a miscarriage on Tuesday and can't stop crying. We thought we could not get pret normally but we did and we was so excited. Then I started bleeding and went for a scan as we thought we was 9 weeks but it turned out our baby died at 7 weeks we are absolutely devastated but I don't know who to turn to or talk to will the pain go away x

Winkle2020 Thu 24-Oct-19 13:49:27

@linzi2019 I am so so sorry for your loss. I can completely understand what you are going through..did you book your d and c? please feel free to talk here as I am in the same situation too...reading a lot of posts are comforting when you hear stories like women got successful pregnancies after MC. Take deep breaths...take one day at a time...I am still bleeding but I already started TTC. You will feel numb...which I did too...I am watching a lot of movies in netflix which keeps my brain off from thinking about your husband with you ? try and talk to lot people who can listen...darling this is a really really rough time...but my heart goes to you ....please hang in there and all it takes is few more weeks for you to start trying again

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Linzi2019 Thu 24-Oct-19 13:56:06

Hi I had my operation yesterday.
Just feeling numb one minute I'm ok then something silly will happen like dropping something and I just break down. Yeh it's my husband has been my rock but it's his first day back to work since it happen. I feel because we wanted it so badly it's just been took away it feel shitty x

Winkle2020 Thu 24-Oct-19 15:32:33

@linzi2019 Thats good to know. So just hold on until 6th of November thats hits your 2 week and then do a pregnancy test to check if its negative. Until then please make sure you give your body enough rest and sleep a lot. Baby dust to will be fine soon sweets

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Linzi2019 Thu 24-Oct-19 15:39:28

Thank you for taking your time to talk to me feel a little better

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Thu 24-Oct-19 15:45:43

Hello Winkle
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I had a 2yo DD when I lost a pregnancy. I had to have a d&c, went on to quickly get pg again, think I only waited 1cycle, sadly had 3 more miscarriages (one requiring a MVA) over 18 months, before being diagnosed with a hormone problem, which as soon as I took meds for, had a successful pregnancy. I now have a beautiful 11 week old DS.

I'm very sorry, and I hope your journey to a DC2 is smoother than mine.

Winkle2020 Thu 24-Oct-19 17:16:38

@linzi2019 please it's helping me as well, feel free to talk to me anytime. Do you have plans to try again after a cycle? I am just being an impatient one DTD twice already only to have bright red bleed each time sad sad Now we have decided to wait for this bleeding to stop or at least HPT to come as negative.

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Winkle2020 Thu 24-Oct-19 17:21:24

@DontBuyANewMumCashmere Hello thank you for your message. If you don't mind me asking, how did they find out your hormonal problem...did they just do a normal blood test? here they say they will wait for 3 MC to happen before they can do any test...I am like walking on my nerves...its really scary time and so much worried about the future pregnancies...

I was reading so many posts and there are stories where women got pregnant right after d and c. From every part of cells,
I feel like I should get pregnant again

Sorry for ranting so much...its a lot of reassurance to talk to all of you who went through this and went on to have your little angels

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Winkle2020 Thu 24-Oct-19 17:25:01

I think emotionally I am really shocked...I feel like my time and life is frozen until I get this sorted out...everyone says to try and divert yourself but I am the opposite..Now my love of life is googling every single piece of information on the internet to get reassurance...

How to kill this waiting time...lucky are the ladies whose bleeding stopped in a few days...for me, I am on and off bleeding since 11of Oct...its so annoying. I feel like I can't function at numb and lifeless

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Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney Thu 24-Oct-19 17:31:53

I just wanted to throw in my story. I had a miscarriage earlier this year. I, like you, could only get through it by wanting to try again immediately. I did and two weeks after the d&c I fell pregnant again. Sadly this also ended in miscarriage. I often wonder if it was just all too much for my body and wonder if I put myself through more heartache.

We then waited one cycle which I had in June. July I conceived again and I am now 18 weeks pregnant.

This whole year has been very, very tricky emotionally. I still don’t feel that I have got over the Trauma of loosing two in a row.

This pregnancy is a blessing and truly wanted, however I will say, I am experiencing very bad anxiety.

Best of luck going forward!

Winkle2020 Thu 24-Oct-19 19:09:50

@Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney sad I am so sorry to hear about your losses...I cannot believe how on many levels it must have been painful for the same time so glad for your new little sweety pie...

Did you go for d and c the second time you miscarried?

Babies are really miracles. I can understand your anxiety....but we are all there for you much love and baby dust to you

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Marmitepeanutbutterandhoney Thu 24-Oct-19 19:36:27

Yes I had a D&C both times! It really was tough and nearly broke me.

Maybe give yourself one cycle? I know it is hard to wait, but perhaps you give yourself more of a chance? (Not that I know the science behind it).

Had I had my time again, I think i wouldn’t waited one cycle like the doctors advised.

Anyway, good luck whatever you decide smile

Linzi2019 Thu 24-Oct-19 19:49:07

I just hard when you wanted something so bad then get it. Then it's gone you just feel numb the thread on here are helping so much even though my husband is my rock you still feel alone.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere Thu 24-Oct-19 21:24:43

If you don't mind me asking, how did they find out your hormonal problem...did they just do a normal blood test? here they say they will wait for 3 MC to happen before they can do any test...

Yes I had to wait until 3 MCs too, it was awful. During the 3rd one we just kept saying 'at least if it goes wrong again we will start to get some answers'

Well, sadly we didn't, we had our 4th MC before a consultant checked a certain hormone, I assume this was taken during a routine bloodtest, they didn't call me back for another.

Sorry for ranting so much...its a lot of reassurance to talk to all of you who went through this and went on to have your little angels

Don't apologise, I had a lot of help and support on here.
Wishing the best for you, lovely.

Winkle2020 Fri 25-Oct-19 14:03:31

@DontBuyANewMumCashmere wow can’t possibly imagine what you have gone through. You are a brave mama ❤️

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Winkle2020 Fri 25-Oct-19 14:08:02

@Linzi2019 hello darling hope you are feeling little better and coming into terms. Hand hold to you. I am starting to get back to my routine. Slowly starting to do some household work (but keeping it very minimal) and I am taking as much as support from friends. Also planning to get back to work on Monday. I travel up and down 4 hours for work ☹️ But I am going to talk to my manager and see if I can get some flexibility at work. One good thing is that I only have brown discharge today so hoping things are settling down. DH and me have decided to wait for a little more time before TTC to give the rainbow sweets a best chance

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Linzi2019 Fri 25-Oct-19 14:13:14

Hey am feeling a little better today and did a little house work also going back to work on Monday. it's going to be a bit scary because I know everything is going to be saying how are you and I'll just break down I know they will be a light at the end of the tunnel when we try again thank you all for your support I'm glad I found this group x

Winkle2020 Fri 25-Oct-19 22:24:15

@Linzi2019 me I feel a lot better than before a week. When each day finishes I see that as one step ahead to start trying again. When you go back to work...just feel free to express yourself. It's ok to get emotional and cry for our little ones... smile

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Winkle2020 Sun 27-Oct-19 16:00:10

Hello ladies...its been 10 days since my d and c ...I have stopped bleeding, Slowly getting back to normal...Hope you are doing good

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Linzi2019 Sun 27-Oct-19 16:57:13

Aww thats Good mine stop to am just dreading tomorrow going back to work but trying to move on

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