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Wanted to see how you're all doing...

(30 Posts)
sophied1983 Mon 16-Sep-19 08:51:07

... it's been a while since I've been on here.

Hope you're all doing as okay as can be expected.


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huskyvoice Thu 19-Sep-19 23:30:03

So kind of you to check in on people. I don't come in often and it's encouraging to see that there is kindness and solidarity here. I'm feeling melancholy today as it's a tough time of year related to my loss. Thank you for offering me the opportunity to say so. I don't speak out much in everyday life and always want to be ok for my kids, family and friends as they don't know what to do with me when I'm not ok.

sophied1983 Fri 20-Sep-19 06:38:32

Sending some virtual love your way.

Today would have been my due date and my body has decided to celebrate by starting my period (early!!!). I mean, that's not fair right???

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DirtyWindow Fri 20-Sep-19 06:47:42

Thanks for asking sophied1983, and sending big hugs to help you get through today - it must be tough.

I'm OKish. My baby would have been due just before Christmas, and my aim after the miscarriage was to try to get pregnant again soon enough that I could at least be 3 months gone at Christmas (I've been kind of obsessive about that for some reason!). Anyway, I haven't conceived this month which means that's not going to happen, and if I do conceive next month (and if the pregnancy survives that long) I'll be around 11 weeks at Christmas which is the time the baby died last time sad. It all sounds a bit ridiculous and over complicated written down, but it's been occupying my mind a lot and maybe people on here will understand.

Stay strong everyone xx

sophied1983 Fri 20-Sep-19 07:21:42

I totally get that. And think I'd feel exactly the same.

I had a 'deadline' looming over me - if we were preggers by Sept we'd stay in London a bit longer and if not, move out. So obviously it hasn't happened!!!

Sending you a big virtual squidge!

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DirtyWindow Fri 20-Sep-19 11:40:57

Thank you flowers

VenusStarr Fri 20-Sep-19 13:03:15

Hi @sophied1983, nice of you to check on 💜 I'm sorry af has arrived today. Do you have anything particularly planned today?

Sadly I'm recovering from my second mmc, we caught 3 months after my first mmc and history has repeated itself. An early scan showed development wasn't as expected and I miscarried naturally last week at 8+6 (was 9+4 last time). My first due date is 2 November and we've been advised to put ttc on hold as a fibroid has flared up so got to have Hysteroscopy to remove it. Totally in limbo and struggling to be honest 💔


sophied1983 Fri 20-Sep-19 13:10:12

Oh love... that sounds like a really tough time. I can't imagine going through all of that again sad

It was my daughter's third birthday yesterday and we're having a party tomorrow - I have that to distract me.

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VenusStarr Fri 20-Sep-19 14:24:14

A party sounds like a lovely distraction @sophied1983 😊 we've actually got dh's godson's first birthday party tomorrow, hoping that will be OK. I think both of us are numb at the moment xx

Mermaidtissues Fri 20-Sep-19 14:34:05

Anniversaries are tough, tomorrow is anniversary of surgery for MMC, this has tainted my return to school excitement for my DC (they are not aware obvs).

Stay strong everyone

sophied1983 Fri 20-Sep-19 20:01:15

My other half thought tonight would be a good night for an impromptu night out with work, knowing full well the significance of the date. They really don't get it.

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DirtyWindow Fri 20-Sep-19 22:29:13

Oh that sucks sophied1983

No. However nice they are, and however much they care, I don't think they do quite "get it".

Zara84 Sat 21-Sep-19 00:18:57

Hi ladies mind if I join... I miscarried at 3 months about 3 weeks ago...
still very raw.

It’s been hard, I have only just returned back to work... trying to get back to normal...

However 3 days ago my sis in law (husbands sister ) had a baby..and as happy as I am for her i am getting tired of the ongoing conversations about her baby etc. Unfortunately I am
In a in laws group on WhatsApp and they (her sisters and her - I am the only other person there) continue to send pics of the baby gushing over her and seem to forget that I have lost so recently... am I being over sensitive. ?

I have congratulated them all on 2 occasions now but now just ignore the messages as I find it hurtful that they are not at all being empathetic surely they can celebrate continuously in my absence ?

Sorry for going on, maybe I am being over sensitive... today has been a difficult day.💔

sophied1983 Sat 21-Sep-19 08:14:18

Oh love. It's so tough. That must be particularly tricky - I know I'd feel like it was being rubbed in my face. Even though I know they're entitled to their happiness etc. It's so recent for you as well... you're doing the right thing - keep a bit of distance from it and try not to take it personally (easier said than done I know). Always here for a chat/ rant... x

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loveyourself87 Sat 21-Sep-19 15:31:30

Hi everyone,

I created a post earlier today titled "waiting to confirm miscarriage" and the responses were so supportive. I was wondering if anyone who has had a miscarriage can help me out? I had bright red bleeding like a period with lower back cramps at 5am, called local nhs and they told me to go to A+E, had urine test which showed still positive (wiped whilst in the bathroom and there were loads of brown blood with tiny clots)and had blood test which came back fine. I am due to go to EPU tomorrow at 11am for a scan but when I got home, the blood had turned brown and was just like a tiny discharge, now it has stopped completely but boobs are not as sore and nausea has completely disappeared. I know I'm clutching at straws but any advise would be super helpful! If it's a miscarriage I want it over and done with but there is no bleeding now just standard cramps.

DirtyWindow Sat 21-Sep-19 16:24:19

That sounds really scary. Sorry, I'm no use as mine was a MMC so very different. Good luck, stay strong. flowers

loveyourself87 Sat 21-Sep-19 19:55:49

@DirtyWindow thank you sweets, hopefully someone can shed some light! I'm just tired of the cramps and not knowing what is happening! X

sophied1983 Sun 22-Sep-19 14:09:25

@loveyourself87 - was it today you were at EPU? How far along are you?

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loveyourself87 Sun 22-Sep-19 14:16:14

@sophied1983 I ended up going last night instead! Baby is fine and saw heartbeat, doctor said there is no known reason for the bleeding and it's just one of those things xxx

DirtyWindow Sun 22-Sep-19 15:33:37

Great news loveyourself87!

Chanel05 Sun 22-Sep-19 15:35:16

My due date was 19th November and now that it's getting closer and I'm not pregnant, I'm starting to fret even more than ever.

@VenusStarr I'm really sorry to read that you've experienced another mc. Life can be very cruel at times thanks. I took a step back from MN for a few months as my mental health was at an all time low and coming on here wasn't helping really.

sophied1983 Sun 22-Sep-19 17:06:31

I was struggling too @Chanel05.

I actually called our work EAP line and had a very emotional call.

One thing that has helped me - was recognising the difference between grieving for the miscarriage and getting over the loss vs. the emotional toll of trying for a baby. Think I was conflating the two which meant when my period arrived, I was in bits. Have felt much better the last two periods.

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loveyourself87 Sun 22-Sep-19 17:09:54

@Chanel05 @sophied1983 so sorry to hear about your losses ladies, wishing you all the love and support on your journey xx

VenusStarr Mon 23-Sep-19 10:58:52

Hi @Chanel05 thank you 💜 I think a break away from here sounds good. I can't seem to not come on here. I'm feeling worse. I think this time I had a delayed reaction, so was numb for a while (the mc was exactly the same as my first one, scans showing slow growth / no hope so was in limbo for a few weeks). Our first due date is 2 November, think I'm going to book us a weekend away. I think last time because I threw myself into ttc straight away it helped but this time we can't try again and I'm feeling really helpless. Hope you're doing OK xx

Sorry to bring your thread down @sophied1983, how was the rest of your weekend? X

sophied1983 Mon 23-Sep-19 19:08:41

Got the monster of all periods. But daughter's party was a nice distraction.

A weekend away sounds like a lovely idea - any ideas where? Did they give any indication of when they might do the fibroid removal?

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