Hello - posting as I need to express my feelings somewhere, and there's no one really I have been able to talk to about this.
I had a MMC at 10 weeks just under a month ago. I opted for medical management and had a super hard time of it physically. All this after 7 rather depressing months of TTC (I know that's not long, but I hadn't expected it to be SO emotionally hard).
I'm 35 and all my friends are falling pregnant with 2nd babies, and when I say all, I literally mean virtually my entire network. Pregnancy announcements, birth announcements everywhere on social media. I am generally very stoic and reserved emotionally, so I'm actually pretty scared by my reaction as I'm furious at everyone. I came off all social media as I felt like it was tipping me over the edge.
I have one friend in particular who is now due around the time I would have been & constantly updates instagram with her latest 'bump' shots. I have pulled out of some events coming up as I don't want to see her in person as she reminds me of what I 'should' have had (I know this is mental). She knows about the miscarriage, but I don't want to speak much about it as I'm scared about how it will come out.
My husband showed me yet another photo of yet another pregnancy announcement on Facebook over the weekend, and we ended up having a big row because he can't understand why I'm so upset. He's told me repeatedly I should be happy for people, and that the way I am is nasty and unpleasant. I know it is, but I feel so desperately angry and I don't know how to manage this level of emotion.
We have a 2.5 year old little boy so know I shouldn't complain - he keeps saying 'at least we have him' but this doesn't make me hate pregnant people any less. I am so lucky, but I am so, so beaten down by this experience, and I feel like if I let it fester I'm just going to dig a deeper emotional hole.
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Really struggling with pregnant friends & social media after MMC
16 replies
rosamundos · 15/08/2019 01:57
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