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Missed Miscarriage happening right now

(27 Posts)
Pennyblossom12 Thu 16-May-19 07:52:18

Hi,
I'm just looking to talk with someone who has been or is going through the same experience as me. On Tuesday I had some pink blood when I wiped so I want my local early pregnancy unit who were great and got me in for a scan straight away. I went with my husband, I was supposed to be about 9 weeks and this point but the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat and another doctor confirmed this. The baby has stopped growing at 7 weeks and 5 days. This is my first pregnancy. They explained to me what a missed miscarriage is and what my options were. I decided to go for the natural option and let my body do what it has to do. At the moment I'm just waiting knowing that I have a dead baby inside of me and I'm scared about the actual miscarriage. I keep crying and then I feel ok. My family and close friends have all been great but none of them have experienced this so it's hard for them to really know what I'm feeling like right now.

We want to have a baby so badly but I know that I never want to go through this again. Is anyone going through similar or has been through similar experiences? Thanks x

OP’s posts: |
TT83 Thu 16-May-19 09:05:32

Hi pennyblossom12
I am 11 weeks pregnant
I woke up on Sunday morning and went to the toilet, there was bright pink blood when I wiped so I called 111 who sent me to A and E. They did a pregnancy test when I first got there which showed as positive so I was hugely relieved that I hadn’t miscarried! They referred me to the EPU on Tuesday morning for a scan to rule out an ectopic pregnancy as I had not received a 12 week scan date, I was extremely hopeful all was ok as I had not experienced any pains at all. To my horror could not find a heart beat with the external scan ... the lady then said maybe I was a lot earlier then I thought and she would do an internal scan. She could find the sack but still no heart beat. They told me the size of the sac and it would seem it stopped growing around 6 weeks. They have re booked me for another scan next Friday to confirm a missed miscarriage (I had never heard of this before) as they told me they have to give it the benefit of the doubt however they told me that they are pretty certain the pregnancy is not continuing due to my dates being 11 weeks and it being so small. I had been trying to conceive for 1 and a half years and me and my partner are devastated! I have read that people go on to have successful pregnancy’s after a missed miscarriage however the thought of doing this all again is heartbreaking! I’m terrified of passing the baby ... they said after the second scan Friday they will ask me to chose which option I would rather take - surgical, medical or natural however the thought of just waiting for it to happen fills me with dread and the surgical and medical option make me think I’m getting rid of it. My partner has had to face all the people that knew at work (for health and safely reasons I had to inform them of the pregnancy ) as I have just hidden away for 2 days. He has done great but it’s taking its toll on him too.
This is also my first pregnancy and like you I would like to speak to someone going through the same as me! I’m so sorry for your loss .... I know how you are feeling as I cry one minute then I feel ok the next it’s an emotional roller coaster! Please keep in contact x

VenusStarr Thu 16-May-19 09:25:59

I am so sorry you are both going through this @Pennyblossom12 @TT83

I have recently been through similar. We'd been ttc for nearly 18 months when we found out. I had some bleeding and had a scan at what I thought was 6+6 but was told that the sac was empty and collapsing. I had to go back 2 weeks later and they found a 5 week pregnancy with foetal pole and yolk sac. I should have been 8+6 by that point. I was booked back in for another scan 12 days later but ended up miscarrying naturally at 9+4. I knew what was happening but it was manageable with painkillers and a heat bag. I just stayed at home and near the toilet. The follow up scan confirmed it was complete.

I was off work for a month in total and still working flexible hours. My boss has been really kind. I've started counselling too.

I'm desperate to get pregnant again, on my first proper cycle now. My period came back on time and we were given the go ahead to ttc again. I'm petrified of it happening again but I want a baby sad it's a really difficult time.

Sending love, try and be kind to yourselves flowers

Mishappening Thu 16-May-19 09:32:30

My DD suffered two of these - but now has two healthy boys.

I understand how very distressing this is for you all and send flowers. Don't give up - you will look back on this one day and, from the future perspective, it will just have been a blip in your family life. I know it does not feel like this now - but give it time. Hoping for good things to come for you all.

Pennyblossom12 Thu 16-May-19 09:52:05

Thanks everyone. @TT83 I'm sorry too. It sounds like we're going through exactly the same thing. I also thought everything would be fine as it was just a bit of spotting and I've had no pain. I had never heard of a missed miscarriage either until it was happening to me, which just shows it is not talked about enough! Especially as they told me 1 in every 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. I also felt like the medical and surgical options were not right, although the waiting around is just horrible. I've started to get a few cramps now so this maybe the start of it. I've stocked up on maxi pads, paracetamol and just expecting the worse. My work have been great and my doctor has signed me off for a month, got my hubby to drop it in for me as like you I'm just kind of hiding away right now. Yes please stay in touch xx

OP’s posts: |
Blondie790 Thu 16-May-19 10:04:58

Hi.
Sorry to hear all your stories.
I am currently going thru medical management for a missed miscarriage.
We went for a private scan when I should have been 9 weeks but I was only measuring 6.
Was referred to the early pregnancy unit who re scanned me and spoke thru my options.
I had no symptoms and no bleeding.
It is awful 😔

TT83 Thu 16-May-19 10:26:00

I think you are absolutely right pennyblossom12 - it’s not spoken about enough! I was also told 1 in 4 end in miscarriage but never was I told about a miss miscarriage! I also brought pads yesterday incase it comes naturally before my second scan next Friday. I hope it is over as quickly as possible for you sad at least your doctor has signed you off so you don’t have any added stress about working - I will look into that myself as I’m due back tomorrow and not sure if that will help me or not! I will defo need time off come the time of it happening but at the moment I feel like I’m just hanging around the house and I don’t really know what to do! Xx

TT83 Thu 16-May-19 10:31:12

I’m sorry to hear you are suffering too blondie790! Can i ask what time scales they give you for the medical assisted one? I have to think about all options as I’m not sure how much longer I can go on waiting .... technically My pregnancy ended over 6 weeks ago and Nothing has passed so I may end up going with a medical or surgical depending on what they advise next Friday x

Blondie790 Thu 16-May-19 10:40:21

Well that was my thoughts I had no symptoms for three weeks of the pregnancy ending and I don’t think I wanted just to wait for it to happen naturally. Everyone is different. Time scales they said the process would start in two to twenty four hours after medication and can take a few days but bleeding could continue for a few weeks. I got my medication at 2.30 yesterday and things started about 5pm. Got a hot water bottle and they gave me medication away to manage the pain. X

TT83 Thu 16-May-19 10:47:33

Thanks for the info .... I hope the process goes as quickly as possible for you take care of your self x

Pennyblossom12 Thu 16-May-19 10:57:26

I'm so sorry to hear that @Blondie790. It is such a horrible thing to go through and something I just wasn't expecting so I'm glad we can share our feelings on here and to know we're not alone in this xx

OP’s posts: |
Blondie790 Thu 16-May-19 10:59:15

I think this is the issue no one speaks about it. I had no idea this could happen I always thought there would be signs or symptoms that’s the worst part. I just don’t know how I will enjoy a pregnancy without worrying x

Starlive23 Thu 16-May-19 11:05:44

So sorry you are goin through this Op, it's awful. Make sure you get some paracetamol and have someone in the house with you as mine was a bit more painful than I expected but only for a very short time, although I was further along so maybe that was why.

Make sure you look after yourself, and take time off work etc to have time to deal with this, as it's such a horrible thing to go through.
flowers
Keep us updated as to how you are doing

Sarah2809 Thu 16-May-19 11:15:40

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this.

I had a similar experience 2 months ago. My pregnancy symptoms started early and were quite strong, my bump grew quite quickly too! I didn't have any bleeding, any pains, just the usual sickness, sore boobs, hunger and tiredness etc. so we went along for our 12 week scan feeling on top of the world. Then we were told the devastating news that our baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at about 10 weeks. I had absolutely no signs at all, in fact, all of my pregnancy symptoms were still as strong as they had been before.

I know how you must feel, it's awful being sent back home to deal with it, not knowing how the right way to feel is. I actually opted for the D&C and spent a weekend knowing our angel was inside me without a heartbeat, and I found that harder than anything else to deal with. Made even worse by my cousins baby being born less than a week after the operation - it took 7 weeks to build up the emotional strength to be able to meet her!

My thoughts are with you though at such a difficult time.

I have just started my first period since I had the D&C (well, since I got pregnant in December, technically), and we are hopeful to start trying again after this. I am incredibly scared and nervous in case I have to go through all of this again, but at the same time, I have so much love to share and hopefully one day I'll get the chance to be a mummy flowers

TT83 Thu 16-May-19 12:14:43

Thank you all for your input today - I feel so much better already knowing I’m not alone (although I wish none of us had this to deal with) it’s amazing how someone else knowing how your feeling and knowing your fears can help lift your spirits
Thank you ladies flowers

Chanel05 Thu 16-May-19 12:27:28

I'm so sorry for you to be going through this. It honestly believe it's like your blood running cold when you hear those words.

I had an early scan at 8+5 and was told "there's no heartbeat" (even typing those words sends chills through my body) and my baby had died at 8+1. I'd had no pains or bleeding.

Fast forward to 11+3 and I had surgical management, I didn't miscarry and was told that if I hadn't by that point it was dangerous to leave it to much longer. For me, the surgical management was absolutely the right decision. I didn't want to have to deal with it on my own and the procedure was relatively simple and I was awake in recovery 50 minutes after being wheeled away on the ward. That was 2 weeks ago today. I'm now going back to work tomorrow and I've been off for 4 weeks.

Again, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I don't feel like each day has been easier as such, but as I look back to last Thursday and the Thursday before, I know I've felt better as each week has passed. There are no words to make you feel better. Make sure you take as much time off as you need to, it's very hard going and after my surgery, my hormones were WILD and I was completely impatient and short tempered for the first week. Please take care of yourself and remember, you absolutely do not have to make a decision yet about how the pregnancy should end. I gave myself 8 days to think it through properly.

Thund4rcat Thu 16-May-19 18:35:22

Hello and I am sorry for your loss. I am in the same boat. I found out today at 9+2 that the foetus has no heartbeat, after a scan at 7 weeks showed it did have one then. I am devastated. But I just want it out of me as quickly as possible and don't want to deal with the extra distress of seeing stuff and having cramps. So I am going in tomorrow for surgery to take everything out. I guess that is called a D and C? I don't know. They suggested there was no point in me doing another scan but did say if I wanted one I could have one in a week. But I know they wouldn't have got it wrong today, it's too big a mistake to make, and there were two doctors/nurses looking at the scan so I trust them. It is so sad.

Pennyblossom12 Thu 16-May-19 19:10:07

I'm so sorry @Thund4rcat. Thanks everyone for sharing their experiences, it's the most upsetting thing and I think only people who have been through it will understand how we are feeling right now. I already feel better knowing that I can talk to all of you lovely ladies on here xx

OP’s posts: |
TT83 Thu 16-May-19 19:10:50

@Thund4rcat
I’m so sorry to hear you have had the same devastating news .... it’s so heart breaking.
I spoke with my partner today and if the passing doesn’t happen naturally by my second scan next Friday I’m going to code to have the D and C too. Waiting 10 days for them to deliver the same news is long enough without the added distress as you say of then waiting for it to happen naturally. At least you are having this procedure as soon as possible .... take care of yourself stay strong x

TT83 Thu 16-May-19 19:14:12

@Pennyblossom12
I actually got up, got showered and dressed and left the house today for the first time in 2 days .... talking and reading about everyone else’s experiences kind of gave me that little bit of strength I needed to snap me back to reality a bit x

Pennyblossom12 Thu 16-May-19 20:05:49

@TT83 I think that's a good idea, I've decided to wait a week and then try the medical route with the tablets. It's horrible just waiting right now. I'm making myself get up every morning and have been distracting myself with reading and Netflix. I forgot I had signed up to NHS pregnancy start life and got an email today "what to expect now you're 10 weeks pregnant". That set me off again but have unsubscribed and also deleted an app I had on my phone. I'm just going to take each day as it comes right now x

OP’s posts: |
MissR23 Fri 17-May-19 19:25:22

Hi ladies, so sorry to hear your devastating news.

I am currently going through a missed miscarriage. This is my second pregnancy. I went for an private early scan this morning as I had a feeling something was wrong and the pregnancy wasn’t progressing as it should. I should have been 7 weeks but the scan revealed somewhere between 5-6 weeks and no heartbeat. I have another scan booked for next weekend just incase my dates are incorrect but as we were ttc I’m pretty certain of my dates. Since returning home I’ve had cramping and have began to bleed. It’s heartbreaking but just really want it to be over and done with. We’re going to go down the natural route as I think it’s already starting to happen but if by my next scan it shows there’s still something left I may go down the surgical management route as it’s already killing me waiting for the inevitable to happen and scared what I’m going to see. Seeing other women’s stories and knowing other women are going/ gone through this is comforting even though it’s awful it makes you feel so much less alone. Like you say @Pennyblossom12 no one seems to understand unless they have been through it themselves x

TT83 Fri 17-May-19 19:54:55

@MissR23
I’m really sorry to hear you are going through the same thing sad
It is comforting to share experiences with others that are going through or have gone through the same thing ... it gives some strength and understanding to a very traumatic experience.
My thoughts are with you flowers x

Leftielefterson Fri 17-May-19 19:58:10

OP nothing to add other than sending you an unmumsnetty hug.

MissR23 Fri 17-May-19 20:22:03

It’s awful isn’t, I think you just never expect it to happen to you and just hope everything will be okay. I was so glad when I found this page even though it’s absolutly terrible and so cruel that each of us will have/ had to go through it, at least we have here where everyone knows how each other is feeling and there for support 💜

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