Missed miscarriage

[Charlied82]

I found out on 8th april i had a missed miscarriage, i only found out due to having bad cramps and pain in my lower back(no bleeding) and was advised to go to a&e as maternity unit dont see anyone before 16 weeks, i was given an internal scan where they suspected my worst fear. I had to return to hospital a week later to confirm everything just to be sure my dates were not wrong and again my baby measured at 5/6 weeks, i should have been 11 weeks at that stage. (While here i was expected to sit in a waiting room full of pregnant women coming out happy and smiling with their scan photos, i am happy for them but it was pure hell knowing what news i was going in to get) the doctor confirmed what i already knew! I had started bleeding lightly on the Monday before my follow up scan so was again advised to wait another week to see if nature takes its course and my body could pass the baby naturally! I am up for another scan now on wed 24th april and praying i will be told its all over. Today i am in absolute agony, i am having really bad cramps and lower back pain, the bleeding is starting to get heavier with larger clots (sorry TMI) only i dont know what labour feels like i would swear i was in labour! (My other kids were sections) in short this has been the longest most horrendous couple of weeks of my life, i am now regretting not asking for a d&c sooner! I can honestly say i have never been in this much physical and mental pain in my life! Has anyone been through this? Please tell me it will all be over soon cuz i honestly dont know how much longer i can do this before it breaks me 😭

[coconutlatte44]

Hi @Charlied82, sorry for your loss and all you have been through.
I had an ERPC myself so can't advise you on what is happening but scroll down the page and find the thread "tips for coping with the practicalities of miscarriage" and you will find loads of advice from people who have been through it.
Hope you find relief soon.

[Charlied82]

Thanks so much @coconutlatte44

[snowdroplet]

So sorry you are going through this.
I am going through similar, mmc and medical management at the minute also had previous mc in Jan. Take pain killers for physical pain, i found pain on previous mc worst than my labours. With the difference been i was fighting against the pain, labour was the opposite. With each pain too my heart broke. I found the physical pain stopped before everything was passed. After it passed bleeding was a lot less and physically I was fine. This time i knew for a couple off days there was no hope. As soon as pain started i took pain relief the mental pain is hard enough. It will get easier, be kind to yourself and rest up when you can.

[Lovestruk]

Hi Charlied82 I'm having a natural mmc too I'm sitting on the loo in agony as we speak. Feel free to pm me I've been on and off the forums here the past week or so and I've have the contractions/material the past three days, bleeding for the past 12 days. It's quite scary the amount of blood/material I'm passing and don't think I've passed the baby yet :( I'm taking nurofen plus but I don't think it's doing anything tbh. I have to get up off loo now and get to bed my right leg keeps getting weird cramps.

[Charlied82]

Thanks snowdroplet and sorry to hear your news aswell, there is not enough info given to people in this situation, i opted for the natural approach simply because i was told it would be like a heavy period and because i had started bleeding i assumed that was it starting! How wrong i was, i never expected any of this pain, cramps yes but nothing like the pain i felt this morn, thankfully my pain has stopped now after a solid 5 hours in agony! Ive only passed small clots though so not sure if thats it done or not! Im praying it is because i cant allow myself to grieve until this part is over. X

[Lovestruk]

Hi Charlie I've tried twice to reply to your pm and it said message sent but then blank have you receive on your end? Xxx

[Charlied82]

Hi @luvestruk i have recieved both and replied thanks

[snowdroplet]

Lovestruk sorry you are going through this too, hope its soon over for you. How far along were you?

Charlied82 i don't feel like its like a heavy period at all. With my first mc it was 3 full days after I had bad cramping that I passed the sac. I had thought everything was passed but it hadn't. Once it did I was sure. Sorry but your probably not done yet :( For me the pain did stop though, hopefully it will for you too. I went for a long walk and cried the whole time, I think this helped to speed things. Baby was measuring 6 weeks for me.

With my previous mc there had been a heartbeat at my u/s and still hope but mc started shortly after. This time there was no heartbeat and no signs of mc starting naturally. Sonographer thought it could take some time to naturally happen and mentally I wasn't able for that so I chose to go medical management. I started bleeding within an hour of taking tablets and had cramping shortly after and I passed clots and tissue but just feel that is the start of things. Effects of tablets seem to be gone Everything has stopped now and I feel I am going to be in the 10% it doesn't work for. This time baby was measuring 8w5d so expecting it to be worst.

[Lovestruk]

I'm the same snowdrop 8 weeks 6 days :( your post is heartbreaking and I feel for you I really do. They gave me the pills but I didn't take them obviously I was delusional that some miracle might happen. It's definitely nothing like a period, more like a horror movie. Did you find pain relief done anything though snow? I've been taking it for three days now on the onset of pain I've taken nurofen plus but find it's not doing anything, have tradol there if or should I say when pain comes back, as much as I want it to be I know in my heart and soul it's not over. Pm me if you need to talk snow xxx

[Charlied82]

So sorry to hear u are going through this for a 2nd time snowdroplet, your pain must be horrendous both physically and mentally! I know in my heart its just wishful thinking on my part that ive had it "easy" i will know whats happening more on wed morn so fingers crossed there will be an end to this nightmare one way or the other soon! Its crazy how many women experience this and are too afraid to speak about it for fear of upsetting people or making them uncomfortable! Im here anytime u need to talk, look after yourself x

[snowdroplet]

Lovestruk the physical pain I can deal with. I was so upset during cramps last time i was afraid to go through it again so painkillers helped to numb pain and keep me in denial I guess. The waiting is torture I feel like a ticking bomb!

Charlied82 hopefully Wed is just a formality and its all over by then. I am not back for follow up until May 2nd

[blondie87]

I’m so sorry to hear what you are all going through. I’m currently having my first miscarriage and it’s awful. It hasn’t been particularly painful physically but I’m an emotional wreck. I thought I’d be fine once the worst of the bleeding was over but it’s the disappearance of all the signs of being pregnant that’s really brought it home. I’ve got a scan tomorrow and while I’ve held out some hope, I think I have to face up to the fact that it’s over.

[Lovestruk]

Sorry blondie I understand and am sorry for your loss. Good luck with the scan and come and talk if you need to x I too have trouble seeing the signs disappear and am and emotional wreck or as my sister called me yesterday a wrecking ball. How are you sleeping? I find I don't sleep much and need constant distraction or else I end up a ball of tears as I'll sit for hours going through everything in me head coming up with all kinds of illogical thoughts xxx

[blondie87]

Thank you @lovestruk. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time sleeping. I was shattered last night emotionally and slept quite well but I’m hosting a family Sunday lunch today so I need to get my act together. I hope you get a chance to rest today.

[Lovestruk]

Good luck today I hope you are alright xxx

[Williams51]

Hi im going through a miscarrage at the moment i should b 11 weeks tomorrow went for a early scan due to bleeding wen i was 6 weeks 2 days baby had a heartbeat and they said everything is fine but i wanted to make sure so booked my self into a private scan on sunday just gone and was told no heartbeat and that the baby was 5 weeks 2 days got to wait till friday now to go to hospital in the mean time theres no blood no pain. Im so confused

[Charlied82]

Hi @williams51 sorry to hear u are going through this, its such a horrible situation. I went to a&e on 8th april with cramps and back pain and found out my baby had died around 5/6 week mark (i should have been 10 weeks) i had no bleeding at all just the cramps, unfortunately it does happen for some of us this way and its known as a missed miscarriage. I am back up for my 2nd follow up scan to discuss a d&c tomorrow morning if the baby hasnt passed naturally. I am praying it has as i have been bleeding (normal period with clots sorry tmi) since last Monday and was in horrendous pain on saturday morn, what i can only describe as labour pain. Had i known it was going to take this long and had i expected the physical and mental pain of this last 2 weeks i def would have opted for a d&c sooner. What steps you take next are completely up to u, dont let anyone pressure u into something u are not comfortable with. I have been a zombie this last 2 weeks and having serious up and down moments, i tried the natural approach but not sure if it has worked yet (this itself is hell) when i go to my app tomorrow and if im told the baby is still there i will be asking for a d&c asap as i cant keep living like this, its pure torture. If u need to talk feel free to pm me, another lovely lady on this forum has helped me through the last few days just by listening to me ramble on! Im here if u need to talk x

[Lovestruk]

Good luck today Charlie I hope it's "good news" and everything is gone be thinking of you x William it's such a confusing time I'm so sorry for your loss x On Friday they will probably go through options with you going forward if nothing has changed, it's an very emotional time so don't worry about crying too much or having all sorts of feelings/thoughts, be very kind to yourself at this very fragile time and come talk if you want to there is some very lovely ppl on here who know how your feeling and have helped me immensely xxx