Hi all. I guess I’m just feeling lost in my grief.
I fell pregnant in April with my 2nd baby. It was troublesome from word go with both an ectopic and slap cheek scare. But at week 9, I saw my little babies heartbeat.
The day after my birthday, 10th June I started to bleed and lost the baby at 11 weeks. I spent three nights in hospital. Hubby and I have tried again since with no luck.
I suffer with flashbacks from the pain and blood, I get very upset knowing that it’s heart beat for the last time and I could do nothing and also that had never had the chance of even just a cuddle.
My beautiful son often asks when he will be a big brother which breaks my heart.
Fast forward to today which should have been my due date. It’s been looming and whilst I’ve been excited about Santa etc for my son, the count down has killed me.
I was supposed to go to MIL for a Boxing Day lunch but as I’ve been under the weather the last few days (just tonsillitis I think) I couldn’t face it.
Hubby doesn’t seem to understand. Has anyone else found this?
When it happened, he said ‘rather now than later on as it’s only really cells’. Whenever I get upset he just says ‘we’ll have another’ rather than grasping that I am grieving for our child. He’s pretty angry that I’ve stayed at home today but I couldn’t paint a smile on.
90% of the time I’m ok but some days I really struggle.
Any one else?
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Today was my due date
1 reply
LouH1981 · 26/12/2018 17:29
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