Early miscarriage but still sad

[smerlin]

Just wanted to know if anyone had experienced similar really. Had scan at estimated 5 weeks and sac could just about be seen but still v v small. By next scan a week and a half of bleeding later nothing there any more.

I still feel like shit and not even sure I have the right to be. For all I know there was never even anything in there, sorry to be blunt, but still feel like I'm mourning the baby that wasn't to be.

Feel guilty about that as I haven't even had the terrible experience of seeing a heartbeat and then loss. Anyone else been in the same position?

[Modestandatinybitsexy]

I got a positive test at 4 weeks then my period at 6 weeks. Did feel a bit of a phoney for feeling so upset but I had been excited about it for two weeks and it was a lot to process.

Sorry for your loss your feelings are completely valid and you shouldn't feel bad for mourning the loss of something you wanted.

[Bombardier25966]

You've lost a whole lifetime of memories. Your sadness is just as valid as any other loss.

[JackMummy12]

I lost also back at 6 weeks in September, months later I’m still hurting so badly. If you need someone to talk to please get in touch as I know how you are hurting x

[TinselBee]

That's that feeling of hope, a whole life, all these excitement moments you'd thought about that's been lost.

Smerlin, you have every right to be upset.

I was devastated after a CP (positive then only 3 days later AF showed up)

With my current MMC I never saw a heartbeat, rather similar story to yours and it's heart wrenching still.

Don't feel guilty please lovely

[saltymofo]

I lost my first pregnancy at about 6 weeks, had morning sickness starting and early symptoms so I did feel upset even though I told myself it was too early to get excited. But I got pregnant again with my DD soon after. It was like my body was giving it a trial run.

[rainbowquack]

I'm sorry for your loss. I am also sorry that you feel your grief isn't valid, because it is.

As PP's have said, it's the loss of hope, dreams and visions that you had for your future child.


Be kind to yourself.

[Graphista]

I lost my first pregnancy early almost 30 year ago.

Got morning sickness really early with all 3 pregnancies. Did a home test was positive then another test at Drs (well nurse) was also positive, in the bank holiday weekend immediately after I mc.

I was 18 and no longer with the father so was quite in shock and no idea what I was gonna do. Was living in a bedsit working a low paid job.

I felt so much guilt because while I was pregnant short though it was I didn't know if I'd keep it. I felt like I wished it away.

Your grief is real and nobody has the right to take that from you. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally.

[smerlin]

Thanks everyone. Can't believe what a struggle it is actually. Every time I see anything baby related I feel physically sick. And I am lucky enough to have a daughter already.

[Graphista]

That's completely normal. I struggled for up to a year each time at least with pregnancy/baby related stuff.

[BramRang]

I've had three miscarriages; 5 weeks (v similar to you), mmc at 9 weeks, and 14 weeks. I've felt each loss as strongly as the other. Each was hard for different reasons and I've had to be reminded a lot that my feelings about each are valid. Physically the second trimester miscarriage was the hardest, but in a way it was easier emotionally because I knew what/who I was grieving, I have little things to remember them by including the sonogram photo (and I like to remember how full of joy the day we saw their face was) (however it was very recent so I appreciate I may not have processed it fully). With the earlier miscarriages we don't have that, and my partner especially found it a lot more difficult to process his feelings.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, OP. It is awful and you don't need to feel guilty for mourning; you have every right. Take your time and be kind to yourself .

[FranStewart]

I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m feeling exactly the same today. I had a positive test 3 days ago but woke today to spotting and my breasts no longer ached like they had been all week. I just knew I was miscarrying. I went to the doctors and had a negative urine test there and the doctors dismissed me as if I was never pregnant. Struggling to process it, thank god for these forums. Pregnant is pregnant. Grief is grief. I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Fran x

[MissL85]

I know what you mean, Fran. The same happened to me on Saturday and I had only done a pregnancy test on Wednesday. I was already feeling nauseous when I was eating. All the signs seemed really positive at 4 weeks 3 days but I miscarried. I also miscarried at 5 +3 last year. It’s the life we might have had and all the hope of something special on its way.

[smerlin]

Thanks all. It just seems so unpredictable as well- at points I am completely fine and then suddenly feel 'inexplicably' sad. Basically everything pg/baby related is a trigger at the moment too

[Wolfiefan]

It’s not inexplicable. You have suffered a loss and are grieving. I’m so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself. Take care OP.

[FranStewart]

MissL85 sounds exactly like my experience. I’m so sorry you’ve been through it twice.
Smerlin, like Wolfiefan said, it’s not inexplicable, I’m exactly the same. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m crying in the middle of a supermarket (yesterday).
I think it’s just take it as it comes, don’t expect too much of yourself and acknowledge your loss. I hope you have a good support system at home but if you don’t please feel free to PM me 😘 xx