MMC - just got scan photos

[Shannyjensen]

Hi, last week I found out our baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks (I thought I was 11 at the time). After my D and E the surgeon, who was lovely, said to me she didn’t think this was a viable pregnancy. I was too out of it to question her. I collected my scan photos yesterday and to me it looks like my babies head was extremely small in comparison to its body :-( I have googled this and other scan photos where the baby has had anencephaly resemble my scan photo.
What do you think? Am I being neurotic? I feel like I NEED to know why my baby was taken away from me before I could even get to know him/her. I’m completely broken xx

[HereForTheLineEyes]

I couldn't possibly say, I'm rubbish at working out scan photos. Can you contact the hospital and ask the surgeon? Do you know anyone in the medical field who might be able to tell you? I had a MMC in March and I totally get that you feel the need for some answers

[Shannyjensen]

Hi, thank you for replying. I suppose I could try to contact the surgeon. I think I need to speak to me GP anyway because I’m just not coping well. The hardest part for me is that my body just didn’t want to let go of the baby... I feel almost guilty for having a D&E. I’m sorry for your loss, it’s such a cruel thing to go through xxxxx

[HereForTheLineEyes]

I struggled with the fact that my baby had stopped growing sometime between 6-8 wks but my body didn't recognise it until nearly 12. I felt like such a fool walking around on cloud 9 thinking I was carrying a healthy baby. Even when I started sporting my body took what felt like forever to fully miscarry. I hated my body, I felt like it had failed me and failed my baby.

But then my friend said something lovely and it just changed my perception of the whole thing. She said that my body had just wanted to hold on to something it loved for as long as possible. There is no shame in your body giving your baby too much love.

I hope you find some comfort it that. It really helped me.

Take the scan with you and ask your GP.

I also found it helped me to name the baby. I just felt like calling them "the baby" was not enough. There would be other babies, families and friends babies that would be referred to as "the baby" and then it felt like the baby that I lost wouldn't have an identity. So we gave them a unisex name and had a little wooden box made which we put the scan photos in and a little boat my son had made for them.

Well done for seeking help for your GP. Miscarriage can be such a lonely and dark place.

[Shannyjensen]

Thank you for taking the time to write back to me. That is a lovely way of thinking. The hardest part for all of this has been ‘how did I not know? How did my body not know?’ But thinking of it like that makes sense. My baby was so loved and wanted. Xxxx

[alisha1234]

I have also had a similar experience, when I went for my 12 week scan it showed that my baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks, my body didn't notice until 7 days after the scan which meant that it took 5 weeks for my body to fully know what had happened, I would advise that you speak to somebody about the scan photo. The thing that helped me the most was knowing that my body kept my baby safe until I was able to have the scan photo at 12 weeks. So sorry for your losses

[Shannyjensen]

Thank you. I know what you mean, I am so happy and lucky to have my scan photos. Xxxx