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2nd miscarriage this year at 37yrs. Chances of a succesful pregnancy.

(14 Posts)
cwalsh2002 Fri 26-Oct-18 23:02:45

I have just suffered my 2 mc this year, 1 @ 6wks and the other @ 16wks. With the 2nd I had an early reassurance scan as I was so anxious and all was fine. At my 12wk scan again all was well so I'm so confused as to why this has happened. I fell so easily my my son who is 3, and had no issues during pregnancy. Now at 37 I feel my age has caught up with me and that I am now destined to have mc after mc if I keep trying. I am torturing myself with what ifs, especially in regard to not trying sooner. My partner is in pain too and I'm trying to support him but feelings of resentment are bubbling away as we put off trying at his request. I don't want to give up trying but I don't think I can go through this pain again. I just want someone to give me some crystal ball certainty which I know is not possible. Has anyone had a late miscarriage at my age and gone on to have a succesful pregnancy?

OP’s posts: |
moonpeace Sat 27-Oct-18 16:28:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cwalsh2002 Sat 27-Oct-18 16:51:07

Moonpeace, thank you for your reply. I'm sorry to hear of your losses, but big congratulations on your pregnancy, I really hope this one goes smoothly for you. My mc only happened last week. Hearing the words "I'm sorry but I am unable to find a heartbeat" was truly the worst thing I have ever heard. In many ways I think the fact that I keep getting told how rare it is at this stage makes it worse as I am now convinced that this spells the end for me. We have consented to a full post mortem so perhaps that will throw up some answers. Beyond that, I have no idea what to do. I don't know of I should be pressing my GP for fertility testing or seeing a private consultant. It feels so early to be even thinking of this but I feel so desperate to find answers and get some reassurance about my future. At the same time it's distracting me from really allowing myself to grieve for my lost son because I'm scared that if I truly allow myself to go there, I might not be able to pick myself back up.

OP’s posts: |
moonpeace Sat 27-Oct-18 18:55:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cwalsh2002 Sat 27-Oct-18 20:37:11

Thank you, I think I will look into acupuncture. In the meantime, lota of kisses and cuddles for my dc.

OP’s posts: |
OhGodWhatTheHellNow Sat 27-Oct-18 20:49:18

I feel for your loss, when I was in your position the epu very much went with the 'just one of those things' approach which was so disheartening. For context, I had two mmc (7 and 12 weeks) at 40 and 41, before going on to have successful pregnancies at 42 and 45, so please try not to lose hope. I do appreciate how hard that is flowers.

cwalsh2002 Sat 27-Oct-18 21:17:43

OhGodWhatTheHellNow, thank you for sharing. How wonderful that you had 2 successful pregnancies after suffering terrible loss. Hearing stories like yours is just what I need to hear at the moment to give me hope.

OP’s posts: |
Angharad07 Sat 27-Oct-18 21:34:28

Hey op, please remember that people can have mc at all ages for lots of different reasons. Miscarriages are unbelievably common, unfortunately. Please don’t let this put you off. I’m in my 20s and have had 2 successive miscarriages before my current pregancy. I’m so sorry for your loss. If you want more children don’t give up because of your age.

cwalsh2002 Sun 28-Oct-18 10:58:32

I know mc's are common and its amazing how many people you discover have gone through it when you open up about your own experience, however it's the fact that I keep getting told how rare it is to have a late miscarriage that plays on my mind. I am trying to keep positive but at the same time I feel like I need to mentally prepare myself for never having another baby and I'm not sure how to do that. I am so lucky to have a gorgeous child already, I know that, but I can't help yearning for another.

OP’s posts: |
Fatas Sun 28-Oct-18 17:11:38

Hi
37 is still young in the grand scheme of things. I think it is a waiting game- see what the post mortem comes up with.

I had my 1st at 39 with one previous miscarriage, I got pregnant again at 39, but unfortunately it wasn't to be. A scan at 13 weeks showed cystic hygroma and generalised edema, I was told if I opted not to terminate I would miscarry anyway.

I don't know, I'm no expert, but perhaps nothing was picked up at your 12 week scan, but your baby may have been poorly anyhow.

I don't think these things are rare, I know people who have given birth to stillborn babies, I know others who have found out awful news at 20 week scan.

I still never thought this would happen to me, but it did!

The consultant said to me, I hope this does not put you off trying for another. She clearly did not see this as an issue and she was an expert in high risk pregnancies.

We are waiting for genetic counselling and then we will go from there.

I know how you feel though, I too am lucky to have a beautiful baby, but was so excited to have a brother or sister for him. I don't think you can prepare yourself for not having another baby. Give your body a bit of time to heal and get the results from your post mortem, one step at a time. At 37 there's most likely some good eggs left in there, and if there isn't...well you will just have to deal with that if and when the time comes.

flowers

123dawn Tue 30-Oct-18 09:36:25

I am so sorry for your losses. I had two miscarriages at age 40 - one at 9 weeks and one at 7 weeks, along with a number of chemical pregnancies (at least 3 I think). I pretty much conceived every month but each time suffered a loss. It was a very hard year.

I conceived just after turning 41, and am now almost 20 weeks pregnant. All is well so far.

I asked myself the same question that you have done, after my second miscarriage, and so wanted someone to be able to give me an answer. We decided to have one last try, and although I feel very anxious pretty much all the time, I am glad we did.

cwalsh2002 Tue 30-Oct-18 11:15:24

Fatas, thank you for sharing and sorry to hear if your loss too. I'm glad to hear your consultant has encouraged you to carry on trying, that's a positive indication. Hopefully once the post mortem results are back, I'll be receiving the same sort of encouragement.

123dawn, again, thank you for sharing. How amazing that you are now 20 weeks along. Fingers crossed for a safe and peaceful delivery. Can I ask, did you make the decision to try again with or without and testing to determine the cause of your previous losses?

OP’s posts: |
RiverTam Tue 30-Oct-18 11:21:49

37 is no age and may have no bearing on your MCs. FWIW I had 5 early MCs but still went on to have DD at age 38. I went private in the end and whilst they found nothing wrong (with either of us) I was prescribed progesterone and also had acupuncture.

flowers for you. Look after yourself x

123dawn Tue 30-Oct-18 12:38:28

No we didn't have any testing. I had to have an erpc for each of the miscarriages, but didn't really consider testing and wasn't offered it - I just assumed the problem would be something chromosomal due to my age.

I've had successful pregnancies between ages 27-38 (in fact my last child was born at 38, just before I turned 39), so did not have any reason to believe there was a fundamental problem. If I had suffered a third miscarriage, we would have just stopped trying. I am very thankful that this is (hopefully) not a decision we will have to make. We know this will be our last child. I could not go through a year of losses again - it has really taken its toll on my anxiety. I am not much of a worrier, but the difference between this pregnancy after recurrent losses, when I worry about every twinge (or lack of), and the earlier pregnancies I just sailed through without hardly worrying about a thing, is staggering. Even writing this post, I've been stressing that I haven't felt the baby kick much today, and have just felt a couple of sharp jabs so am now reassured again for a while.

I did opt for non-invasive testing at 10 weeks pregnant on this pregnancy, as I knew my downs risk etc from the nuchal scan would be high due to my age. I was very pleased to have done this as the risk from the blood test was something like 1 in a million, compared with 1 in 172 from the nuchal test.

I think you have age on your side - a good few years before you hit 40 as that was when I really noticed the downturn in, not my fertility, but being able to maintain a pregnancy.

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