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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Meghan and Harry

20 replies

shelly000999 · 15/10/2018 14:50

Whilst I'm happy for them of course, I'm shocked at how much the news has completely thrown me. I'd have been due probably much around the same time and I just feel a maelstrom of pain at seeing every small change in her figure over the next few months. Is it just me?

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NicolaG12 · 15/10/2018 15:20

Hi Shelly. No it’s definitely not just you. I’ve had a horrible day today from it. I would have been due the end of March and I know that now she is pregnant there will be a media circus around it, her growing bump etc. This will all be shoved in our faces on tv and magazines until the baby gets here! All the while I will be thinking that it should be me too! I hope you are ok? I was doing ok, been 4 weeks since my mc and I thought I was doing better, af just arrived and now looking to the future but this has thrown me too. Xx

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RhubarbRocks · 15/10/2018 15:24

Sorry for your loss. No it’s not just you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very happy for them (just because I’m unhappy it doesn’t mean I don’t want others to be happy and they look like a lovely couple). However, I’m dreading seeing her pregnancy develop over the next few months - I was also due around the same time and am having an ERPC after a missed miscarriage tomorrow. I can’t seem to avoid news about them anywhere today and it feels like it will be a constant reminder for months/ years to come.

Having said that, I’m sure it will get easier for me (I appreciate your experience may be different). Last time my friend’s wife was due the same week as me - I miscarried and they had a healthy son. It was really hard as her pregnancy continued, and is still a reminder but now there son is growing up I no longer find it painful like I did. So I hope this will be the same.

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julygirl · 15/10/2018 15:31

I'm the same, it's completely rattled me. I would have been due at the same time. Now I have the baby fever and media mania to go through, I'm dreading it. It'll be a constant reminder of where me and my bump should be. I'm the same age as her and it feels so unfair. So irrationally so.

I lost our baby a month ago and think I'm getting to the angry/depressive stage of grieving, and this hasn't helped. It feels like everyone is getting pregnant around me.

(I do hope she has a lovely happy pregnancy though)

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JacquelynScieszka · 15/10/2018 15:59

Me too. MMC a little over 3 weeks ago at 9 weeks. We would have been telling people about now as well. I'm surprised at how much it's knocked me, and feel like a horrible person.

Hope you're all doing ok, and that it goes well for them as well.

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saddnessinseptember · 15/10/2018 16:18

Mmc 4 weeks ago exactly - it’s totally thrown me too...sending love and support xxx

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WildFlower2018 · 15/10/2018 20:09

It's really upset me too. I've been upset all day. It has thrown me for six.

I got married two weeks after she did, at the end of May. We conceived in June - we were so so happy. Never in a million years thought we'd conceive first month of trying on honeymoon. It felt like a dream come true. We'd have been due mid-March.

Sadly, the pregnancy wasn't viable and we were given the choice leaving "it to nature" or to interrupt the pregnancy. We felt it kinder all round to choose the latter option. Baby was 13 weeks.

Worst thing is, I'm a freelance writer and I'm supposed to be contributing Meghan Markle related articles to a royal website - literally my job to write about her, her pregnancy, her maternity clothing, her royal tour. Debating whether or not I can do it.

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WildFlower2018 · 15/10/2018 20:10

Thanks to everyone posting here btw. I must admit, it's reassuring to know it's not just me that's upset xX

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meditrina · 15/10/2018 20:12

Their advisers really fucked up by making a pregnancy announcement on at the culmination of the week and on the day of the Wave Of Light.

It is a great shame it happened, when it could so easily have been avoided by waiting just a few more hours (after all, there's no change to their itinerary).

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Whyme2628 · 15/10/2018 20:17

it's a shame they decided to announce on a day when so many of us remember and cry over our lost angels..

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InDreamland · 16/10/2018 08:33

I feel exactly the same. The news totally threw me and I broke down. It's been a difficult enough week and yesterday I said to DH that their timing couldn't have been worse. I lit my candle at 7pm and completely broke down.

Agree with you @meditrina and @whyme2628. Badly advised .......but theb Harry should've known, his cousin has suffered a mc!

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PinkLady89x · 16/10/2018 19:37

Hi,
I completely understand where you're coming from. I would have been due on the 4th April and I was surprised at how sad I felt seeing the news. Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for them but I just feel it's so unfair that this happened to me. I had a mmc at 9 weeks and I had my first AF a couple of weeks ago. Here's to getting back to normal and trying again ay! Wishing everyone luck with their future journeys. X

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Stargirl28 · 17/10/2018 09:07

Hi! I’m so glad I’m not the only one feeling this way. I lost my baby at 15 weeks at the end of September and am completely heartbroken. Back to work on Monday to everyone talking about Meghan and Harry 😡
Happy for them.. but all the news/photos are so difficult to see as I would have been due at a similar time- end of March. Keep strong ladies. Wishing you all happier times ahead xxx

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RuthMancini · 17/10/2018 09:14

I'm so sorry that you all have this to contend with every time you turn on the TV or walk past the newspaper stand in a shop. No-one is a horrible person for feeling this way. It's completely natural. I had three miscarriages and found it really hard to hear the happy news of family and friends that came at the same time, but to have this constant media barrage and reminder must be horrendous for you. Sending every one of you a big hug. I will be thinking of you and how you must be feeling every time I see this in the news. xxx

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saddnessinseptember · 17/10/2018 11:47

Thank you @RuthMancini that’s really lovely of you! Xxx

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shelly000999 · 17/10/2018 12:07

Big hugs to all of us. Don't get me wrong, I really am very happy for her (and for everyone in that lovely situation!!) but it does help to know that we're not alone in all this.

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elliejjtiny · 17/10/2018 12:13

I'm so sorry for all your losses. I've had miscarriages, a long time ago now and there were a couple of celebrities and tv characters due at the same time as me, it was awful and I felt so jealous.

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RuthMancini · 17/10/2018 12:35

SaddnessinSeptember, you're more than welcome. I'm glad to have spotted this thread as it's prompted me to post about this on my Facebook page. People who haven't experienced this kind of loss often just have no idea of the impact of pregnancy news. You don't have to smile and be happy for anyone else. Women enjoying healthy pregnancies are getting plenty of that elsewhere. What's needed is for others to understand what it must be like and spare a thought or a hug for you xxx

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Stargirl28 · 17/10/2018 18:11

Thank you ruthmancini- that is so kind of you! Big hugs to everyone xx

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TurquoiseDress · 18/10/2018 07:42

Just spotted this thread now.

Yes I agree that timing was rubbish, making it on Monday which was such a significant day marking people's losses.

I suffered a MMC over 2 years ago- found out at the dating scan- it was such a horrendously awful time.

I totally understand re other women's pregnancies, esp when they were almost the same dates as me.

Even worse with a couple like H&M, you know the press is going to report & document every second of that pregnancy.

I have no idea if H&M have experienced pregnancy loss, I'm tentatively guessing no...I had a pang of envy for how joyous they looked.

I did go on to have successful pregnancy after my MMC- the result is now 10 weeks old and in my arms!

But I could never relax throughout, esp in the first trimester- we didn't tell people til it was obvious & I was showing a lot.

Just wanted to post to say that I understand totally where you are all coming from and hope that you all get the baby that you want very soon.

It's so true that you can never truly understand unless you've been through it; it was only after my MMC that I 'got it', prior to that I seriously had no clue!

Wishing you all well 

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unknownalone · 19/10/2018 01:50

@shelly000999 I feel exactly the same I would of been due around the exact same time as them, lost my baby over a week ago, every time I see it it breaks me x

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