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Feel guilty for enjoying myself

(4 Posts)
Pitt1983 Sun 01-Jul-18 07:47:32

Hi, I found out on Wednesday at our dating scan that our baby had sadly died a few weeks previously. This was a massive shock as I had no signs of miscarriage and still very much felt pregnant. I am booked in for an ERPC tomorrow but have started spotting over the last few days. I have been very up and down emotionally since finding out and it’s been very tough at times.

A very good friend of ours had an important celebration last night which we went along to for a few hours. Everyone was surprised that we went but I felt like it would be good for us to do something “normal” and talk/think about something else for a bit. This is where i’m struggling, I enjoyed myself (obviously it was in the back of my mind the whole time but outwardly I was enjoying being out). I am now feeling very very guilty about this on top of everything else. I realise I’m overthinking things but I feel like I’ve totally minimised this awful situation.

Sorry for unloading, my husband (who has been amazing) doesn’t really understand this guilt and thinks I’m just punishing myself for nothing.


OP’s posts: |
Minnie89 Sun 01-Jul-18 16:05:06

Hi hun
First, let me just say I’m so sorry that happened to you. Similar experience happened to me last year.

Please don’t feel guilty! Think of everything you have been through! You need to have some fun and feel happy if only for a few hours. Your body has been through a lot and so has your mind! You’ve probably spent a lot of time feeling sad and trying to deal with everything. You’ve definitely not minimised the situation at all. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first, not saying forget what’s happened by any means, but take small steps to make yourself happier again hun. In time you’ll deal with this and you won’t feel guilty anymore ❤️ We all deal with things and heal differently, so if putting your heels on and having a dance is what you need to do, then do it!! I did the same thing and i was so grateful to be around people that loved me and knew how to make me laugh and distract my overthinking brain.

All the best hun, hope you’re feeling better soon xxx

Pitt1983 Sun 01-Jul-18 19:31:30

Thank you for your kind words and i’m sorry you have had to go through this too, it’s just awful.

I think i’m overthinking things, I tend to try and find a way to blame myself for most bad things that happen to us. I’m hoping tomorrow will give me some sense of an end, the waiting is horrid, and we can start to put our lives back together.


OP’s posts: |
Minnie89 Sun 01-Jul-18 19:49:03

We do that as humans, blame ourselves. But these situations really aren’t our fault. I guess it makes things harder when there’s no reason to why it’s happened so automatically we think it’s our fault.

The waiting is the worst! I hope you and your husband get through this and all the best for the future X

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