DH hasn’t asked how I am

[lovelymama]

I’m 5.5 weeks pg with DC3. It wasn’t planned and to be honest we weren’t thrilled to be expecting again. Started bleeding yesterday afternoon and I’m assuming I’m having a miscarriage as it’s medium flow with some small cramps yesterday but nothing terrible. I’ve never had a miscarriage before so not sure what to expect.

Told DH yesterday I’ve started bleeding and have mentioned it to him maybe once since then but he hasn’t asked at all about it. Hasn’t asked how I am, if I’m still bleeding. I don’t like to go on about things and I’m busy with work/kids/study at the moment so have had to just get on with my stuff today.

I just can’t believe he hasn’t shown any interest. I don’t need him to pander to me but would like him to check up on me a little bit. I feel so annoyed at him and I can’t talk to him about it because I’ve already asked him to show a bit more support when I found out I was pg (and was upset about it as it was such a shock for us) and he said he would try harder then. And now his has happened and feel we will end up having an argument about him not supporting me again.

[Bellabutterfly2016]

Maybe he's not sure how to respond to it? But I know it's very hard.

Phone your local early pregnancy unit up now and get advice.

Sending you big hugs 🤗

[lovelymama]

Thing is Bella he really didn’t want this baby so I know he isn’t sad about the miscarriage. To be honest I’m not massively upset as this baby would have really put terrible pressure on our family situation (won’t go into why but we just really couldn’t have another baby).

So we aren’t sad about the loss as it’s so early in our pg and we are blessed with 2 vert much loved dc. But to miscarry and be a bit confused about whether it is a m/c and bleeding while trying to juggle all the usual work etc I just thought he might enquire once about it.

But he’s downstairs drinking and playing on the computer

[Bellabutterfly2016]

Oh lovely mama;

I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this situation; some say things happen for a reason and perhaps he just thinks as it was unplanned anyway.............. however a miscarriage can be emotionally draining.

I've just posted on another thread - pregnant feeling really sad

Basically 1dd
Were ttc
Got notice of redundancy so stopped
Had "period" or potentially implantation bleed
Positive test - not ideal
Partner wouldn't consider termination
I'm worried about money

It's a right mess!!!!!

Prior to this another baby would have been a very welcome addition now I'm doubting if that's going to be the case!

[Bellabutterfly2016]

Sorry it's
pregnancy

Getting very upset!

So tired I forgot what I typed!!!

[lovelymama]

Bella is it only money you are worried about? If so you can get through it. Is there a good chance of getting another job?

Even if not, 2nd babies can be very cheap to take care of. No new equipment to buy, breast feeding is free, no new clothes....

Or are there other factors that are worrying you?

[Bellabutterfly2016]

It's mainly the money, plus the size of our house and the fact the car will fail its MOT

No maternity pay plus accrued hols this time and it'll be difficult for me to find a job now that I am pregnant so we're about £1000 a month down now and with another baby it'll be difficult - plus no job to go back too;

I just don't think now is the right time. I'm feeling awful, trying to jobhunt, potty train as dd just isn't getting it and I'm just very very stressed.

All my stuff if girls too, clothing, toys so if I had a boy it'd be hard. I did combination feeding last time so would try to bf although partner liked feeding too and it meant I could rest and nip out for an hour if I needed too.

My partner lives in cloud cuckoo land - I deal with all the finances (he just gives me cash every month and I pay everything) - he's lovely but so chilled out he's practically frozen.

I haven't told him I'm seeing the midwife Friday as I'm considering discussing termination with her. I know that's awful but it would be me trying to manage everything with no money, no job and a toddler to look after. I just couldn't do it I don't think but I'm anxious as no idea how many weeks i actually am.

[Bellabutterfly2016]

@lovelymama
Morning - how are you feeling this morning?