MMC- looking for advice

[Skymoon90]

Hi, I've just been for my 16 week scan and found out my baby has no heartbeat and stopped growing at 14+2, i was supposed to go to hospital today but they have no beds available so I'm booked in for first thing in the morning and have been told to go to A&E if I get any cramps or bleeding, I had a mc around 7 years ago but it wasnt missed and was only at 6 weeks and passed naturally, so this time Ive been told I will more than likely have to have surgery to remove and I'm just wondering what will happen to my baby after the surgery? I'm hoping to be able to take her to be cremated so we can either bury or scatter the ashes but I don't know if this will be allowed by the hospital, has anyone been in this situation and knows what happens? Thanks

[StargazyDrifter]

So very sorry for your loss, such awful news. 💐

I had a MMC in December and an operation to remove 'the retained products of conception' in January at around 14 weeks (but stopped growing around 6 weeks). In the pre-op chats with the surgeon and anaesthetist, on the morning of the op, they asked whether I'd like to take the remains home. I said not. They then said they'd send them off for testing and let me know if anything was identifiably wrong. So I think what you have in mind is possible.

Hope everything goes as smoothly as it possibly can in the circumstances.

[Skymoon90]

Hi, thanks for replying, so sorry you've had to go through this too, thankyou for sharing what happened to you, I literally had no idea what the expect and was a little worried what they would do with everything once the op was over, hopefully I'll be able to talk to them about it before hand too

[Happysbno4]

I had a missed last month and EPCR. We were offered the chance to have the embryo (7wks) sent to crematorium. We chose not but 14wks is a foetus so i may have felt differently. Be kind to yourself and I hope you have support. Xx

[Skymoon90]

Thankyou, the nurse gave us a leaflet to read with all our options on so thankfully we could choose. For some reason they won't do D&c and are making me do the medical management insted, I was told earlier that because I'm over 14 weeks I would need D&c but now they are saying the tablets are fine so today I have to give birth to my baby 😔 I can't understand how this is the best option. Thankyou everyone for your help

[Happysbno4]

I'm so sorry. I had the choice and opted for the EPCR. Even when I arrived and told EPU that it had started they were happy to continue. I would have been 10 weeks the baby had stopped at 7. Sending you the biggest hugs my heart goes out to you.

Three weeks on and I'm starting to feel myself. Still sad but accepting and hopeful for the future.
Xx

[Betsy86]

How are you op? I had a mmc at same stage as you and also gave birth to my baby. I chose to take her home and had her buried with my grandparents but the cremation was also a option. So sorry you are going through this xx

[Skymoon90]

Hi, thanks everyone for the replies, I'm out of hospital now but Sunday was one.of the worst days of my life, everything that could have
have gone wrong did, ended up needing blood as I had lost so much, and very close to being.rushed to theatre, it was terrifying. They gave me a choice of hospital cremation or private but the private cremation was just so expensive and we decided we were happy for baby to be cremated with the other babies from the ward, and we can go to the service and scatter the ashes.

[Betsy86]

So sorry to hear what you have been through it is a trult awful time.
Your little one will live on in your heart.
Pm me if you ever want a chat xx