Argh - what is going on with my body??

[CurlyTwirlyTwos]

I’ll try and keep it simple:

Went for a private scan last week, I should have been 8 weeks. I showed a 8 week sac, no fetal pole, no heartbeat.

Confirmed by epau at local hospital 3 days later.

As the private scan could not be taken into account I had to return to epau today, exactly 1 week later to reconfirm suspected blighted ovum. Today showed a fetal pole and a ‘slow’ heartbeat. The sonographer said I measured approx 5-6 weeks, and that my uterus is measuring 8+3

Nothing adds up.

I now have to return in 10 days to see if the pregnancy develops further.

The epau ladies didn’t seem positive about the outcome of my pregnancy - so why make me wait another 10 days? I want this to be over, I was all set for a d&c this week, and to put this behind me.

I know no one can help me. I’ve had a positive test over a month ago now, I realistically know that this is a slow miscarriage - and I am ranting.

Has anyone been through this, or is my body just #*:ed up?

[StargazyDrifter]

Sorry to hear, Curly. The not knowing is really hard. 💐 Did they say what the odds are of this turning out ok? They must think there are some...

[53rdWay]

Sorry you’re going through this.

Early pregnancy services always seem to take this wait-and-see approach with pregnancies that are behind dates and slow growing. I had a 7-week pregnancy measuring at 5 weeks, with a really outsized yolk sac (bad sign), and they wouldn’t do anything because “maybe your dates are wrong” even though they 100% definitely weren’t. I found the pointless waiting really hard to deal with. In the end I miscarried naturally before the follow-up scan.

[CurlyTwirlyTwos]

Thanks for replying, it’s a lonely time.

I’m feeling really low about the whole thing, and another 10 days seems an eternity. It’s so horrible. This is a desperately wanted pregnancy, yet I cannot wait for it to be over.

I have no hope it will turn out well. I don’t feel like I’m going to start bleeding anytime soon, in fact I’m still nauseous and tired to the bone - the 1st trimester symptoms are not decreasing at all.

Am I crazy to book into BPAS and resolve this myself? I’m giving it serious consideration now, in my mind it’s dragging out unnecessarily.....

[StargazyDrifter]

I totally get this, as well as the irony of a MC suddenly being a wanted outcome. Commiserations. I'm in a similar position, waiting for this ectopic to resolve. Had to wait 4 weeks for MMC to be removed previously which was dreadful.

I have always wondered why the pregnancy units do this waiting, which feels excessive - is it genuinely on the off chance things improve, because we don't know enough? Or is it more of a capacity/resource management thing?

Either way, now you're in their care I would keep going through them, especially if the process might yield any useful info or any op comes with analysis of what's gone wrong, as that can help with TTC efforts. That said, wanting to draw a line under it is tempting.

[Michelle0507]

I'd remain hopeful if you still have symptoms I had nothing at all.

[Rachie1986]

No advice but thinking of you, so sorry this has happened x

[Butterflyrosebud]

I’m so sorry Curly. I think it must be because they can’t ‘trust’ the scan that early on so don’t want to risk ending a healthy pregnancy.

Will be thinking of you.

[CurlyTwirlyTwos]

Thank you everyone for responding to my rant. You've been really kind.

I wish I had clear, transparent, unbiased advice. I feel its a resourcing/funding issue rather than ethical rather than a hopeful one. They seemed to be preparing me for the worst to happen, but cannot help me manage it.

I guess it's the waiting game, 9 days and counting......

[53rdWay]

When I challenged my hospital about this policy (through tears) they were clear that it was NHS policy, to prevent terminating a healthy pregnancy in the very small percentage of cases where it’s fine but your dates are wrong and some measurements are a bit odd.

I know some women don’t mind waiting but I also wanted it to be over and found the waiting absolute hell. I wish they’d just trusted me that my dates were right - I was absolutely 100% sure, but it counted for nothing. It is awful to put women through this and we should be given the choice.

[53rdWay]

Also, I had symptoms right up to the day I started bleeding - sickness eased off about two hours before the bleeding started. So I wouldn’t assume you have no chance of naturally miscarrying before the 9 days are up, you might well.

[custardcream5]

So sorry to hear about what's happened to you it's god awful...

I had a MMC at what I thought was 8 weeks but there was nothing in the sac as such which was measuring only 5 weeks its absolutely devastating! I still don't feel 100% two months on...it will take time I think.

Just wanted to say I had no symptoms really with this last pregnancy I lost so in the back of my head kept thinking why would I have such strong symptoms with my first pregnancy and then to feel great in my second with none at all so don't lose hope yet...

Sending you support