Feeling Alone

[LoveOfAnAngel]

So yesterday (May 26th) my daughter should have turned 21 had she not been born prematurely at 28 weeks. This day would have been hard enough but I lost another baby on Christmas Eve 2017 whose due date was only a few weeks ago (April 28th) and I just feel so lost and empty.

I have a lot of other stuff going on that I won't get into here but I'm left feeling really alone. I'm not with the babies farther I have no family and my best (only) friend says she's there for me but isn't.

AIBU? Do I expect too much? My friend spent my babies due date with me which was really kind of her but her son has some stuff going on right now she is preoccupied with that (Adult son, he's older than me, married with children). So last weekend she had said she would message me on Saturday to seee how I was doing but I heard nothing until 10pm on Sunday night saying sorry she hasn't messaged but her son had needed her. I felt so completely abandoned and then when we spoke on Thursday she said that she would spend my daughters 21st with me but she needs to go see her son. It felt like she was saying that she could be there for me but has more important things to do. I get he's her son of course he is more important than me but he has 2 brothers and his wife I literally have nobody. She did text me yesterday to say she was thinking of me but that's it and I haven't heard from her since. I haven't spoken to a soul since I left work on Friday night and I feel so alone.

How can she say that she's there for me when she ignores me the way that she does?

Is it me that has the problem? Am I being unreasonable?

[Confused7412]

Hey - I’ve just posted my first thread and saw yours, and just wanted to say I’m sorry you feel this way.

You sound like a nice person; are there no groups or clubs you could join to make some new friends? I know this may sound scary - but I’m sure it would be so beneficial

I only have a small circle of very good friends but It means that if someone has other priorities (like their children etc) there is someone else that can provide support.

I hate the thought of you feeling alone, and I really hope things start to get a bit better for you xx

[LoveOfAnAngel]

Thank you confused. Sorry I realise how completely pathetic my posts sounds. x

[Confused7412]

Not at all, if you feel sad (and it’s COMPLETELY) understandable then you deserve to have a support network around you. Never feel pathetic for feeling the way you have said in that post.

No pressure, but when you’re up to it how about joining www.meetup.com? Just see what it’s about, if it’s not for you then you never have to do it again - I just hate the thought of anyone feeling sad, lonely or let down.

I really do hope things start to get brighter for you & you get more support from friends. You’ve been through a hell of a time, you deserve to be happy & content now xxx

[LoveOfAnAngel]

Thank you confused. My friend messaged me a couple of hours ago I think she wanted to make sure I was still breathing as I didn't reply to her message yesterday and I have attempted suicide in the past. She asked how I was doing and I just replied with xxxx as I knew she was just checking I was still alive and didn't actually want to talk to me. I know that sounds as though I'm being ultra paranoid but when I replied she text me back with xxxxx within a couple of minutes. I then messaged her again to tell her the truth that I was wandering the streets in the poori g rain and lightning because I didn't know what to do with myself and she hasn't responded. That was 2 hours ago so I guess I know where I stand, right?!