It was my son's due date today (we lost him at 20 weeks). Not had one message today from anyone acknowledging it.
It's shit, isn't it? Dh said it's difficult for them (family and friends), but just a "thinking of X today" text isn't that hard, is it?
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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss
Due date
22 replies
SpongeBobGrannyPants · 25/05/2018 17:53
OP posts:
Pigletthedog ·
27/05/2018 08:37
@Namechangefailagain I felt that I'd let my boy down too. I was in hospital after a bleed, had been there for 3 days and was expecting to be discharged that day. They came to do my routine obs and his heart had stopped beating. I felt like I'd been hit by a train. I remember very clearly feeling that my body had let him down. I think it's a natural reaction.
It wasn't until 3 months later when I had my consultants appointment that we found out that the placenta had failed, I'd had multiple hidden abruptions. And actually by that time, even though technically my body had let him down, I knew that there was nothing that me or anybody else could have to change what happened.
@SpongeBobGrannyPants I've not spoken to SANDS on the phone, it would be pointless as I'd literally just sob! But at the meetings you don't even have to speak if you don't want to. It's very comforting being in a room with people who understand how you're feeling, who don't feel uncomfortable with your grief.
Is your husband/partner supportive?
for all of us. It is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and my DP, and impacted massively on my DS who was 7 at the time.
SpongeBobGrannyPants ·
27/05/2018 13:14
Yes, @Pigletthedog, he's been great. We've had to lean on each other a lot though. It would be good if some of his family and friends wanted to chat about it with him.
Your poor DS. One of the hardest things for me was breaking the news to our 4 year old. I'll never forget his face. Just full of confused sadness. Although, he does speak about his brother a lot which is lovely when nobody else does.
OP posts:
Pigletthedog ·
27/05/2018 21:44
oh that's so sad. I think the impact on my son was the hardest bit for me. Sort of, I'm an adult, I can cope but my little boy shouldn't have to know that babies die ☹️. I like how children are straight talking though, if they have questions, they ask, if they're sad, they say so.
We were fortunate to have another baby in February, a little girl. The pregnancy was incredibly stressful for all of us, and I know it was hard for my son.
I could talk forever about what happened 
but I don't want you to feel you have to reply to me all the time if you don't want to.
Pigletthedog ·
28/05/2018 22:59
That's great news, congratulations! It definitely wasn't easy being pregnant again, it's a shame, after losing a baby you never enjoy pregnancy in the way you did before. I remember being envious of women who could moan about feeling sick or getting fat and take for granted that after their 12 week scan everything would be fine, or referring to the 20 week scan as the one where they find out if they're having a boy or a girl.
Not meaning to bang on about SANDS 
but the meetings I went to were 'next pregnancy' group meetings and they were so helpful.
Thank you, she brings us a lot of happiness 😊
SpongeBobGrannyPants ·
30/05/2018 20:41
Regardless the gestation, as soon as you see those two lines we're connected as mothers to our babies. It can be harder for guys though because they don't have that connection so early. I'm sorry he missed the due date though
I'll come back and update @Pigletthedog and thanks for taking the time to chat to me, it's very much appreciated.
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