Probably miscarrying - in limbo

[GruffaloPants]

I was 5w yesterday but started bleeding around midnight and continued through the day with period-like bleeding and very mild cramps. Am still going now, about 32h in. GP examined me and referred me to the EPU who won't see me as it is too early to scan.

So now I'm bleeding, waiting for a week to test, feels like a mc but nothing certain.

I am lucky enough to already have two DCs so I know it could be worse. My DP has been great, but he is sad and worried too, and is probably holding into more hope than me.

Don't really know if I am asking anything. Just want to get it out and hear from anyone who has gone through similar (or not).

[PineapplePrincess]

Hi @GruffaloPants, sorry you find yourself here.

I’ve now had three miscarriages and a chemical pregnancy. Miscarriages have been ar 10wks, 6wks and 11wks. And the 6wks one was as emotionally painful at the later two.

Be gentle on yourself, take painkillers and use hot water bottles to ease with the cramps. If the bleeding gets excessive, i.e. filling a pad in less than an hour, call EPU.

You can take a pregnancy test again in 2-3 to confirm everything has cleared.

I’m writing assuming this is a miscarraige, but some woman do suffer bleeding and the pregnancy carries on. The odds are pretty much 50/50.

[GruffaloPants]

Thanks @PineapplePrincess

I've been distracting myself with housework but took your advice, slowed down and had a leisurely shower.

That's good to know it's worth retesting after a few days. EPU said a week, presumably to avoid false positives, but I think I'll try in a couple of days. If this is a miscarriage I'd rather be sure.

Can I ask how long people have tended to take off work? I don't want to be off long, but don't want to be silly going back too quick either.

[littleemma1]

Hi @GruffaloPants
I’m in the same boat as you, I started bleeding this morning 😢 started about 8am as spotting then by 9am was full flow blood so I rang the midwife and she said to keep an eye on it with the cramping too and call back in a couple of hours. By midday it became like a heavy period with pains so I called back and she’s confirmed it’s most likely an early miscarriage however they cannot do any scans as I was only 5 weeks today. I have to wait 10 days and POAS which will more than likely be a big fat negative which I’m already fucking dreading 😭😭😭
We are trying to take a silver lining away from this that at least we can get pregnant as just in February we were told by a gynaecologist it was unlikely we would conceive naturally due to me having PCOS. Yet somehow, the first time I naturally ovulated we fell pregnant! Kind of knew it was to good to be true 😔😭
It’s seems silly as we only found out on Sunday so have barely had time to get our heads around it but we are (understandably I think) devastated.
We told our parents on Monday so we will go and break the news to them tonight. Some may think we were too soon in telling them but we want them involved in this, even during this time as we feel they’ll be a good support to us 💕
Do keep me posted on how you get on xxx

[PineapplePrincess]

Time off really depends on how well you’re coping physically and emotionally @GruffuloPants.

With my 10wk miscarriage and this one (11wks) I’m taking three weeks off. First week for the process itself (1st - ERPC, this one - medical management) and physical recovery, the next week or so more for the psychological recovery. Had really bad morning sickness and exhaustion with both pregnancies, so using the next couple of weeks to catch-up on sleep and chill out (hairdressers, massage, retail therapy). Didn’t actually decide myself to take the additional two weeks, went to the doctors for an extended sick line and he signed me off for the two weeks without prompting - saying that miscarriage is bereavement and should be treated as such.

Physically I could go back this week, but my job is stressful and demanding. My heads not in the right space and I feel I would be off sick after picking up a bug in a week or so, if I rushed things.

I did take only a couple of days off with the 6wk miscarriage, turned up the day after miscarrying to work to do a Board presentation which was very important. Then promptly burst into tears in front of my boss for a very minor reason. She told me to go home and take a day or two. In hindsight I should never have rushed back in, trying to put a brave face on.

I would say don’t rush back if you’re not ready. Sometimes doing that just makes the situation worse. And you need to go easy on yourself at the moment.

[GruffaloPants]

Sorry to hear that @littleemma1 , I really hope you are one of the lucky ones. I will update too.
I also wanted to say congratulations on getting pregnant. It's great to know you can do it, whatever comes next. Be kind to yourself.

Thank you @PineapplePrincess . I am tempted to rush back, but I'm going to take at least a week to decide. Luckily my manager is lovely and has been v kind.

[littleemma1]

@GruffaloPants Thank you for your kind words 💐
I don’t want to be positive and think my little pumpkin could survive this, I’m expecting the worst that when I next test it’ll be negative and if it’s somehow positive, it’s a cause for a huge celebration.
I’m meant to be back at work on Friday, I’m planning to get up and go and see how I feel when I’m there. Work is rather high pressure at the minute so not sure how it will go but it could be a good distraction.
Yes, absolutely taking the positives that I can at least get pregnant out of this situation. Clinging to every positive we can get.
How are you feeling? Xxx

[littleemma1]

@PineapplePrincess I’ve only just realised you’re going through the same thing 😘😢 how are you doing?

I found waking up this morning and remembering what’s happening so hard. I hate it. I hate it so much.
I feel pathetic for crying over something I only knew I had for 3 days. But then that pumpkin was so wanted and planned for, our life, our future, was in those 2 lines. Gah I really hate this. Xxx

[GruffaloPants]

Thanks @littleemma1
I did a pregnancy test in the middle of the night. It was negative. It's hard, but at least I know where I stand. Can't deny I am desperate to be pregnant again. It's good to leave behind the maybes though.

I've had a few wee cries. I'm not going back to work til next week as I think I'll really cry if my manager is too nice to me.

I hope you are ok today.

[GruffaloPants]

Please don't think it's pathetic to be sad and hurting. It's not, it's normal, it's ok. It's hard to put that imagined future back on ice.

[PineapplePrincess]

@GruffaloPants - as hard as the negative test is, it’s good news after a miscarriage. Your body has passed all remaining products and hopefully your cycles will kick in again. If you’re up for TTC again, you can do so. I’m waiting on a negative, after a faint positive yesterday.

I’m doing okay @littleemma1, thanks for asking. Ups and downs as expected. I’m generally functioning okay, until something goes wrong then it can be like opening Pandora’s box.

I know that you mean about waking in the morning. For those first few seconds you wake you wonder if it’s all been a horrible dream, then it all comes flooding back.

[GruffaloPants]

Hi @PineapplePrincess and @littleemma1 . I hope you are both ok today, and that you get your negative soon pineapple. Thanks for your kind and helpful words.

I had a lovely, sympathetic email from my manager. It certainly makes things easier not feeling pressured by work.

[littleemma1]

My bleeding seems to have gotten much lighter this morning so I think I’ll do a test over the weekend. I know it’s technically a good thing once you get that negative, as you’ve said @PineapplePrincess it means our bodies have adjusted properly and hopefully it’ll be time to try again. We will certainly be trying again ASAP.
@GruffaloPants yes, my manager has been amazing and has given me until next Wednesday to make my decision about going back.

Hopefully as each day goes by it will get easier for us all.

We get married 6 weeks on Saturday so hopefully this will help keep us occupied xxx

[GruffaloPants]

Oh congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Lovely to have something nice to focus on.

[PineapplePrincess]

Congrats on the wedding @litteemma1. That’s definitely something exciting to look forward to, as well as the honeymoon!?!

[littleemma1]

Oh yes, we have the honeymoon too which I think I’m most excited about!!
Off to Tenerife for a week which I think will be good for us xx

[Holsfie0929]

Hi everyone, I started spotting 2 days ago, yesterday I went to the doctors and the pregnancy test was positive, however last night I think I had a miscarriage. Went and got my blood tests done today so find out the results Tuesday after the bank holiday weekend. I feel empty and so sad, only found out on Monday and miss carried a few days later. Does anyone know how soon you can try after miscarrying? X

[littleemma1]

@Holsfie0929 it might be too early to tell, even with blood tests. Your GP should’ve probably advised to wait a bit longer before confirming a miscarriage. Have you spoken to EPU or midwife? Xx

[Holsfie0929]

The nurse today did a pregnancy test and it came back positive, at the time of arranging the appointment for bloods yesterday I was just spotting the Dr wanted these done to check my hcg levels before sending me for a scan. So I think inevitable happened last night. @littleemma1 congratulations on your upcoming wedding. X

[littleemma1]

That’s what I mean. Your blood tests will come back as a positive pregnancy because they were taken before the miscarriage started to happen.
I may be wrong, but I believe it’s not just “spotting” either. At least mine hasn’t been, it’s full flow heavy period.
Have you spoken to anyone since you started spotting? Do you know how far on you are?
Thank you! It is still giving us something to look forward during a hard time, and a good distraction! Xx

[GruffaloPants]

Holsfie sorry you find yourself here. How many weeks are yoy and why do you feel it was a miscarriage? My understanding is that you can try as soon as you're ready if things were early and straightforward.

[littleemma1]

@Holsfie0929 sorry if I sounded abrupt in my earlier message, I am just confused as to what you were saying and what the doctors have done for you.
I agree with @GruffaloPants, I’m sorry that you found yourself in this place and I sincerely hope it’s not a miscarriage xx

[Holsfie0929]

@GruffaloPants and @littleemma1 last night it was clotting and heavy flow and still continuing now although passing when I go for a wee. I was meant to say the nurse today done a pregnancy test and it was negative, sorry my fault in the confusion. Yesterday the test was positive but I had only been spotting which is why the doctor arranged for blood tests just to see how my hcg levels were before they sent me for a scan next week. I was just over 5 weeks. I just don't feel preganant now x

[Holsfie0929]

It's so comforting to know that others are going through similar if not the same. Nobody tends to talk about miscarriage I feel and it helps to talk and release concerns x

[littleemma1]

Oh @Holsfie0929 I’m so sorry 😢
It’s so shit isn’t it?!
Talking does help and you’re right, there is a taboo around it. I’m openly talking about it because it helps me, but, I have a fantastic network of support that I’m not sure what I would do without right now!
I hope you’re ok xx

[GruffaloPants]

Sorry to hear that @Holsfie0929 . Although I wouldn't wish it on anyone, I'm also finding this thread comforting. It certainly helps to hear from others going through the same thing.

I started bleeding late on Monday and I feel it's beginning to ease off now.