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Misscariage due date

(17 Posts)
Thatgirl123 Tue 22-May-18 22:35:35

I lost my baby in October and I’m coming close to the month I was due I’m starting to struggle again, finally I thought I was getting over it and now I feel like I’m back to square one feeling broken again

Zoo33 Wed 23-May-18 07:16:01

Hi OP. I have no words of advice as I'm in the same position after losing mine in October too. My due date is next week. Some days I feel like I'm going to fall apart, others I feel relatively okay ish as I've made sure I've got things to look forward to. All I can share is what I've been told - that it's okay to grieve, especially now. I hope you're okay.

Thatgirl123 Wed 23-May-18 08:28:48

Hello zoo33,
I’m just finding it really hard recently. Have you had counselling?

Zoo33 Wed 23-May-18 09:24:55

I'm having counselling at the moment to deal with the miscarriage and the end of my relationship. That's on the NHS and it's really helping. Have you had any?

Thatgirl123 Wed 23-May-18 11:22:52

Did you get that through your doctors. I came to an end in my relationship as it was happening. Maybe it’ll help

Zoo33 Wed 23-May-18 12:00:09

Yes, my GP referred me after I sobbed all over her and said I didn't know how to cope. It took 9 weeks for the referral, so it's worth looking into ASAP unless you can afford to go private.

Thatgirl123 Wed 23-May-18 14:20:24

I couldn’t afford private, I’ll see what they say thank you. I can’t stop sobbing still!

Namechangefailagain Thu 24-May-18 16:55:20

I lost my daughter at 20+2, 7 weeks ago. I am dreading her due date. Each day that it gets closer is getting harder. I wish I could say something to make it easier for you. I think there's always going to be days that are harder than others.

HeyDuggeeandtheSquirrels Thu 24-May-18 17:04:43

Offering you all my sympathies ladies it is a completely rotten situation and the due date does bring it all back to the foreground again. I was in your place last year and the thing that remains with me is that things don't go back to normal but you find a new normal. And when your due date comes around do whatever you think is best for you, it may be being really busy or it may be sitting in a ball and sobbing your heart out. There's no time limit on your grief and you will all get through this x

Thatgirl123 Thu 24-May-18 18:24:10

Thank you! It is starting to get really hard! I didn’t know the date but I know the month so think it was the middle of June so it’s going to be really hard definitely struggling. I was getting better until my ex thought it would be a good idea to make me feel worse and just argue with me when he left when I was having a miscarriage so I’ve had a lot to deal with x

Zoo33 Thu 24-May-18 21:53:31

I didn't know what to plan, if anything, for my due date (which is next Thursday). I now have two job interviews that day, so at least I won't be able to mope and will need to stay focused. Maybe it'll stop me getting too nervous in the interviews?!

craftymum01 Thu 24-May-18 22:44:12

I don't think there is anything wrong with moping to be honest. My due date was in July and I plan on being a bit self-indulgent that day. I think if ever there was a time for being selfish and reacting however you want, it is this. Do whatever you need to do to feel better and if that is sit and cry, or go out and keep busy, you do it. Because this is one of the hardest things a woman can go through. Don't feel you have to put on a brave face if you don't want to; I doubt I will.

AgainPlease Thu 24-May-18 22:56:00

@Namechangefailagain I lost my son at 20+0 in 2016. I was absolutely dreading his due date and cried a lot in the lead up to it but on the actual day I didn't cry. I was relieved the day had come and gone. I felt like I could finally move on after that day. Hugs to you xx

Namechangefailagain Thu 24-May-18 23:31:55

Thankyou. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. At the moment I'm counting down every week, I'm hoping once it's been it will start to get easier to live with. X

Thatgirl123 Tue 05-Jun-18 08:23:03

Thank you, I suppose I don’t know how I’m going to react or even what I want to do my best friend messaged me yesterday saying we will make a day of it and make it all about it no matter what I want to do he’ll be there but I haven’t got anything of the babies no scan, blanket nothing so I don’t even have anything that day that I could sob into or carry with me

StargazyDrifter Sun 10-Jun-18 12:30:33

I'm so sorry to read the stories on this thread. It is one of those things that burns and burns in private while life is meant to have 'gone back to normal'. I also have a due date coming up on August, after an MMC just before Christmas. I really struggle some days.

Some time ago on here someone shared that they had coped with their MC news by going on a long beach walk and having a good cry, and that they took away a little stone with them that day which they had kept as a kind of tangible memory. I was on leave when I read that and waiting for my EPRC; I did similar and found it extremely helpful. I still have the pebble by the photo of a much-loved late family member. I find that really comforting.

In terms of what to do on the day, I don't know what to think. I don't really feel it should be about me, I don't know if I could make it about what could have been, the lost child, too painful. Doing something special feels out of place too. Perhaps I might do something positive for others, like a beach clean or that kind of thing.

Hugs to you all. flowers

Thatgirl123 Sun 10-Jun-18 13:17:57

My due date is only in a few weeks I’m starting to feel better but i know it’s going to be really hard, I’m at work that day think it’ll be best if I keep myself busy.
I don’t want to do anything special and make it about me because it’s not exactly a day I want to celebrate xx

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